Saturday, December 30, 2006

The year that was.

This year has been a rollercoaster ride for me, and i must admit that i'm not saying this for myself only,but for everyone else too for sure.

The Flashback:

January:
- I finished SPM about a month before, what do you expect? My partying life was just about to begin and let me tell you it has been awesome! I hang out a lot, party alot, clubbed alot, karaokeing alot, you name it all those recreations or whatever you call it i did it almost, nope, not every weekends, but almost everyday. Let's just say, i think i was kinda kebaruan with all the extra time i got after spm. Teheee!
- My infamous ex boyfriend went for PLKN. Well, i was pretty much inseparable with him for 10months until PLKN separated us. The painful breakup was pretty much expected by my friends and my sister (very much) and that's why they chose to be there for me instead of giving me advices or girl power talk. Thank You girls. ;)
- I started working! Hooray! and guess where? not any boutiques or small shops but McDonalds! Dear gosh, i became behind the scene girl and do alot of things that i could never
imagine doing it. Who would've thought? Even my mum thought i would not last a day, but naaah i lasted for almost 2months. Yeah! Being a McDonalds' crew isn't as glamourous as it looked like, i smelled like burgers, sexually harrasted, met awesome friends, met awful friends, pretended i like the customers eventhough i got yelled and screamed at and looked like crap when i'm so tired for almost 2months. ...Only God knows how i felt.

February:
- I was getting ready for college. Despite the fact that i was in science stream and knowing that everyone will ALWAYS look up on those "high-status" carriers like, doctors, chemist, bio-tech (whatever it is) or some marine-biologist (is it), i told my mum that it's not what i like and i'm not doing any of it. She was surprised with my honest confession and agreed to go with what I want. Thus i decided to take Public Relations in Taylor's College. Thanks mummy.

March:
- College. It was pretty much what i expected and more. I was homesick for about a month, especially when my sister calls me. It was awful. Slowly, i began to appreciate the unlimited freedom i have there and began to concentrate on my studies too.
- SPM results. Ouch! it wasnt that bad and it was not good either. I got 3A1s, 6Bs and 1 C5.
I know what you wanna ask, and it's Biology that i got C5. Surprisingly, i did well for Biology in my trial SPM but not in the real one? Well, cursing my heart out wont make me get C5 for Biology right?

April:
- College. And a scandal that i didn't tell anyone. It wasn't really a scandal, it was just suppose not to happen. He was so inlove with me and i lied to some people saying i'm not. But i was in a way. And hoping that he would be with me was awfully ridiculous. Not at that time though, it looked it was about to happen. but i manage to say No and get back to earth. I bet everyone has been a sucker at times like this, so please dont judge me.

May:
- I finished my very fast 2months semester and went back to KK for holiday. It was a bittersweet holiday. I couldnt elaborate more on what actually happend but what i can tell you he scared the hell out of me. He kinda abducted me and forced me to do things i didn't want to. I was petrified but i couldn't do anything because well, it's a really long story. All i can say is, i won't to talk to him anymore because he scared the hell out of me. I thought these things happen only in movies, however there i was experiencing the horror.
- My dating life began this holiday where i took the time to just chill with anyone that asked me out and maybe get to know them better. It was nice, and i met some really nice people. ;)

June:
- BANGKOK! Wohoo, it was so much fun! the language, the people, the food, the culture, the shopping malls, the prices, the markets, the girls, the other girls, the boys!, the transportation, the night life, the zoos, everything was just so awesome. I bought a lot of things from Bangkok because it's soooo cheap there, you can't help but be the ultimate shopper there. I'm serious! The transvestites (did i spell it correctly?) in my personal opinion are the 8th world wonders. They look 100x times better than some women (that includes me) and their spirit and drive to be what and who they want just amazes me. The acceptance of the transvestites in Thailand is unbelievably inspiring and so against my religion if you may ask, hehe. I do not what to say but wow.

July:
- end of holiday. College. again. This semester was really tough. I had to burn the midnight oil, concentrate real hard in class, take part in alot of things, attended some functions and stayed in library alot.

August:
- Nothing awesome. Just classes and alot of assignments. One of the sweetest project i've ever done was eyeDEA. It was an optical company (am i saying it the right way?) we built with a community project we had to do. We had to figure out the wheres,whens, whys, whos of this project. It was awesome. our marks. 27.5/30! *smiles* I felt like a profesional when presenting the project! well, just felt like it. hehe.

September:
- Genting. I had to temankan my cousins and friends to genting. Plus, i didnt want to miss out the fun. hehe. i skipped a class. don't worry i'm a nerdy when it comes to studies so i promise i'll try not to do it again. Hehe. Anyway, it was awesome. i dont wait for people when i go on those rides, and that's exactly what i did. i forced my cousins, but... well, you know. Negative response.

October:
- My awesome birthday. I was thinking to myself which cake i should buy for me to eat on my own (i'm afraid no one remembers it) when my room was ambushed by my housemates and roomates with a cake on their hand. I couldn't believe my eyes but somehow i thank them a million times and gave them the warmest hugs to show thanks. wow, people do remember and some people really do care about me eh? aawww.
- The next day, well the actual BIRTH-day. i didnt tell anyone and somehow some people remembered it and wished me personally. it was really sweet. we were about to finish a class when my friends sang me birthday song with a small bun and one candle on it. It was a surprise thingy and it was a very pleasent surprise indeed. It was so sweet, everyone was treating me like a baby that day, i need not to pay for my food, i got free transportation, free hugs!, free kisses!, free drinks.. everything. It was my first time ever celebrating birthday far from home, and it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. In fact, it wasn't bad at all. It was the sweetest! ;)
- Prom! My first ever college prom. It was a really fun night but stressful before the party began. We got lost, we had fights and we had to walk quite far with high heels and dress. Dang!

