Monday, May 26, 2008

There is an option

It's hard to put this on this page, when millions around the world is still under this temptations' grip and peers' influences. It was never a dependent issue, it's a matter of being in denial, because you don't need it. No one does.

You've started young and every puff you take gives you the injected suffer you will discover in time. If you could save a dime to save someone's life, you would rather take yours than spare it with someone in need. Why? You would rather live with sheer sufferings planted on your shoulders soon enough for you to even finally breathe a fresher air, and most importantly to see and experience for yourself on proven facts that awaits you? You know you are breeding the silent killer, yet you breathes on the temporary relief still. Why?

What is it about this option in life that pulls you to where you are now? The fact that you're young? The fact that you live once? The fact that you are addicted? The fact that it's a form of escapism? Until the day that one person comes up to me without being in-denial of really what could be the positive reason this thing gives you or me, I shall have my two eyes, one mouth and two ears closed firmly for every opinion and reasons you might feed me with your strong need-of-one-puff emotions. I find it difficult to accept, why do you want to end up in statistics?

I cannot forsake anyone I love. I will therefore, strongly suggest each and everyone of you who is still under the influence of this, to sacrifice a little bit of your dignity, and quit it as it has been proven from the day it was invented to not have any gain. Particularly of health, monetary costs, appearances, and most importantly through the love of those you will live your life with, there is another option. To give it up, we are older, the future is nearer now, you can still fix it. No one said it was easy, but once you stand firm on the opposed highly respected decision, a million of hands will reach out to you. That, I believe.

Dear Aunty Yun, Wen, Jude and Josh, I was once in your shoes, but it's not a better feeling to be in my shoe now either. I am empathatic and I know this would be the biggest impact in your life. Your dad chose what he chose, and God created all four of you provided with the biggest courage and strength to overcome this. Lungs Cancer brought him to God, and it's the instrument that can be toss aside. Quits of here and there from time to time, never became a succesfull one and eventually he admitted defeat to the addiction alas today. He lived a good life, with beautiful lady and three intelligent and remarkable kids by his side, which I shall no longer elaborate as we all know, he still wanted to see you all grow to better adults. I shall pray for him and all three of you. May his soul Rest In Peace.

My dear rabid readers, I'm sharing with you what I think about this, that I have yet to answer myself why in the first place God created such temptations in life for his people? Is it to test our strength and those with bigger steps, and bolder skins that there is such thing as No? Is it to eliminate the weaklings one by one by challenging them on this game of death? I lost someone I respect and love in Christ, because of this, tell me, why should I accept this kill?

Do not pick one ever in your life while you can, because you will never know when you'll be hooked to it, and you'll never know which of your loved ones will chose that over you. What you do today will definitely see you tomorrow. This air you chose, will be the same air you wish you hadn't indulged in. It's no longer just a post for me, it's something I commit to, the rest is up to you...

Love,
Jacqkie.

Friday, May 23, 2008

KK 2008

For those of you that knew about my Best Friends' visit to Sabah, here are the pics that I handpicked from Sway's photo-album to share with you guys.

Anyway, Sweets is not feeling very well since Tuesday. Apparently he got food poisoning right after KK. People would think that he got it from the 'ethnic tribal food' from Sabah that's supposed to be new for them KLpeople, but it wasn't, and we suspect it's the Pizza he ate last in Pizza Hut. Weird.

Double 6- Memorial
...you haven't met the real Superman, haven't you!
Audrey, Kerry, Calyn a.k.a Gangstar, Sweets, Sway and Chia Wen.
WITH The Master of All Chefs! :) Beh!
I really had to take this!
Calyn's kinda funny here

The Murut Dancers and the Gang
...and EVERYONE! :)

Love,
Jacqkie.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

is back

Sweets: So how's home (PJ)?
Me: Alone. *sigh*

I'm back to the other house. The quiet one. My best friends' visit to Sabah was awesome, if not tiring. I'm back now with at least three ulcers in my mouth that I know of, squeaky clean kitchen cabinet, and completely zero updates in my daily itinerary with not much ringgits left. I am stucked in this small house until the two lovelies come down. Pictures from Sabah will only be obtained after the two photographers upload them.

I have yet to apply for any work as mum and sister will be coming down to PJ soon, and we'll be heading down to Batu Pahat to visit the Dr this Friday. Other than that, mum finally met the infamous Daren and my KL best friends. For this, all I can say is WEEEE! My friends finally met the infamous Daren and KL best friends. My two lives collided and I'm happy to see everything went tiringly good.

Other than that, I am back to The Sims 2, where you control the computerized people's lives, in my assumption people do this because theirs' are rather controlled. Or of course, to create a new live you know you'd never in your trillion years you could possibly would have, for example 5,000 dollars worth of Television when you're working as a PickPocket. How realistic.

I bought my sister Big Apple Donuts the other day, and now I AM craving for it. *%^#@! I need some sleep, and to wake up in time for Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives. For now, it's back to The Sims 2 :)

Love,
Jacqkie.

Happy Belated Mother's Day!

To the woman who've shed every sweat, blood and tears in bringing us to where we are,
To the woman who embodies the ultimate kindness and care in the world that I adore,
To the woman who tutors me about life, and injects in me realitism for every decision I make,
To the woman who introduced me sufferings and what we are with or without it,
To the woman who believed in what I am able to do, and pushed me to what I can do,
To the woman who cared so much about her three- it's beautiful,
To the woman who let us learn about life the way we should- the hard but supported way,
I love you.



