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girl in a crowd

I used to hate bus rides going back home, it's tiring i know. But, nowadays i Love it more than ever. I took the Redzuan bus back home last semester and quietly enjoyed it. Now too.

For your information, no one knew i love people more than myself. No one knew i love to mix around with all the different peoples and groups and get to know them better except for me. I'm not friendly, it's just i learn alot by mixing around with all the different people around. And i personally believe that learning is the best "ability" i possesed ever.

I used to be the Gossip Queen in any crowd, i would talk bad about people i just met a couple of minutes ago in a girl gathering, dear gosh it's something i am VERY NOT proud of now. I would talk to the haters, the girls, the boys, the hated, loved and the envied. Everyone of them.
I've judged them before and it was a childish thing to do.

Now, i now that it is impossible to love and be loved by every/any kind of group in the world. IMPOSSIBLE. No matter how fake you try to be and no matter how true you are, still not everyone will like you.

I learn alot by taking the public transport i hate the most everyday. I learn alot by mixing with alot of new people. I learn alot by listening to people bad mouthing about other people. I learn alot when i hear people whining and complaining when they dont realize they're the problem themselves. I learn alot when i was loved/ hated. I learn alot when i'm alone or in the crowd. I learn alot when i listen to people's opinions instead of sharing mine. I learn alot being the follower. I learn alot by forgiving those bitches that hurt me. I learn alot by moving here. i even learn alot when i keep quiet.

Interesting how life touches my brain and heart right?

I'm a deep thinker though it doesn't show in my face or maybe even clothes?... i still think i'm a deep thinker. I dont really share my opinions and most importantly i listen to people's instead.

Long walks, bus rides, being alone most of the time, keeping quiet, taking public transport alone which all these i hated the most is fortunately a blessing in disguise. I'm a better person and i know that for sure because i myself confirmed it. No one else needs to. That's all i need to know.

Love,
Jacqkie.
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