Friday, December 12, 2014

Counting Days

This year I volunteered myself to sing for carols and do my rounds of charity in a local hospital. While I expected lots of fun, and some kind of sadness because we're seeing kids who will be "stuck" more like in the hospital this festive season - I wasn't expected to be completely touched by the visit the way that I was.

The rounds in the hospital was already tough on me, and after the carols - each of us connected the kids the way we wanted to. Some spoke to them and their families, some played games, while others continued the rhymes.

I didn't speak to any because I was already depressingly affected by the whole visit of the wards and seeing these heroes through the hands and eyes of Doctors, Nurses and Medical assistants were the creme de la creme.

During my last round of the ward visit, I decided to speak to a boy (presumably around 7 - 9) who stood by the corner of his ward looking out for the group dressed adoringly in red and glitters. His mum came from behind and started chatting up with me, asking me where we were from, and what the prizes were.

AND THEN I DECIDED TO ASK THE MUM.

I asked the mum what his sickness was and when will he be discharged. It really were the most natural questions to ask someone who are in the ward, I figured. Until the mum told me, that he's had heart and liver infection for the longest time, and that he is to be discharged now. Halfway through while talking to the mum, I realised that the boy was dressed in the fanciest Chelsea jersey, blue jeans in what seemed like a brand new pair of sports shoes.

I gleefully asked the mum, "wow, these are all new??"

Mum smiled at me and said, yes, we are to be discharged today because we cannot afford operations and we have to go back home and "stay positive". Living with a doctor for the past 6 years taught me to understand these terms more than ever - this means, the family and the kid are counting days.

I lost it that moment, and ran out to the hallway and cried so hard that I didn't want to stop. But I did, I had to.

I realised God or anyone up there has given me SO much of time and love around me, that there is ABSOLUTELY no reason for me for one second to be sad. Or pessimist. Or depressed.

Of anything.

Also, I should never speak to anyone in hospitals anymore. I just shouldn't. I'm not cut for the hospitals - I will leave that to my brother.

Love,
Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.

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