Supposedly to be the most commercialised celebration, I couldn't feel as much, until Secret Santa and meeting up with my family came to picture. When you put two and two together, you'll see that for me to able to feel so much love in this air is through... gatherings and reunions.
I am a simple person with simple expectations. Secret santa the other night taught me a thing or two about Christmas, that at the end of every religious celebration isn't just about passing parcels or mutters, but about genuinely knowing what the celebration is about, sincerely being happy with the people around you, genuinely remembering them in your hearts and prayers wherever you go, actually genuinely care what's been up with their lives and hope to be a part of it in any way possible. Wah, so many genuinity, but you get my drift right.
You see, Christmas is a personal thing. Just as liberal you and I have established that fact years ago. I can bring the bible everywhere I go but so long as I am crude and ignorant, my words and I mean absolute nothing to you. I get that.
So every year, I search high and low the meaning of Christmas, and every year it remains the same. When time changes my answers, I will let you know. But as of now, I stick to togetherness. It's not that I'm afraid of loneliness, trust me, I've gone through that, it's the fact that everyone is just.. there. Talking, mingling, laughing and enjoying themselves. If I could paint that view on a canvas, I would. It's like the best view ever. I get all mellow and softened.
Yesterday. First saw mum, I smiled, on guard. Mums always need to say something about how you look. She didn't. I smiled. She's still the prettiest. Saw sister, the other naughty descendent. Summarised 6 months in 15 minutes, sister was still in disbelief about some-things. Paranoid mum seems to be strangely calm about other things, I smiled. How do I express my love with just a hug? Downright impossible. So they'll get a sister, a best friend, a daughter, my love, attention, care, least I could offer.
Crap. Which reminds me, I haven't shopped for their gifts.
My Christmas is; I hug them to sleep, I hear them talk, I laugh with them. The people around me. After that crazy year;
Have a relaxing, much loved and fun Christmas.
You deserve one :)
Hugs & Kisses,
Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.
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