Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Where is the poet in me?

Listening to - Regina Spektor Laughing With

I was never poetic. The kinda person who would make everything around me into pieces of emotions, scripted into literature. Something that we call a piece of our mind posted all over our digital networks may it be a status or our blog for that matter.

Never. 'Cause how do you express something that you feel so strongly deep inside with tangled words, ambiguos meanings to that unidentified recipient? Expressing how you exactly feel is courage, defined more humbly.

But slowly, and positively I have become more aware of this strength. Something I admit, I don't dare pull off infront of anyone, physically. The shame of being ridiculed is unimaginable, could be unbearable - who knows? So I try to explore my own thoughts, opt for a simpler way in expressing myself. Like playing with my cat, put up bad habits like eating the peanut butter at 2am in the morning, or not showering after a party not 'cause I'm tired but because I'd like to see what partying would do to me the next day, and usually horrible. Sometimes, I would take bath at odd times, simply because I needed the calmness of the cold water to wash me off, soothing.

I would wipe off the makeup on my face, sometimes choke on the dryness of my throat. Regretting sugar-rushes, but of course I'm not talking about candies here. I once told myself if I'm just a random stranger, let me be the kind stranger. The one who would help you or do your survey, or smiled at you for taking my order, or the one who would thank you for letting me walk into my seat in cinema.

I may not look the most approachable, I've already registered this but let me be something else. Something simpler, something less colourful but equally special.

Hello you. Hello to your cat. Hello to your kittens (it was mating season last month). Hello to your dogs. Hello to your cactus. Hello to your parents. Hello to your boyfriend (remember to keep them at one) & bestfriends. Hello everyone.

Maybe I don't need to be a poet you know? I could be the person who gives direct messages, straight forward. Like the Hellos. Yeah.

Hugs & Kisses,
Jacqueline Rowena @ Jacqkie.

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