November:
- sem 2 ends. After ending the 2nd semester, it was as if like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulder. It was such a huge relief and i Thank God i ended it well. .
- Holiday!!! i dont wait for people to bring me out, i'll go look for fun myself. As a result? lots of parties, karaokes, meeting lots of new people (that i cannot remember their name, SORRY ;{) and sleepovers and lots and lots of hang outs. I went to Klang for the first time and had a great Bak Kut Teh. LOVE IT.
-Moving out. I have officially moved out from my Taylor's College's Hostel ; Redzuan Condominium. I decided to stay with my cousins despite the fact that it's farther from college than Redzuan. is because i get to save more money ( i go to my cousin's place for weekend mass) every week and it's more of a home to me, eventhough redzuan is just 3minutes away from Sunway. uhu.

December:
- Parties/ Clubs- Need i say more?

- Results. 3As and 2Bs. GPA 3.6.
- THE BIGGEST SECRET EVER, REVEALED!!! it was the most shocking most unbelievable most craziest most are-you-for-real secret ever!! i don't know how to handle it, and it is true that you can change your attitude towards a person/thing when you know something about them. and i'm trying not to be like that. Unbelievable. that's all i have to say.
-more dates, how can you say no to them? :)




its as if only 20% of what really happend this year in my life is in this post. The rest of it? Let's
just say MOST things are better left unsaid. ;)

love,
Jacqkie

Thursday, December 28, 2006

My mum bought a new scanner/ printer/ photocopier last month thus i decided to test it today. Well, since most of the pictures from my photo albums in home were back when digital cams were not yet invented, i decided to choose these gorgeoous memorable old pictures for your viewing.
Me and Abang enjoying the sea of Pulau Manukan!
You cannot blame me for the pose, i was a kid!
First day of Kindergarten.
I've been a smiling machine ever since i was born. *giggles*

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Someone's going to get hurt...

Why did i ever came across with the sweetest most nicest guy ever while i'm in KK? i know someone's going to get hurt, if it's not me then it's definitely going to be him.

I was hoping this holiday i wouldn't meet anyone nice and most importantly someone I'm attracted to. Somehow, it happened. He popped into my life just like that, without no warning no nothing.

he makes me feel special, he makes me smile, he makes me laugh, he makes me shy and he makes me like him more and more each day everytime i talk to him. I get all nervous when i talk to him on the phone, and my sister knows best- when i'm smiling and blushing on the phone(which is rare) i definitely has the hots for the caller.

Surprisingly, not any of these had happen to me for the whole of this year while i was in KL.

I've had only one major crush this year and even that- has no positive progress.


but can you imagine someone i noticed, noticed me too among others? who is willing to waste so much credit and time to get to know me? someone who's very humble that it makes me feel nice and simple when i talk to him? someone who's so caring that if there's a day he didn't call me, i would feel something's wrong? someone who's just there, all the time especially when i need a company? someone who has the kindest and most generous smile? someone who thinks i'm pretty without my any makeup? hihi.

His existence could be a wonderful thing or a painful experience.

And it's up to me to decide which one i want.


but who am i kidding, long distance relationships had never worked for me, and what makes me think that this one will? *sigh*


very Sad,
Jacqkie.

Monday, December 25, 2006



Love,
jacqkie.
Today's christmas and i've been pretty much loving the love i've got from all the people around me. I must say, not spending christmas with my brother is rather quite sad though. My christmas would be absolutely perfect if he's around. Nevertheless, this christmas is just as beautiful as i've wished it to be. I get to hang around with my family especially with my sister, i get to eat home cook meals (especially my mum's spaghetti) and catched up with all of my friends whom i stumbled upon in church.

"So this is Christmas, and what have you done?
...A year has gone by, a new one has just begun.
Have a merry little christmas, i hope you have fun.. "
- Yoko Ono & John Lennon.


With simple lyrics, i find this song very meaningful. It made me realize that i had done my best for this whole year and hopefully i can do better in the coming year. Regretting things are pointless and a waste of time but learning from it is beautiful and humbling.

To be honest, i never really had any christmas wish list. Everything that's been given to me be it weird, ugly or even very expensive i'll love it very-very much as the thought that only matters to me. * before you puke, no, i really mean it*
I've always thought and knew that my brother is an angel. I personally think that he's everyone around him's angel. I guess i never was really proved right until last christmas.

**He reached KK international Airport carrying a few plastic bags. I was curious and asked him what's inside all these bags.. with a smile he said " presents for me, from my friends."

I went jawdropped for a few seconds as i realized that there was so many presents!! So many. I could only be amazed at the wrappings, the size of the presents, the cards, everything..

As soon as we reached home, he placed all the presents around the xmas tree.

I know it's a bit lame of me to do this, but i counted the xmas presents he got, and it was almost 30 if i'm not mistaken. I was shocked, pleased and proud at the same time.
Some were handmade, some gorgeous and some i can tell very expensive.

I knew that my brother has been a very wonderful friend to all of these people, because then it explains all the wonderful presents and christmas cards he got. He was delighted i can tell and he even told me stories on why he got presents from this particular people and it was very inspiring.

My christmas has definitely been about enjoying the time with my family.
Regardless of how much time we had left, or where we've been the whole year, or what we've been doing, it's about coming back to where you came from and remembering the things you have done for other people old and new and share it with your family.

It's about celebrating the achievements you've achieved with the ones who've been there pushing you to where you are now and giving them a happy christmas just as much as they hoped the same thing from you.
It's about forgetting what you want and give your loved ones what they wished instead.

It's about loving your loved ones and be loved in return, and be thankful -if you haven't for the whole year.
..And family doesn't really mean your real moms and dads. Some kids are not as fortunate as me to have a great family, be it the people who loved you. That's family.

Have a Merry Christmas friends!

Love,
Jacqkie.

Mummy!

Jessie showing off one of her presents from our cousin!

*too bad i took only two pics..*

Saturday, December 23, 2006

if i could turn back time, i would go back to this afternoon. that very specific moment.

I made great friends with this one kid. I love her so much and so did she. everytime i meet her up she'll definitely have lots of things to tell me, she'll drag me everywhere and even advise me on some things in life. I must say, she's an intelligent, sweet and kind-hearted young girl.