To the woman who gave us food on the table everyday,
To the woman who would knock all three doors at the same time every morning without fail,
To the woman who would ask us to represent ourselves at our best just because it's important for out future- not hers,
To the woman who gave us daily health tips as to show us that she's still there 'cause she practiced what she preached,
To the father, the accountant, the advisor, the gardener, the cook, the driver, the sewer, the cleaner, the teacher, the listener, the banker, the boss, the doctor, the nurse and the list just goes on. You're everything and more.

I bet you'd think I forgot about this, but no because I love you. You are right, Mothers are Angels in Training.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

I,





will be flying back to KK, Sabah tomorrow!



...This time, NOT ALONE!

*scratching the table omgomgomgomgomg excitedly*

Love,
Jacqkie.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

of last day and daren's day

I remember reaching KL 2 years ago, with world's biggest excitement and spirit in me. I've always wanted to study somewhere further than my hometown, reason being, to learn more about this part of the world that I belonged to but never get to know, widen my scope of friends, and definitely, pursuing what I love.

When I first saw Redzuan Condominium, I was of course in an alienated mode, noticing the different colours and races I get to live with. I had mixed feelings. I was scared, but mostly excited. The day I get to experience something like this, like in the movies, finally came. Mum blessed this head of mine, and told me to take care.

So I did.

My roomates were two other chinese girls who were very friendly and helpful to me. They get me familiarize with what campus life was like, and most importantly welcomed me. I was satisfied with my roomates. In time, I changed roomates after roomates, housemates after housemates, and realized, people usually... goes back to their comfort zone. They moved with someone they are closer with and I conformed to this. I moved with my cousins after a year staying in Redzuan.

You and I both know best what college is, was like. It was basically the fundamental of what life's about to offer, and more. The opportunities to choose, and most importantly decide. The opportunities that's given, and to take more opportunities in return. To all the juniors or anyone of you who’s studying now, please, please make sure you make your parents’ money worth. Gain something from college, useful experiences and most importantly wisdom. TAKE OPPORTUNITIES!

I met amazing people which I will remember of life, and also those who taught me what perseverance really is. People are like jigsaws, you can’t expect every piece to go with another piece. But you know, it has somewhat made an impact in your completed jigsaw.

Yesterday marked the completed Diploma in Communication (2006), for me and my classmates. In whatever path you choose in life, all the best. You guys were a huge impact in my life.

ON A DIFFERENT NOTE:

Whatever happened yesterday was not funny at all. And yes I am a 50 year old grandmother who cant take this kinda joke for nuts, and it's not even a joke, at all for me. If ya'll want to know what happen, click here, Sway blogged about it. I've always avoided watching TV programme with shows showing stunts like these; Video Zonkers, MaxEx, whatevertypeofshowthatscarestheshitoutof me, what more seeing it with my own eyes- that person I care and love the most falling on the ground- purpled. I was in a serious trauma after that, and that image of him looking helpless haunt me every second. I was shivering after that incident and I felt completely useless. I should have never let him do it. I'd give up anything not to see him hurt, anything.

Just put yourself in my shoe. Call me kan-cheong, drama queen, "not fun", and ask me to chill, I dont give shit, I really don't know how to put my feelings into words about this...

To all my KK friends, a bunch of rockstars and special someone a.k.a my bestfriends and *refer picture above* from college will come and rock KK! They will be staying at my place for about 2 weeks, so please welcome them with all the warmness and love Sabah can give them. You guys know best how to do it! Beh, Calyn, Kerry, Audrey, Sway and Baby: CANT WAIT!

Love,
Jacqkie

Saturday, May 03, 2008

I just dont care

"I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons, It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue" -Mraz, I'm Yours

I was in a complete fugly and broke mode, when my cousin called to go to TGIFs. I couldn't say no, because she wanted to hang out with me since so long 'cause I've been so busy, I decided to cancel my mamak plans, and went to the nearest Public Bank Instead.

I was always slightly prettier and maybe look richer than short pants, and a simple tee when I'm going TGIFs, because it's still a restaurant, you'd never know who you'd bump into, maybe your friends and whatnot, and you wouldn't want them to see you at your ____.


What one thing I realize, supposedly what love can do; is to make us feel completely comfortable with our own skin, or clothes for this matter. It wasn't weird, it was definitely understandable as in time, we tend to feel too casual or mafan, to look good all the time with or for someone we spend our days with everyday. Right?

Next thing you know, you're up and about with your completely flawed skin and body, covered with world's simplest clothes, next to the person you love. It's surreal. It's indescribably lovely.

Remember the complete opposite of you on your firsts dates, firsts snuggle, firsts 'occurences' or maybe even firsts 'I realize we hang out at the same placelah'. Yea, that was then, and you realized this known stranger of yours is already beginning to fill up your flawed confidence, he/ she too, was looking for comfort in one's soul.

Sweets and I have painted the town red with just casual pants and tees, which I find it as a symbolic of what the L word should be. And according to Mr Phillip, if you have the three, you could be on the right track; Intimacy, Passionate and Committment.

Which in this context, I'm guessing it's definitely closeness.

I would never dare putting on a remarkable RM29.90 short pants with a RM15.00 Project Phunk shirt to anywhere with a boyfriend, or friends, knowing the whole male population was on the loose at that time.

Not completely taking for granted the closeness I have with my boyrfriend and family, it keeps me reminded of there are days I should really look good, as it's for everyone's better- esp me. Throw some colours on my face and some 'feel good' clothes, it'll pile my confidence up again, once a while it makes everyone around me feel good too, and I bet you'd agree with me on this.

But now for most times, I feel damn good to say that;

short pants and tee-shirt, aint so bad afterall :)

Love,
Jacqkie.