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Not one more akwardness.. please!

i thought he could be a good new friend. you know just a good friend, until.. i found out about the feelings and i guess ya'll know what i mean..

After today, i could not look at him straight in the eyes, because the akwardness is just too much..
i cant really speak to him, i cant really laugh when i'm around him, after last night, i told jessie that something is just weird about him.. or maybe just towards me?

And as usual my sister would say, " Jangan perasan bah Kie! Eish. "

And as usual i would say, " Yala-yala."

but no, i was right.
My sister was grossed out for a moment just now, when she knew about it and told me she would do anything (as much as she couldla) so that i wont feel akward around him anymore..

First of all, yes i do feel really bad for doing this to him, we were good friends before and when i knew he had other plans for us, i thought it would be better for us, or maybe me(just me) if i dont be too close too him anymore. You know, like pulling myself away from him, slowly...?

Shit. I feel bad. i do!

Most guys would prefer girls to be straight forward to them, and tell them they wouldnt have the chance at all, but trust me, it's REALLY hard to do that!!!!!

Note for the day, I can't be the mean-straight-forward-honest girl when it comes boys. and no girl should be... ( exception for relationships and so-called serious attachments).


Hate me if you must, but i couldn't do anything about it. *sighs*


p/s: remember the guy i said super cute in church? well, guess what? He's now in a TV show!!

Love,
Jacqkie.

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