I guess it has been a year or so since i last saw her.

I missed her so much, and knowing that she has family problems now wont make it any easier for us to meet up. I did cry once when i knew about her family problem, because it broke my heart to know that such young bright girl like her had to go through all that. I promised myself that if i ever would meet her up, i would hug her as hard as i can and talk to her like we always do.

** I was walking down the stairs, when i saw her sister was walking while talking to another girl. I stopped in front of everyone, and my eyes wandered around looking around them if my young friend was there,...and there she was walking with a smile on her face( she has a VERY beautiful smile, no kidding) while talking to her sis.

My heart tells me to run and grab her but my mind says, later.. she's spending time with her sis.

i decided to tegur her later after she's had her lunch as i saw her going towards a restaurant, and it was a stupid stupid decision i made.

after a couple of minutes, i went back to the restaurant, and went nuts when i saw she was no longer there. i forced myself to control from bursting into tears and decided to stay at one place, just in case we would come across each other again.

But, we didn't.

I waited for her for one hour, walking around, looking everywhere but still, there was no sign of her.. not even her sis and the other girl.

i couldn't help but blame myself for the waiting, and i didn't want to leave the spot as i'm afraid she might pass by there as soon as i leave, ..so many thoughts running through my mind...

eventually i left the place when my mum called me to meet her up and it's time to go home.
i was really dissapointed. i was still searching for her though on the way to meet up with my mum, i didn't wana give up. there's still chance for me to meet her again..

All i wanted was to know how she's doing, to see her smile again, to make her laugh again and if possible to get a hug from her.
It would mean the world to me.. unfortunately i only get few seconds glimpse of her.

I don't know if she'll still remember me when she has already grown up but my only hope is that she will still do remember me..and keep our friendship.


Hoping,
jacqkie.

Friday, December 22, 2006


christmas presents anyone?

My family has this christmas tradition whereby each of us have to buy presents for each other, better if we use our own money.

That means i must buy 3 presents; one for mummy, one for sisy and one for abang. We'd open our christmas presents after the christmas eve mass (that usually ends after 12am or exactly at 12am) with muffins, cakes, biscuits and hot drinks to keep us awake. And every year i have trouble looking for presents for mum and abang.


Why? because they want expensive, creative and useful things to them. They don't demand it of course, it's just there in their expression, you know?


My sister on the other hand would either pretend she loved her presents or smile sympathetically at the gifts but thank us endlessly later. one other reason why i love her sooo much..


Just like every year, me and my sister would help each other to figure out what to buy for mum.

We list down all the possible gifts (useful, creative or expensive items of course) we would want to give to mum.. same this year.


the list for this year:

a) Mousse- Need i say more?

b) Selendang- she burned one of her's the other day.

c) The face mask; the jerebu one? - My mum talks alot. ..what? it's creative and VERY useful to us. *giggles* it was really on the list though.

d) Pantyhose- her favourite thing to buy when she goes out. you know, for collection?

e) Hair dryer- i believe one of use could get electrocuted someday because of our current hair dryer. It's old and coverless. daym!

f) Sugar free chocolates- it's sugar free!

g) Home slippers- she bought her own every year.. awww.


*hahahahahahahaha*


After careful thought, we decided to buy her the selendang and the hair dryer.

very beautiful selendang and a very cool (with multiple functions) hair dryer.


see,

we do love her, so very very much. ;)


Love,

Jacqkie.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Jessie on the Left, Ingrid on the right.
Me on the Left, Jessie on the right. i LOVE this slide!
L-R: Stephie, Ingrid and Me.
( Notice that Stephie dares to show some skin! and the other two......
...well we have more flesh la katakan) haha!

Somehow, this pic looks really lame, but we're just lovin the pool man!
p/s: it's as if Jessie didn't want to take pic with me. ;P

Mind the leg and my squinting eyes.. ergh, the other two look gorgeous though.
Check out the Red Shirt! Gembiranyaa...?
..i guess they're happy? ;) haha.



*yawns* I'm So tired.



Wednesday, December 20, 2006

can u make friends with a stranger?
...what ever it is, I did.

i personally believe that it is very much impossible to make friends with a stranger. Or at least i thought he was...

An unknown number called me the other day looking for Reni (or anything that sounds like this name), and i laughed at him saying "Salah nombor". After the call, he messaged me saying that he was so sorry of the mistake he made and even mention "God Bless and Take Care".
Usually, i would not reply messages from any random guy like this case, but somehow, i did.

One SMS lead to another, and i realize there was kindness and sweetness in his messages. I told wen and ingrid about it and they told me something which i thought was very true...

"Duh, everyone will be very nice in SMS, plus, i bet someone's playing a prank on you girl".

i know they were right.

That's exactly why i stopped talking to the stranger. Everytime he calls me, i would not pick up his calls and i even lied to him that i don't have anymore credit to reply him. Which is quite ridiculous because even his calls i did not answer.

There's obviously no good explanation to that except for "i really don't want to talk to you-so please stop calling" right?

... i feel really really bad.

But then, he is a stranger for goodness sake so why should i feel bad? For all we know he might be a rapist, a killer or some psycho (dear God, please forgive me for judging people) right?

i know i can never really make friends with any stranger, that's why i feel like he isn't a stranger after all?
It's as if someone(him) i knew was trying to play me around using his "experience" with me.
...or maybe i'm just being too much here?



What i'm trying to say is, where's that line between a stranger and a non stranger? and how do you know and identify? it's ambiguous to me.

p/s: anyone of you that knows this guy or you are that guy that plays the prank on me, admit it!

i wont hurt u...

i'll just kill u fast. ;)

Love,
jacqkie..

Sunday, December 17, 2006

My friends are the best, look at them, they can eat all the food me and ingrid prepared!


L-R : Michelle, Yen Ling, Nadiah I, Nadia Y and Ingrid. * where are the rest?*
This is my so-called MTV room, it's my favourite place to lepak with my friends and cousins.
Everything happens here. ...herm, that doesnt sound right.
I just realized the people in two of the pics i posted are the same! haha.
Where are my other friends when i took the pictures? Daym!

