Friendships

This post is long over due.

I remember promising one of my best friend back in Aussie this. The story of how complicated relationship can get and how mind-screwing it can be.

Every being of my body was disgusted hearing all things spoken. Part of me wanted to fly there and protect her by any means possible, but time prohibits and I could only give my encouragement and promises of virtually and mentally being there for her anytime. Simple enough, at times like these people like her just wants companionship and the right talks to keep her mind back on track. To distinct what’s real, and to forgo what was once.

Why hello friends, life is not that easy.

Used to tell myself that being cynical is merely a state of mind. Though I do partially agree to this, more often than not we are put in a shitty position way too many times to still be rise and shine about a lot of things.

She got back together with the man who not only physically abused her but mortifyingly degraded her by calling her all sorts of names.

My friends, before you judge this amazing soul friend of mine – I could justify with her situation. It was almost impossible to disintegrate yourself completely with the person you thought was everything. The person you woke up with, the person who appreciated your idiosyncracies, the person who used to go through hell with. It was the strangest kind of comfort one could get.

I believe in long term relationships, and I’m not just talking about those bf/gf kind but platonic relationships and also those real friends you met with along the way. But believing in long-term relationships is like going to church every Sunday. Do you have faith in it, or is it just cause it is morally the right thing to do?

Like my wise friend used to say, “Breaking up is easy. It’s moving on that’s fucking hard.”

How true.

She could tell him it was over but his images and all things around her would draw her back to him. Then back to that sick, sick cycle.

What was foreseen, was becoming. Everything about it was just so different. The trust was no longer there. Some feelings are unattended, simply because the nature, quality of relationship was perceived as deteriorating. Some questions are left unanswered, and some answers seem never satisfying.

While most of these intimate problems are things I will never truly know of, truths spoken in other sense. She moved on, emotionally to another person who cared more for her. Heck, was just around her all the time.

Possibly found peace.

There’s nothing absolut about you and I. You are not a sinner, neither are you a saint. You are not smart, neither are you stupid enough. You are both. You would do a random hot chick anytime anyday. You would also be there for your boyfriend or friends for comfort and care – even if you think they could handle things all by themselves. You hold onto a girl just ‘cause everything feels right, but confuses yourself this might just be a phase.

There are times in life you just have to accept that you are both evil sick, yet kind at the same time. And that whatever bullshit of a lecture you used to give your friends or love ones regarding any matter, will along the way change. When the toughest situations will force you to strip all your integrity and fucking eat every damned words you used to believe in.

Like me trying not to be cynical in life, I will not become bitter and deceitful, I will not let lust or immaturity get in the way of anything, I will not become touchy to people’s boyfriends because I particularly hate that in both guys and girls, I will not cry indecently for the world because I hate emo suckers, I will not... *doing the Zen pose*

I will not succumb to hypocrisy because I'm better than that.

***

Okay emo post done. Here are some photos for all of you. Yeah I must be the randomest person on earth.

This is my crazy intern Dee. I love her, and I really hope our friendship goes beyond this :)

These are the two people I most rarely meet, Amai and Audrey! I really miss Amai because he's been so busy cause he just started working. I could talk to Audrey online, and understood that she's now moved to Singapore. I love and miss you guys tremendously :)

Here's one of the occasion where our internet was down (someone actually kicked the modem) and Yuen, Jestina and I rushed to Starbucks because we were rushing some work off. Tadaaa!

Robin is bisexual. Or gay. I don't know, no one can't seem to tell. Either way, he's really friendly with everyone. Despite him stealing my boyfriend on most occasions (sure merajuk read this) I still love you :)

This was Irene's 21st which was celebrated with grand. Appreciate the invite and we all had awesome fun! Gorilla and I :)

I can only see Amir in this picture. That's all of us having a toast. There is only one thing I'd like to toast to, and one thing only ; Happy days!

That's temperamental monkey Brian. I know he has a crazy anger, and he can be extremely rude at times - but I seem to be able to manage him and I believe he sayang me a lot. He's a man of action rather than words. He doesn't usually say the right things at the right times but he puts a bit of effort in friendship, and an upfront man like him is almost always not likable but he seems to be okay with it.

Okay done for tonight! Tomorrow's Friday!

Love & peace,

Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.