i have a huge fear of cockroaches. okay, it's kinda lame but if u have a huge fear for heights and spiders it's kinda like the same thing. the thing is i have a new fear and it is much more greater and scarier and i guess more logic to be afraid of it than being scared of roaches...
it's death. yup. i kid u not.
i heard lots of people keep saying that they're afraid of deaths and before, i thought it was just ridiculous to be afraid of death, i mean it's gonna happen anyway so why bother?
...until now. i finally know how it feels like to be scared of death; being unable to see another day and unable to say the right things to the people u care the most anymore.
i've been having this fear since i move to KL and i dont know why. it's as if everything about here is not safe. not only that, my mum has made me a people phobia. she kept mentioning about crazy psycho stories and i know her intentions are good; so that i'll be cautious and never trust anyone but it's affecting my mind like crazy now! i am so scared of everything, anything i come across with. seriously!
what's in mind if you may ask? if this is the guy that will cause my death, if this is where it will be over, if this is the day, if anyone would help if anything happens, if this is the cause of my death.. and so on and so on. all the thought have non stop run through my head and it's killing me. the moment i wake up i'll think about it, before i sleep, when i eat and even when i'm studying in class. i am afraid of death very much, i bet no one could understand.
it's in my head every single second. i dont know how do i deal with this.
... i would not let this thing interrupt my studies, not even a bit however.
the first two days of this new semester was a crazy one for me, i couldnt stop thinking about my life and that day and yes, my fear of you-know-what. i find it very spooky to mention it often. dont u?
i'm finally trying to stop myself from thinking too much about this whole thing by today. you know, maybe i'm just abit exaggerating about the whole fear thing? maybe it's just one of those days that everything seems scary to you? and it seems like it's impossible not to think about it?
yeah. i'm scared until today and i'm guessing it wont fade away until never, no doubt, but it's time for me to move on and live while i can and enjoy while i can. i told myself, it's time to stop thinking about it too much.
if only i could explain it to you how i feel about this whole fear thing you probably wouldn't understand or get it either, it's something for you to experience it yourself then you'd understand. i cant wait to go to church/mass (serious!), it's the only place i feel safe and peaceful.
Note To God (and his gang of course): i love u guys and thanks for another awesome day :)
Love,
Jacqkie.
it's death. yup. i kid u not.
i heard lots of people keep saying that they're afraid of deaths and before, i thought it was just ridiculous to be afraid of death, i mean it's gonna happen anyway so why bother?
...until now. i finally know how it feels like to be scared of death; being unable to see another day and unable to say the right things to the people u care the most anymore.
i've been having this fear since i move to KL and i dont know why. it's as if everything about here is not safe. not only that, my mum has made me a people phobia. she kept mentioning about crazy psycho stories and i know her intentions are good; so that i'll be cautious and never trust anyone but it's affecting my mind like crazy now! i am so scared of everything, anything i come across with. seriously!
what's in mind if you may ask? if this is the guy that will cause my death, if this is where it will be over, if this is the day, if anyone would help if anything happens, if this is the cause of my death.. and so on and so on. all the thought have non stop run through my head and it's killing me. the moment i wake up i'll think about it, before i sleep, when i eat and even when i'm studying in class. i am afraid of death very much, i bet no one could understand.
it's in my head every single second. i dont know how do i deal with this.
... i would not let this thing interrupt my studies, not even a bit however.
the first two days of this new semester was a crazy one for me, i couldnt stop thinking about my life and that day and yes, my fear of you-know-what. i find it very spooky to mention it often. dont u?
i'm finally trying to stop myself from thinking too much about this whole thing by today. you know, maybe i'm just abit exaggerating about the whole fear thing? maybe it's just one of those days that everything seems scary to you? and it seems like it's impossible not to think about it?
yeah. i'm scared until today and i'm guessing it wont fade away until never, no doubt, but it's time for me to move on and live while i can and enjoy while i can. i told myself, it's time to stop thinking about it too much.
if only i could explain it to you how i feel about this whole fear thing you probably wouldn't understand or get it either, it's something for you to experience it yourself then you'd understand. i cant wait to go to church/mass (serious!), it's the only place i feel safe and peaceful.
Note To God (and his gang of course): i love u guys and thanks for another awesome day :)
Love,
Jacqkie.
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