Monday, June 28, 2010

LDR!

One picture to describe the company + last weekend,


Ok, tons of pictures coming right up.

So life's been crazy busy these past few weeks. Not one weekday, okay make that any-day, have I not been on the edge of my seat thinking about work. That aside, it's like time's chasing behind me like a bullet train.

Sleep, alarm clock rings. Sleep, type type type. Sleep, rest.
Next thing I know, it's July. That would be about a total of 180 days gone by.

All the happening events' pictures been seasoned out by time. Nothing eventful lately, okay I lied. A lot has happened within these two weeks. Not quite sure where I should start;

I know the long post below must have been read by all of you by now. Mummy undergo an operation last week and blessed enough my boss gave me 2 days of leaves so that I could visit my mum. Frankly, she has been strong and I couldn't say for myself. There are so many things running through my mind whenever I'm back home or most times, whenever I see her. Mixed feelings of all kind.

For news, everything went well. She looks healthy and with all your prayers this would pass by just like a bad dream.

This weekend was lovely. The Singaporean counterparts came down for a weekend gathering - organised by the Malaysians and all I can say is it has been nothing but bonding session. I am so glad this took place, and hopefully in future - more of such takes place.

To be frank, I am already missing some of them :(

We had laser tag, Wai Sek Kai, Bah Kut Teh, massages to loosen up on them tight muscles, bonding gathering at boss', and awesome dim sum the next morning! The dim sum were so awesome I'm still having the durian bread taste, nyam nyam nyam.

In the meantime, this Alex was being bimbotic asking me about Sabah.

What do you call yourself then? A Sabahan-nian?
-____________- Sabah is a state, so I'm a Sabah-an.
Isn't "bahan" a bad word?
WHAT? HOW?
You know like, "when someone bullies you a lot, you're like just a bahan to them?
Hahahahaahah *whacks him*, Hmm, you know what, that actually makes sense...


Been talking alot to my girls lately. Am glad that we have these occasional, okay daily catching up sessions in MSN. They're a bunch of lovely, fouled mouth ladies I've ever met and am thankful that though I may be far from my family they are close to next. And yes you too Jessy and Daren.

Thanks psycho friends :)

Till then,
MUMMY'S COMING DOWN NEXT MONTH!

Love & peace,
Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Don't rain on my days

A few days ago, mum texted me that doctors had found a lump on her breast.

Dazed and confused, I reread her text trying hard to not misinterpret what I just read. For some strange reason, I was calm. Or so I thought I was.

I gave her a call to clarify as I was dying to know what it was all about, hoping I could steer clear of all things possible. And what was something I thought could help me ease the pain got me even more indignant at accepting the news. I was hurt, more than anything.

I know her very well. She is the kinda person that would use all the subtle words to describe everything. Typical mums. Especially bad news in particular. I tried digging in deeper on what was/is the seriousness of the situation, but all she could say was that the removal operation needed to be done the soonest.

...while I go ahead with the rest of the day. Distracted. Mad. Because I felt helpless, that I am 2.5 hours flight away from the person I love the most, that I am incapable of saying all things motivational and love to her face-to-face, that I am not around when she needs me the most. You know how terribly conflicted I felt? To have gone here for personal goals among many, and to expect everyone around me understand my situation, and empathize with it?

These few months haven't been well to me. My every move and decision is being tested. That every decision or plans that I made seem to one way or another backfire me.

But like many, no sad news is predictable and therefore is mostly not adjustable. Yes, I would love to drop everything behind - run home and expect life falls to places after my impulsive decision, but are we ballsy enough to execute what's actually lingering in our head?

If there is one thing I am sure is that she and I, can pull this through together. I am generally not a dramatic person, sappy nor public. A lot of things in my life have been kept secret, closed dearly to my heart simply because ;

A. I am as such.
B. I am usually the listener.
C. I personally think it's a negative vibe to be spreading negativity and emotional stuff on any of my social media platforms, heck even in real life.

It's been a week that I've kept this all to myself, pulling a game face on everytime I go to work, laugh at my friends' jokes with all these at the back of my mind. I am not entirely sure whether she will be telling anyone else about it as of now, but yes you are the first to know so I would appreciate that whatever's read here stays here while I sort some stuff.

I am planning to go back one of these weekends, and when I told her my plans of going back for her operation she asked me not to because I got work and that my sister is having some tests.

I stopped in the middle of the road.

Inhale, exhale. The moment felt like forever. Holding in tears, trying to compose every breath making sure she couldn't hear the tears that trickled down my cheeks, neither the cracking of my voice.

I am coming back to visit her of course, but that too needs to be sorted out while I put my head into the right direction. She has no say in what I want to do for her, it's the very least I could do.

I ask nothing of you my fellow friends, but prayers to protect and guide her in trial times. Provide her and the rest of my family members - strength, to overcome this. I'm sure she will do alright knowing the superwoman that she is :) She is what I refer to as the only woman in my life that has juggled everything, gone through the worst and come out not only surviving it but smiling.

Love & peace,
Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.

Friday, June 11, 2010

World Cup SA 2010 Kick-Off!

Though friendly matches have started long ago, hype usually comes later. And by later I mean the finals for 2010's FIFA World Cup which is kicking off tonight!

I don't follow leagues mainly because I couldn't keep up, though at times I do stumble upon the matches when I'm out and I do check them out.

While the rest of the world is rooting for their countries (lucky them) other favourite countries, or to just follow these multi-billionaire players in short pants in action, of course I'm joining in the bandwagon too, not because of the bookie activity but because it's of tradition! Been following WC since 12, so this time would be equally the same.

During the World Cups I have had my crazy moments too;
  • Threw my sister an empty bottle because she teased my favourite team when they lost the QF - at her face!
  • Missed classes just to watch the matches
  • Dakao (gaduh in Chinese) with my classmates because well, when some teams lose some actually get personal. Haha damn funny right.

Thing is, some boys can be so egoistic and irritating at times when girls try to sneak in to the WC conversation. Assuming that we only watch for the boys (partially) but some of us are really fans of these eventful matches and skillful players.

Like me :) I am a fan of Batistuta & Veron (no longer playing), Riquelme (who's not in this time), Gattusso, Cannavaro, Buffon, Puyol, Xavi and Casillas.

Sporadic? Yes. Who will you root for, and why?

I'm rooting for Spain & Argentina!



Love & peace,
Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Facade

Keyboards sounds.
Aching.

Poker face.

Wiping them, dying while I watch everything becomes fatal. Putting on a facade. Is it really like putting completely different jigsaw puzzles altogether?

Hi, I’m Jacqkie.
Start all over?


Love & peace,
Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Hello workweek!

Time reached "birthday party" : 10PM

Meet the two walking graffitis.



Time left trashed condo formerly known as "birthday party": 6.38AM

I was in another room looking just about the same as these guys.

This was my weekend,
How was yours?

*Courtesy of Daddy Alcohol's Colin Quah's photos

Love & peace,
Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.