Monday, January 12, 2015

Value; when you can't have Everything

I booked a car just before the new years, and submitted my dear old Jose to a trusted car dealer to find himself a new owner. Since then, I have to rely on my brother or my mum to drive me around, even to my social outings *awkward* (still am probably till Feb).

On a separate occasion, I was even more busy finding my apartment a new tenant, someone who is willing to stay in the entire place on a long term basis. This whole new tenant thing came about because of the car. I had wanted to get myself a new car but the combination of both the commitment plus my ASB (nothing to hide here) will leave me nothing for my leisure expenses (yes, me and my average life).

So after finally nailing down and confirming that I am going to rent out my apartment, I had then, decided to get a new car. More like, I had to choose.

I had to choose between my hard-earned humble apartment or car to commit to. I don't know how super rich people understand a thing about value because I'm not in their shoes, I can't seem to envision to, but I personally learned about it when I can't have everything. When I can't seem to afford all at once.

I loved the apartment because it gives me extra income through weekly rentals and selfishly, because I get to see it from time to time. However, the weekly rentals and maintenance took a toll on me because not only am I traveling a lot more for work, it's simply just taxing to manage it by the week by myself. So - I decided - while the money was MUCH MORE lucrative, I have decided to just rent it out completely, and have someone pay enough for me to keep the apartment. This may mean, I may not be able to see it from time to time, find myself napping on its sofa bed on random Sundays, and that I am finally disconnected from it.

If you had visited the place, you would know that it does not looked like it was meant for house rental. I have carefully picked the furnitures there myself, painted some of the walls myself, let's just say - it was my first hard earned apartment - and there is love written all over it. I had to spent at least 40k for downpayment, and minor renovations. It was hard work.

And there was the car - Jose has been with us for 9 years, and is now completely ours. However, I realised Jose had a lot more maintenance work then I could afford, and after adding up all the necessary, I figured, maybe it's time I find a new car. I loved Jose so much. It was one of the earliest, closest friend I have ever had when I first moved to KK. Giving it up was one of the most well-thought decision I have ever done in my life, almost a year to finally decide it.

I am an average white collar girl who is very focused in life, and while I have all the priorities right in my life at the moment, house, car, job, I must tell you - that they never jazzing in bundled together. There were more times that I had to choose between one. A job, a car, an apartment, my mother, a lover, another job. I never had it all at all once. And maybe, we never were meant to have it all.

After booking the car last week, and finally getting all the deposits from my current tenant, I had mixed emotions on ... growing up. I even doubted everything. Should I really rent out my apartment? Should I really get a new car? I felt like reversing my decisions. But I didn't. Because I know that was moreso a fear for change.

I learned about value when I can't have it all, when I have to choose. When I have to weigh value of having one over the other, or giving up one over the other. Suddenly, these things have weight on it. Not as easy as when you were younger, when you'd decide on a toy or a book, or a shoe so easily.

Sigh.

Still learning.

Love,
Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.

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