Why do you always sleep in?

I love talking to my brother. Especially about his life as a doctor.

It makes everything I worry about seem SO PATHETIC compare to what he sees and experiences. Nothing like the eyes, the heart and the conscience of a doctor. I used to envy his intelligence, his courage to pick a road less traveled but now I just admire him.

Why do you always wake up early in the morning at 5AM? Even during the holidays?!
Why do you always sleep in? 
I have a very relaxed personality.
No. It's because your job doesn't equate to deaths. Well, what I do for living makes me a critical person. At times I'm wide awake throughout the night thinking about my patients. Our patients don't know that.  
Even during the holidays?
Most of the time if you make a mistake in your job no one literally dies. We lose lives as part of our mistakes. Our decisions, our conscience. I assisted a surgery for 10 hours before. I couldn't pee, I couldn't think of peeing, I couldn't even think of sighing, I couldn't imagine what it would be like to not dissect someone, I couldn't think of a holiday. For 10 hours straight. That's how long most of you work with breaks in between. And then, we move on with other patients. 
...... (and then I silenced in admiration)


Love,
Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.

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