-Where can i ever get friends that eat the way they eat and laze the way they laze?

Thank God for them!

Love,

Jacqkie.



My house's christmas tree! My sister and I decorated it, though it wasn't that easy because the tree was the hard-plastic type. We had to use some special xmas decos.
Nevertheless, putting it up with my sis was absolutely what i've wished for!
* despite the fact that we had arguments all the way while decorating it*
The result is beautiful to us, because, somehow, we did it together.

This is one of my favourite deco in my house. It's actually the baby Jesus' crib. i've got a big house, with expensive furnitures and lots and lots of decorations, but still, this small crib is my favourite of all. It makes me smile everytime i see it.


Friday, December 15, 2006

Not one more akwardness.. please!

i thought he could be a good new friend. you know just a good friend, until.. i found out about the feelings and i guess ya'll know what i mean..

After today, i could not look at him straight in the eyes, because the akwardness is just too much..
i cant really speak to him, i cant really laugh when i'm around him, after last night, i told jessie that something is just weird about him.. or maybe just towards me?

And as usual my sister would say, " Jangan perasan bah Kie! Eish. "

And as usual i would say, " Yala-yala."

but no, i was right.
My sister was grossed out for a moment just now, when she knew about it and told me she would do anything (as much as she couldla) so that i wont feel akward around him anymore..

First of all, yes i do feel really bad for doing this to him, we were good friends before and when i knew he had other plans for us, i thought it would be better for us, or maybe me(just me) if i dont be too close too him anymore. You know, like pulling myself away from him, slowly...?

Shit. I feel bad. i do!

Most guys would prefer girls to be straight forward to them, and tell them they wouldnt have the chance at all, but trust me, it's REALLY hard to do that!!!!!

Note for the day, I can't be the mean-straight-forward-honest girl when it comes boys. and no girl should be... ( exception for relationships and so-called serious attachments).


Hate me if you must, but i couldn't do anything about it. *sighs*


p/s: remember the guy i said super cute in church? well, guess what? He's now in a TV show!!

Love,
Jacqkie.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The last time I had a good swim probably was about a year ago. Man, I miss pool water sooo much! Today was just soooo awesome, including the fact that I rode the slides.

And yes, if you have really known me, it’s not that surprising to know that I’m the naughty little daredevil that likes to ride all crazy rides and in this case those dangerous, sloppy, curvy slides in the group. Yes, pelik but benar.

Those who joined in today; Bayen, Ika, Arthur, Dodo, Ingrid, Rowena and honey, Ernest and later Leander and honey and Jude.

I got sunburned, although it wasn’t really that bad, considering we were in the pool since 12pm. (I chose the time though. And yes, I do know who actually would want to swim at 12pm right?) Super sorry people!

I must say I’s rather impressed with myself that I managed to convince Ingrid (believe me, she’s a tough one) to go on those slides...

Me: Ingrid, cepatlah naik, teda papa tuh!
Ingrid: Tida mau! Sia takut bah! Nanti teda orang sambut!
Me: ada tuh, jangan ko risau, best bah tu slide Ingrid!
Ingrid: Tida mau! Tida mau!
Me: Okay, nanti ko menyesal lepas ko balik macam mana? At least ko ada try kan?
Ingrid: *considering- while putting one leg in*
Me: Cepatlah, sia suru dorang sambut. (Although I know no one’s gonna sambut her down there). Nanti ko menyesal tuh. Tengok, sia tida mati pun kan?
Ingrid: herm, okayla… *on the slide... *

I was looking for Ingrid wanting to know how her slide ride was… when I saw she has already went up to the stairs to go for another slide ride.


* Laughing to myself- ...I think I just got my answer! *




Note for the day, try people! Try!

Love,
Jacqkie

Wednesday, December 06, 2006


i'm so in the mood for christmas!
To all the xmas "grinchs", meet me up...
and i'll give u a LONG lecture on why we should love xmas!
* haha!*
it was quite boring last night. I met new people. As we all know, it is extremely hard to remember people's name when they are introduced to you especially if u are in a bar or pub. (except, if they are good lookingla).

I had a couple of drinks and nah, it didn't really put me in any mood or anything.
I was enjoying the music and the funny crowd though.
I was impressed by this one guy, i think he's a tourist, he danced and workin it out without the slightest bit of shame! He went for the robot moves, the Moon walk.. etc etc *salutes*

Unfortunately, he wasn't that lucky enough to be able to attract girls to dance with him.
All of the girls turned him down.
* Tahan ketawa*


Anyhoo,
i enjoyed the after-club/party. we had drinks in Foh Sang and this guy (drunk, of course) killed me with his unconcious words/ jokes/songs. *giggles*

The guy: (with an English slang) ermm what is this? This is not a table this a plastic table ey..
Referring to the table that is extremely flexible. it makes me wonder too.
**

The guy: ..*singing Elvis' song*

**

The guy: ..i want to kencing in the parit.. can i?
One of us: Don't bah. so embarassing. they don't even understand u..
The guy: ...aku mau kancing di parit.. buli bahkan.. tida kana saman kaitu..



Man, it feels so good to be home.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006



I finished the book Exes Anonymous by Lauren Henderson in a week. (Image on Top) If I must rate it, I would rate it 3/5 stars. I have a feeling the book is made for 15 year olds (darn it) because the use of English in this book was rather simple and the description was not vivid enough. The sexs and conflicts scenes were left to the reader’s imagination. No stimulating languages. ...What?

Fortunately, the story line and the plot of this book are rather quite interesting. I didn’t say it was on top of the world interesting, I just find it quite interesting. You know donut interesting.

A story about a girl who’s been dumped by her so-called love of her life. After the break-up, she basically could not think about anything else, but her ex and their wonderful memories. Not days not weeks but for months!!!!


*To all my girlfriends reading this, don’t be like this. Seek help.


