I feel like complaining, but as I look around, I saw my cousin who just came back from their 12 hours of daily work, I saw my brother who drove all the way from Seremban only to find out I wasn't at home to open the gate for him, and I know someone special out there is lying on the bed with a fractured arm, dislocated shoulder craving for a company. I swallow my tiredness and entertained my brother, in fact that's all he would want to ask for. The princess wanted to sleep on the bed, so I slept on the couch but was feeling uneasy the entire night, and decided to sleep on the floor. Yes, on the tiles floor.

I finished watching Definitely, Maybe yesterday, only to realize that, maybe, love is easier found than we thought or some complained it wouldn't be. I mean, at some point or another all of us must have fallen madly in love with someone else other than our current, in the past and have always thought that life is/was so much better if those particular people were still around us. But look at us now people? Have we not move on with sincere laughters and loves in our life? and especially, loving every minute of it? Have we not? Maybe, love is not fate. Maybe, it's something we knew all along? Something we get to understand, predict and expect? What do you think?

On another note, I publicly admit I am actually one psychopath that can be a prick most of the time. I can't stand myself, and I'm suggesting someone to drug me if not, I would word vomit of some stupidity rants and ramblings that surfaces in my head every few seconds, and I reckon something, or someone most importantly will quit me. You know who I remind myself of? Lynette from Desperate Housewives. I'm a workaholic, I cherish moral values way too much that I seriously should have a glass of alcohol every morning to loosen up, I'm obsessed with my loved ones that I would do almost anything and everything for them regardless whether it would dry me out, I think about the outrageous things that could possibly happen, I have expectations... and deep-inside, I'm actually a 50year old retiree that hasn't stop thinking about work since the retirement day. Basically, an insecure biatch who's afraid of too many things. Frankly, waaaayyy toooo many things! It's not even funny anymore!

The sweetest little creature on earth turns 16 today, I called her phone but no one picked it up. I'm guessing she's having so much fun there with my mum and other relatives eating some "nice cakes, and nice food". With some "nice company, and nice shopping sprees". Okay, okay before I turn green envy I shall stop this home-sick talk now.

Happy Birthday Beautiful! :) You know I love you!

I tried making smores that day, minus the cookies because I forgot about it (slapshead), so I decided to melt and mix my own chocolate and bought some marshmallow for sweets after his futsal game. It took me for abit an hour or so to get the right mix and after some behind-closed-doors experiments and attempts. I mixed some dark-chocolate and the dairy-milked chocolate together and melted marshmallows to the mixture and in tasted gooood! If you leave it in the fridge and let it freeze, you can just bite it later because it has the marshmallow-ey taste that's so diabetically sweet! Serious!

After waking up with a very bad back-ache and extra cold-feet this morning, my brother poked me to accompany him to eat breakfast and for a car-wash. So I did, and after months of not buying my own newspaper, I finally picked one today with hopes that this should be a practice. I hate reading newspapers because I feel very powerless knowing all these things that's happening around me but not being able to do much (I said, much not nothing) about it, and honestly speaking, this whole scandalous things are fascinating but it doesn't interest me like Facebook or Magazine does. You and I can't deny that fact! But I'm trying to change my perception on newspapers, and I really hope I get to use this as an advantage in future, even-though most entities are no longer interested in Malaysian media (maybe the opposite!). Oh well. For the rat race, I shall sharpen myself!

My brother broke his cludge pedal. God knows how that happened, but it did. So as we were stranded in the middle of Section 14, looking hopeless, I tried my luck with the neighbourhood. As expected, they completely ignored me and they even made the sound for the Olympic games they were watching louder, I'm guessing to let me know that they don't give a damn. I understood their action, as I too would ignore knocking strangers, assuming they are either Jehovah's Witnesses or The Usual Salesmen. So I gave up after few minutes of trying and decided other methods of help and swore to at least try and talk to knocking strangers next time excluding those who has knife sticking out from the gates maybe?

I'm tired, and sleepy now. I just ate abit of chocolate and I'm off to bed. I have few readings to do before going to the next class, and assigments are piling up. I don't want to sound happy, but at least I'm doing something! :) It's been great talking to my brother last night, and I miss him and his annoying pranks, and jokes so darn much! I can't wait for his graduation! My brother probably won't let me in. Oh well.. Happy!

Ps. DAMN IT, HE BOUGHT JASON MRAZ'S LATEST ALBUM AND DIDN'T TELL ME! ARGH! - aren't ps's should be subtle and simple? :P

Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.


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