Dear "time",

It's been a while since I've actually sat down, breeze through and embrace you.

I've just spent at least 3 hours cleaning my old, and new home alone. And now, I'm seated comfortably at one of my favourite spot, right under my house's only air-conditioner where it's blowing shyly at me while massive TV infront playing Grey's Anatomy. I hate this show. It speaks so much of what you've been thinking that it leaves me bawling over a sentence at times. A damn sentence.

So fortunately, the past few weeks have been nothing but a blessing of absolute detachment from everything else and more so a discovery of all kinds of newness, thanks to you "time". It isn't easy to start all over again, especially when it comes to companionship. I've been away from home for 5 years now, while high school friends are always here, most of my close friends are half way around the world. Or at least hours flight away from me. That means, for now (just now) my phone's ringing a dozen less and I'm pulped in my own world, which means I'm also more occupied with domestic and family issues only, and I have evidently, less "friends" to hang out with.

I did expected life to be much slower here in KK than in KL the bittersweet expectation when choosing KK over anything else, but that's also probably because I've yet to start working. I'm pumped up to get back to do something with my "time" - I have the greatest drives and I can't wait to channel it to something exciting.

Incubus is beaming through the player, and Grey's Anatomy's words of wisdom are playing as another overlap. Ironic, while everything else around me are playing I could hear my thoughts the loudest. I remember being in another city on a weeknight, it's like life only starts after 12AM, but I was blogging on a slow Friday night thinking how to refurnish my room into a ... SAFARI.

Wait for it, wait for it.

No seriously, wait for it. Will show you by end of this month :)

I kinda love this liberating, solo momentum I'm familiarizing myself in. I love it so much I even have time to read more books now. I even finished a 250-page book by Pierce, Nicole & Boonmee, Bua, Miss Bangkok Memoirs of a Thai Prostitute in two days. And then I remembered again why reading was my best hobby.

As the title explains, this book is about a young girl's memoirs on living the life as the constantly brutally judged girls in Thailand, the "Bar Girls". True enough, the perception of bars to me in Thailand is just plain negative. When in fact, it (should) is just a place to hang out and drink.

Bua vividly describes her life, living through beatings, poverty and stripped dignity for what little money she makes for the little people that she loved. And how, sex, lies and drugs have become life's soundtrack to her that she was destined and fated to follow through because of poor decision to quit school.

I strongly believe that if there's anything more valuable to us, to our soul - it would definitely be the knowledge to make informed decisions. Like I mentioned here.

And I was devastated to deduce why most Thai girls are more often "fated" to become a "Bar Girl" as means of escaping poverty. Being my favorite excerpt, this shows how one pre-mature decision could change one's lives and fate forever.

"One of my school teacher told the class to make a pair of maracas out of two coconut shells. He wanted us to lacquer and decorate our instruments as colorfully as possible. He urged us to try our best, warning us that we were being graded on them. That evening, I went home and made a hole in the coconut shells, filled them with pebbles and pushed a stick into each one. I shook them and they sounded like maracas. After playing with them for a while, I was ready to move on with the next stage - decoration. There was nothing in our house suitable for this, so I asked mae for money to buy coloring pens and lacquer. She said no. So I went to por, and he also refused, explaining that they couldn't afford it. There was nothing to be done except present my maracas as they were. I tried valiantly to trim the hair with the kitchen knife, but that didn't improve the overall effect; they were still very obviously coconut shells shoved onto two sticks. The next day I brought them into school and nervously made excuses for the absence of any color or frivolity. Instead of being angry, the teacher told me that he completely understood my situation, since none of the other poor students could afford to decorate their maracas either. He went on to say that, unfortunately, he couldn't give me a good mark for the assignment, because I hadn't completed it properly. I do not pretend that this determined my eventual destiny, but I reacted to it by somehow admitting defeat. Today, I still think about this incident and how it affected me. I accepted what the teacher said and decided that there was no point in me trying too hard in the future, as I couldn't change any circumstances. Poverty became a constant theme in my education." (p. 20, Pierce & Boonmee, 2007)

:' (

That's that. So other than feeling completely obliging (pathetic) to my blog today, I'm thinking of doing more things when I'm back here for good!! (obligatory smiley face);

#1 - Meet new people 
I would love to be more welcoming to new people and new things. I want to be more open to all kinds of races, nationalities, and lifestyles. To help me bridge my industry and other industries as well!

#2 - Visit the beach often 
One of the things that I miss the most (when I'm not in KK) were the gorgeous beaches, so I'm going to be more appreciative of the beaches, and visit a beach far or near, at least once in a month or two. The combination of beach and sun is deadly awesome.

#3 - Sports 
With all the free time I'd have by myself, I'm dying to get actively involved in running and sports!

Other than that, my life shall revolve around mum!

Love & peace,
Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.


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