The book shows and explain how ugly and awful it looks like to be addicted to your ex. It's as if like you don't have a life. * i second that*

I find it so stupid of her to get stuck in that position, to get addicted to her ex that much for so long. I just couldn’t understand why she would let herself be drowned in her pool of tears knowing that it’s impossible she would get back with her ex. It’s foolish.

After reading the book, slowly I realized that I was once stuck in that position. Man, it reminded me how awful it felt.

It was not after the relationship, it was during it and it was much more deadly. Realizing that I was once addicted to my ex and hoping a lot from him and became too dependent on him disgusted me. Shit! The addiction wasn’t as long as few months, it was just for weeks and I believed that I realized it was sort of feeling-kind-of-quick-sand and I finally have outgrown from it.

I thank God that I did not hit rock bottom that’s why when I broke up I find it quite easy to bounce back and felt at ease to go out with anyone again. It was as if I knew about this book before I even read it. I did not want to be like Rebecca hell no, I never wanted to be the one controlled, attached and manipulated in the relationship. Never.

Okay, so I admitted I was once addicted to my ex but that does not mean I can not live without them during that time, it was just those thoughts of whether they were thinking of me, what they are doing and everything about them was in my head every single second. I wasn’t thinking about myself at that time, I was thinking about him only. I can live, but with him in mind.

After reading the book, I realized too I am a very strong person. Stronger than the girl in this book. Rebecca. I knew that I was addicted to my ex, I wasn’t in denial and I find ways. I hang with people to occupy myself and to stop myself from thinking about my ex every second-everyday. And it was blissfully brilliant of me. I get out from my addiction without anyone ever knowing I was in one. Phew!

Now, I realize I’m stronger than any man I’ve ever met. No one could melt me as much as I could. I totally understand it. If I would fall in love, it is because I let it happen, not anyone else. If I would say no, it would mean no. if I would say yes it should mean yes.

But then again,

Love is so unpredictable that sometimes I don’t understand what I’m doing, for what and how it happened. Sometimes I just got to follow the flow, and it kills me if it doesn’t go my way. I wish a nice guy would just pop in my life without me worrying and thinking too much. Oh dear, this book has definitely made me thinking.
Damn!

Love,

Jacqkie.

Monday, November 27, 2006

DATE: 25th November 2006

Shit, he’s got a girlfriend for goodness sake. Why are all boys like these?
I’ve never even flirted with him. Not even a wink or even anything personal and private, nothing! Why?

Deep down I knew he had something for me and it was very obvious. He was the mastermind for all the meetings and he knew exactly what to say to me. I saw him kept looking at me. Maybe I’m perasan, but if you were in my shoe you would feel the same thing. I hope it’s nothing scary. If not, he’ll break too many hearts and trusts. And I don’t want to be the reason for it.


Worried,
Jacqkie.
DATE: 23rd november 2006.


Stranger: erm excuse me, are you from around here?
Me: yah?
Stranger: So you’re staying here?
Me: yah. PJ.
Stranger: Ooh okay, do you mind if I ask for your phone number?
Me: erm, I don’t give numbers to strangers. Sorry.
Stranger: take mine then?
Me: err ok?
Stranger: 013… (bla-bla-bla, didn’t heard him properly) My name is Nasrul.
Me: okay…?
Stranger: what’s yours?
Me: Rowena. (gotta lie man)
Stranger: okay then. I really hope you would call me. *smiles*


Me tahan wanna laugh looked at Lovelle.
Seconds later we burst out laughing!
Oh my Gosh, you were so right. That guy so likes you. She said.
I laughed; I didn’t even press the right number. Berhambur I keyed in. Hahah!


Bell: Does he really think we would call him? Gross.
DATE: 20TH NOVEMBER 2006

Made new two friends today. Dinesh and Jerome. Apparently he was in Malaysian Idol second season. Hmm my bad for not watching it.

Met Aaron John some more. My online buddy. See, I knew he would be a nice guy. I knew he would be trustable.

We lepak in Chillis and talked and talked and boy were they talkative. They kept talking about church (surprisingly) up until high schools stuffs. Herm, I must be a damn good listener huh?

Well, first of all I’m so thankful they send me back home and even belanja me the Margarita. Damn nice man! I LOVE MARGARITAS! Hehe.


All in all, it was a nice outing and meeting up with these new fellas. I enjoyed it.

12.45 AM… to bed! Early huh?
DATE: 19November20006


7.30AM
Abang woke me up.
“woi bangun, let’s do this almari.”
Half awake I said no. Wide awake he said “woi ya.”

So I forced myself to wake up, wash my face and brush my teeth and looked at the huge box.

Shit. I wish Carrefour had assembled this thing for us. And it wouldn’t be a fuss for us. But then again, it’s Carrefour. Herm. Thank God my brother’s here.

“Okay... we can do this!”
abang got a grin on his face.

9.15AM
We’re almost there… only this few screws! Abang said. Yes, abang can be very enthusiastic sometimes.

9.45AM
Done. Shit. So many screws left? Abang asked.
Yahhh. So? Tutup mata tutup telinga sajala. Fixed oredi this thing. *complaining*

Herm. Okayla. Abang said.
Phew, manage to convince abang. In usual cases we would have probably open the whole thing and re do it. He’s a perfectionist. Bear my pain for all these years.
Anyway... went to church after that and meet up with carol.

5.25PM
“Hey sway!”
“Hey jacqkie!”


We took the train and waited and waited until we reached the Klang Station.
It took us 45 minutes to reach there. Herm. Tired I think to myself.

7PM
*my stomach growling*

8.15PM
“Okay, let’s go and eat.”
Ate at the Modern Restoran which was a mamak restoran. Ohhh, the Nasi Goreng Kampung Pattaya is soooo sedap... Herm.
We chatted about a lot of stuff. Herm. Talking about boys (as usual), girlfights, and more fights. Then Syafiq came.

11PM…
Tired la.

1AM
ZZzZzzZZzZZzzZz ( Bop! A bantal hit me)
Woi bangun Jacqkie, u cannot sleep that early!
Look around. Went back to sleep.

