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Hello!

I've been thinking of what to say after my recent trip, but all I can think of is, I'm so happy to be olderrr and just be alive! It's bizarre! Like, I am really ecstatic at being where I am now 😜

I just came back from a week in Bali with the first few nights alone, and was then later joined by some friends and family. Yes, I love my alone time - no, I ADORE MY ALONE TIME. Partly because when I asked everyone to do Batik painting class and cooking class with me, either none of them wanted to or don't want to spend money on it or some shit like that so I was like - fck it, I'm going to do everything I want.

So I did. Doing everything I wanted.
Like I'm always privileged to! 😀

Me with zero pants.



I did what many any young woman would do when traveling. Eat, sleep, swim repeat. When I was in Ubud, I swam nekkid underneath the stars, cold, but the sound of fluttering leaves and bugs honestly were music so it calmed me. I could even hear prayers - it was really soothing.

For 5 nights, I did not switched the television on. Almost never wore anything around the villa.

The creme de la creme of my sadist solo adventure was when I walked into a fancy restaurant in the middle of Seminyak (to my defense it was the only restaurant with steak, and with a decent price) and the person asked me - alone? I looked behind and said, yes?

He looked around and offered me the couch. Asked me whether I wanted to eat on the couch alone or wait for a table as there were other people waiting;

I answered, "I want a table".
(But also didn't mind waiting at the couch cause my phone was dead so I wanted to be near to the power outlet which was near the couch fml)

10 minutes later, the same guy asked me if I didn't mind sharing with a couple in a long table for 8. They sat on the far end while I sat on the other end. A bit weird, but I was hungry.

So I said yes and I ordered steak.

My phone was dead, so I basically had to look at the couple the entire time. While enjoying this lovely steak with bernaise sauce on the side and spinach on the other, my body posture was directly looking at the young western couple that's barely talking to each other. Both always on the phone, with the guy looking around all the time and the girl laughing on her own with whatever that's on the phone.

I laughed at myself.

All I can think of was, "if I have to do any of that again, it better be bloody worth it". And wiped off the last piece of steak, with my cheap red wine of the night off my lips.

But don't worry folks, my sadist solo life is seeing some light at the end of the tunnel as I slowly but surely open my heart and to the ideas of meeting different people (*cough* men *cough*). I've met many recently, and is enjoying myself with this new life 😌

Cheers to this new decade!

Love,
Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.

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