3AM
Woke up. Decided to join them talking about stuffs.
Surprisingly, we talked about religion. Thank God all of them are not devout Christians or Buddhists. We got to talk about Christianity and other religion freely.

6AM..
Okay, let’s sleep.

10AM
Woke up. Herm, had to go and meet up with carol to give her Baby Bop. In real world I would have already called it Stupid Thingy. Because, because of that thing I had to go back and forth from Klang to Setia Jaya JUST to give carol the toy. Oh my gosh.
Thank God Audrey was with me.

1PM
Reached Klang Station. It was like 2hours ++ we were in the train. Herm..
Went for Bak Kut Teh.

I LOVE BAK KUT TEH!!!!!!!!!!

…after that we went for bowling. And then go back home. And then meet up with Cilla and Jenny in Sentral. My Body… hurts!


In conclusion, I LOVE KLANG!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Hugh Jackman as Roddy. And Kate Winslet as Rita.
And those Pacats are so cuuuutee!!

Another funny scene.

These 2 are the kononya gangster in the movie..... NOT.

the big fella is cute and got pink eyeballs (WTF?) and that small dude is oh well.. stupid.

That huge toad is the Boss of this Toad Group (or whatever it is) and apparently holds a grude in all the mouse there( Britain/ Kensington Place).

Watched it. Loved it.

You should too. ;)


Best movie this year would definitely go to Flushed Away.
For your information, i am a huge fan of 3D works animation!! Especially their work Shrek! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!

so here goes, i know some people would get really fed up with all the "cartoon movies" that were released these year. So banyak right? That's why i chose certain 3D animation movies to watch only and flushed away is MY FAVOURITE this year on top everything!!!


Lovin Flushed Away,

Jacqkie.

Friday, November 17, 2006

What happened to kci& jojo, az yet, Boyz 2 men and all those soulful rhythm and blues ( Seriously RHYTHM and BLUES bands )?
i miss them so much and i want them to come back!!!

....Their voices are delicacies for the ear! *ahhhh*
...Lyrics that comforts the soul!

..And videos that touches your heart!

i hate the way rnb is portrayed now. it has the same old songs and i can only see girls shaking their you-know-what in their videos instead of good music. *sob sob sob*

the singers nowadays dah lah cant sing and some wear skimpy clothes and have sucky lyrics.

buang duit betul..

I want the original RNB (old school style) back!!!!! So bad!!!!!!!






Loving The old-school RNB style,
Jacqkie.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

okay, remember the guy i told you that wants my phone number?

Here goes,

MSG: " hey, awak Sarah ke? "

Obviously it's that secret recipe guy due to the lie i told him that my name is Sarah. Phew~
I didn't wana be so mean, but now i kinda have to.
I dont like him and i dont want to entertain him! ( i know, i know, I shouldn't have given him my phone number in the first place huh? erm, so stupid of me.

But whatever. you don't understand how the waitress kept pressuring me!!!

Move on, he called me today. Feeling not guilty at all... i silenced my phone and just stare at the phone screen..

" SECRET RECIPE GUY CALLING"
kept looking at the phone's screen...until he stopped calling.
Pleased, i close flipped my handphone.
I shouldn't have given my phone number. It was a mistake.
But i always do that, over and over again. NOOOOOO!! i'm giving hopes.. i'm awfulla.
before you stereotype me with other girls, trust me... all girl/ boy does that ok?
it's just no one admits it. * makes sad face* .
***i felt really awful for my bcs today. I don't know how i did it. I wanted to get A or A- atleast... but after that practical exam ( i hate you so much) i don't think i'll As it. shit.
*tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock* One more paper to go!!!!!!!!
Love,
Jacqkie!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Headline for today:
I HAVE A SCARY STALKER AND A GUY ASKED FOR MY NUMBER!

Okay, i thought today was just going to be that ordinary day where i go to college, finish with my paper, stay in the library and go back home straight away. Oh ya, not to mention i was suppose to go out to watch movie with Carol dahling.

So, as soon as i reached Redzuan Condo, i naik straight away the lift and inside the lift was 5other people.
reached level 6- my place. Then i keluar, a guy followed me.
I was wondering, what the heck? i have never seen this guy around before. Herm..
I keep walking, and i realized he was following me! i walked faster.. and faster and i straight away open the grill door and wanted to run.. until he said something;

STALKER: hey adik, mana blok b yer?
ME: errr... blok purple?
STALKER: ohh.. (smiling ) boleh berkenalan tak. (walking towards my house grill )
saje nak berkenalan. Boleh tak?
ME: hah? ohh.. ok?
STALKER: erm, ape name awak? saje nak tau? Boleh friends? You look familiar?
Are you studying in Taylor's College?
ME: erm ya.
STALKER: what course ah?
ME: ... (hesitating) mass comm. Kenape?
STALKER: Oh no wonder. You look familiar. My name is Gary. Yours?
( inserting his hand into the grill's hole)
ME: jacqkie..
STALKER: ...so i nak berkawan dengan u. but macam mane nak berkawan yer?
You remind me of my friend. Can i have your number?
(his handphone is Motorola V3 by the way. daym! )
ME: no. sorry. i don't give my numbers to people i dont know. oklah, i nak masuk rumah dulu.
STALKER: alar.. please. (begging me while shaking the grill)
ME: (thinking) shit. what i have got myself into..
STALKER: please..
ME: sorry. I dah ade boyfriend, nanti dia marah. ( LIE)
STALKER: ohh.. yeke.. tapi nak kawan saje. ehh.. tak kena tangkap khalwat ke?
Tangkap basah ke? ( grinning, smiling a really gross perveted smile!!!!)
ME: (thinking) what the hell is wrong with this guy.
Takdela. Okayla saye pergi dulu. Bye.
STALKER: ...tapi nak kawan je. Lain kali saye tunggu kat depan rumah awak.
ME: (thinking) shit. shit. shit. shit. shit. shit. i Opened the door, and closed it.

As soon as i step in to my house i was so disgusted at that guy and so phobia to go out already....

scared. This is one disadvantage of staying in condominium!

So.. move on. My fear and grossness fading away.

went to watch flushed away. and yes i LOVE IT!!!! i rate it 5stars! i love it so much.
I knew Dreamworks will always do great job.

Anyway.. before that.
I went to Secret Recipe. So eating and enjoying the cake la.
After that.. we asked for the bill. And then the waitress was like...

Waitress: Kak, sorry yer. Ade orang nak minta phone number awak.
Me: errrr... (laughing)
Waitress: hehe. Please. dia ade tuh. kat dalam. dia baik kak. jangan la risau eh.
Me: errrrr...
Carol: (laughing) are you sure? hahahahahaha.
Voice at the back : budak tu tak hensem pon! hahahaha.
Waitress: please? yer kak?
Me: herm... jangan bagi number i kat sape2 okay?
*jotted down my real number but put down my name Sarah*
*thinking shit, this girl is pressuring me.
But i wont layan a guy who'll be looking for Sarah*
Carol : herm.. it's your lucky night.
Me: that was so embarassing.
Carol: mari kite jalan Sarah. * laughing*
Me: shit. let's go. I'm never coming to Secret Recipe again!

Last but not least for the night..
ICE BLENDED ORIGINAL MOCHA!!!!!
i love you ice blended so much!

ps; the coffee bean guy is so friendly. He said we looked very familiar and when we tell him we're from Sabah he went jawdrop. Obviously, that is only his pick up line.

Where i thought, hey it works! i might try it someday.. Haha!

Tired,
Jacqkie.

Monday, November 13, 2006

i'm sorry people, but i just don't like it when you are being sarcastic to me about my studies, the way i study or the way i think of my studies.

i am very studious but that does not mean i'm not human.
i party and think like other normal people too. just maybe not like you.

so what if i take my study seriously or intensely? so what if i know more than you?
so what if i know nothing about that and why am i suppose to know everything you know?

i find it very irritating when people tease me about my results or expect anything from me.
just please, shut up and care about your studies and not mine!
(except for if i'm missing classes and failing like shit, i understand if u wana know).

i find it very irritating when people tease me the way i study. i find it very irritating when people tease you of things you don't know or you're suppose to be really good at.

i don't get it. it's my prerogative on how i see my studies, life, boys and people.

if i have done nothing wrong to you.. then all i'm asking is just not to care about how i look at my life.

i didn't judge the way you look at ur life (unless i tell you personally not infront of everyone),
can you give me some slack please?

jacqkie.
the huge success after managing games booths! wohoo!

I could not help it but flash-backing all the sweet memories in school especially when in Leo Club.
i was a bit skeptical to work with my close friends in Leo Club. But boy was i so glad that they were my comittee after all that. i couldn't say much on how much i love them and how proud am i of them. Because of them, we won 7 awards in the Leo Forum. i love them so much!
ps; to those who know what Leo Forum is, good for you. ;)

Those times when we had to struggle between studies and leo activities.
Those times when we had to break away from our shell and be brave for the day.
Those times when we had to brainstorm what to sell, what to do and what to say.
Those times when we had to meet up with people we don't even know and be proffesionals for a day.
I'm so proud of them! president and members are equal at that time.. i'm so glad.

therefore! ...we all decided to make a ....
STEAMBOAT PARTY AT MY HOUSE ON THE 5TH OF DECEMBER 2006 ;
TO ALL MY EX-CLASSMATES YOU'RE INVITED& friends of friend's !
BRING WHAT EVER IT IS YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BRING! ;)
from noon to whenever everyone is feeling of going back home, hehe...
and yes, you can also sleepover at my place. i must know you though. haha.





please call or msg me first before coming. hehe.
Love ya'll!
jacqkie.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Sunday.

a Very BORING, sunday!

If you all must know, i woke up today with a guilt. A guilt of not studying thoroughly. Unlike what my friends say (Jacqkie study gila rajin oooo), i still am not satisfied.

Here i am after going to Pyramid just now, feeling bored and looking at the book feeling yucked out, after so much of CTR reading.

-I miss my sister.

-I wana throw up.
-I have a cool hair colour.
-I wana drive.
-I hate studying.
-i wana go to the beach.
-I want to be carefree!
-i want sunglasses.
-I want more money.
-I wana surf the net.
-I wana sleep.
-I want that guy i like!

Exactly now, these are all my thoughts. How boring and
pointless is that?
...Because, i wont be able to do all that. or get all that.


Ohya, my mum got offered something (a convention in New Delhi, India) but she refused because she said she wants to spend her time with us.. awww so sweet. *smiles*

BORING. cant wait till final is over and i'm gona hang out at carol's place, not sleep, just talk about life and boys and kk. YEAH!! cant wait to go back to kk!!!


I MISS YOU JESSSYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
and my mum's mango pudding!
that jelly just now, suck big time. *make choked sounds*

Thursday, November 09, 2006

COVER GIRL STUPID SEARCH!!! oh ya finals.

well yesterday was rather tiring. Very tiring i must say.

Well here it goes,
me and my friends were eating our lunch when this really cute girl with brown hazel eyes approached us. She was talking about a cover girl competition and no, it's no for pretty girls only. it's for everyone! So as she was convincing us, we also were convincing each other that let's just try this thing and have fun! So... yes we agreed to join in the competition. Ergh...

First shot: With glasses. And without makeup. (apparently this picture will make you look ugly or something like that) before and after kinda thingy.

Second Shot: with heavy makeup and without glasses. (prettier?)

The girl was explaining the whole thing to us as if it was as easy as 1 2 3.
There is a catch, if you all must know.
The make up actually took us 3 hours!!!l For everyone of us to get done, it took us 3 freaking hours. I knew it was too good to be true!
We were there in the rain, in the sunny hours, we waited.... and waited. Until each and everyone of us had our photo shoot.

Who joined? Me, Sway, Karen, Kerry, Denise, and Audrey!
Six girl for makeup for 3 hours??? How nonsense is that??!

After the whole thing, we went up to library and decided to start on our discussion.
After the whole thing i was so tired i couldn't even stay awake that long.
Reached carol's place, flipped few pages then.... i fell asleep.

What a day! Although it was so tiring.. i'm glad i entered the competition.
Hey, it's a money can't buy experience! that's for sure.
Win or lose (obviously i'm gonna lose) is not the matter anymore.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I HATE CTR!!

for those who do not know what ctr is, it is Communication Theory and Research.
Adoi, thinking about the subject already give me a headachela!

Today i forced my to brain work/ study for the most annoying subject.
Oh My Gosh!

There are so many theories, philosphies and information i had to understand and memorize.
Cant wait to get it done with!

After next week, i'll have a blast, and relax, and pamper myself!!! wohoo!

Okay today was i must say it was very tiring. Except for Dunkin Donuts!! YUMMMY!
I got a headache from studying ctr and i am quite worried that, after all the hardwork( kononla)
nothing comes in to my brain. Darn! You Stupid subject!

As for Carol, my lovely friend, i am so proud for her because she studied more than one page today. Hooray! *laughs*

-I have a crisis though, should i go to Cherating on the 24-27th of November, to have fun and lepak, and first time going to Cherating, and use RM200++ for the whole thing...
Or should i just wait in KL for my mum & sis to come to KL on the 26th and lepak with my family instead? and errr possibly not have to spend anything?ps my mum is going to be in KL from the 26th to the 3rd of dec.

How?

What have i studied today:

* Critical Theory
* Political Economy Theory
* British Cultural Studies
* Symbolic Interaction
* Social Construction Reality
* Limited- Effects Paradigm

and more....

Herm... i hate ctr. But God, please let me As it!

Monday, November 06, 2006

I had a karaoke fiesta today.
Awesome!
Me, Manda, Nessa, Ayna and her bf went for a karaoke crayzee today!
We started singing around 2pm something and stopped singing/ left the room at erm, 7pm!
guess how long we spent at the karaoke place??!
5 freaking hours!!
We sang some spice girls, indon stuffs, bitchy songs... everything was in the list!
To be honest, i dont really like my friend's bf until today.
He impressed all of us today and i'm guessing i should know him better the next time i had bad impression on him.
He has changed i guess or so i thought so.
It was a fun day all in all. and i must say we really rocked the room!
( or scare the workers )
It's Denise birthday, my ever so loving and caring friend. Muax!
Songs i sang( that i remembered) :
- Spice Girls; ALL!
- Kris Dayanti; Cobalah untuk setia. Love it!
- Sheryl Crowe; If it makes you happy!
- Beatles; i think a lot although i cannot remember what.
- Meredith Brooks; Bitch.
- Eminem; Just lose it. Hahahaha. Manda killed me with her rap!
- Marc Anthony; I want to spend my lifetime loving u. Love it!
- Aerosmith; Jaded!
Actually a lot more, but these are all i can remember. Darn.
Rating for today: 4star! ****
Love,
Jacqueline.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

This weekend was just that normal weekend, where you go to church and wake up late and have a chat with your housemates or roomates on Sunday.

me and my cousins decided not to go to church on Sunday this particular weekend because they have to go to a rumah terbuka. So we went for the sunset mass on Saturday instead.

Darn, it was a normal mass.
Until, i realized the guy standing in front of me is freaking hot.
My cousin told me that he is hot, but i just couldn't care less, because trust me
i can be very ignorant of people when i go to church or school most of the time.

So, it was that time again when we're suppose to
smile or nod our heads to the people around us( to all the catholics/ christians; it's the peace be with u time).

So as i was smiling to all the people around me, that guy in front of me turned his back(and i mean the whole body!) put on a huge smile on his face with his big round eyes, penetrated my heart and made me in a shock mode for about 5 seconds. what a pretty thing i just saw!!

Daym, this guy is so HOT! i think to myself.
He's got a nice body, nice smile, big round eyes, nice hair, with a pair of earrings and a gold necklace around his neck.

He must be a student studying around here. He was accompanied by two of his friends and one of them was like in a blur mode all the way. i' m guessing he's not a catholic after seeing him on his phone all the time and didn't even know how to make the sign of the cross. hmm?

I realized, that hot guy was singing to every hymm of the mass. He even concentrated on the sermon (God knows if he's not), he donated on the Collection ( teenagers sitting without parents never want to kasi keluar duit sometimes), and he knows his prayers!
Oh my gosh, could this guy be more perfect or is he for real?

After the whole smile-nod thing, i couldn't help but smiling to myself.
My cousin: Sudalah tu jacqkie... ko nih. Merah suda muka ko. Duuiiiiiiii.
Me: Manada... herm. (thinking)Cute ohh dia~~~~~

Seriously, it is so rare to find/ see a guy like that.
After the mass, he even kemaskan the chairs nearby his seat.
NO ONE DID THAT!!! Not even the warden!
What??!

IN conclusion... church is definitely worth going! hahahahaha.

ehem, i meant, there are still nice guys in this world unlike what most people say.
Let's just cross our fingers and hope he's not... ermm.. gay?

Friday, November 03, 2006

Biggest problem to college, what shoes to wear!
This is only 20% of my shoes collection.
And in reality, i wear only 1 or 2 pairs every week.
Hehe. Girls~
Before u say anything, I AM NOT MATERIALISTIC.
i just love shoes. errr. does that explain anything? XD
This is my wardrobe. It's really small.
So, if u see my wearing the same thing in college,
Now, u understand aight? haha.
This is my bed. I am inseparable with the green colour. i LOVE it!

This is my so called Study- Table.
Nope, i dont use it for studying.
The picture tells everything.
Haha.
As you can see, (i hope you can see the kepala singa) i'm staying very near to Sunway Pyramid.
Before i stay here i used to think, "wow, bestnya people who stay around there, they can just easily go to the happenings in Sunway Pyramid and shop as much as they want. Yerr."
After staying here, "hey.. banyak betul happenings around Sunway, can be very bising sometimes and the stuffs are quite expensive. Grr."

This is my condo-view. Well basically i can see the pool, the other building and some more buildings. *hemmm*