Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Love is in the Air!

This is the first time Daren hasn't call or sms me in 10 hours since the 18months we've been together.

I miss him terribly, but from the bottom of my heart; I am alot happier that he's out there enjoying the company of his buddies without an additional lady in the group to worry about.

Since the day we got together, we've given each other undivided attention even when we're physically separated. I'd call him every few hours to check up on him, and he'd do the same to know my whereabouts. It was like a constant reminder to each other that despite the distance, our contrasting environment always reminds us of us.

Like how I'm unable to finish my venti sized Java Chip and there was no one else who was able to gulp it for me, or when he would break awkward silence with his random wild curiousity that usually involves animals, or his disturbing excess of nature calls that always disrupts the outing's plan, or his indecisiveness in selecting what to eat from a poster-sized menu in mamaks and eventually orders the same thing for every visit.

Just recently, we've discussed about making our relationship stronger than ever, and we've confessed our insecurities that we had back when we were new - that were fatal to both. We've come to conclusions that we need to grow as individuals eventhough our circle of friends most of the time overlap. We've talked about encouraging each other to spend more quality time with our close friends through mamak sessions, movies, checking out girls(You naughty boys), futsal and even shopping.

He was always an outdoorsy, sociable guy but ever since he got together with me he has become more domestic, simple and relaxed. I have always felt guilty of robbing his social life back when he was single, thats why I have to push him time and time again to appreciate his free time. That he needs to not worry and care about his little baby so much, and start living for himself. He is a gentle, sensible friend that cares a little too much about me sometimes and I've wished to him not to treat me as such because I wan't him to own and love his personal space.

Frankly, I couldn't believe a boy-girl relationship could turn to something so effortless and so platonic-like. I can't believe we've gone pass infatuation stage and we're now concentrating on stronger permanent tie that is build on trust. I'm extremely proud of him and myself and we both know that deep down, we owe each other so much for shaping us who we are today.

Dear readers, I'm not really sure what kind of perception or expectations you have from your partner or the other gender, but I can tell you this; your fancy wishes will most probably not be met. No one remains the same throughout their life so to expect someone to 'accept you for who you are' is too much because you will change, and you will contradict. Love should be something that is found by you and not something that is stumbled upon. It's something that can be worked-on, and it cannot be physically abusive. It's something that you secretly can't live without no matter what facade you put on you to show others. It's something humbling, mellow and almost medicinal.

Love yourself as much as you can before putting it out for others. Put on the most colourful makeup or shoes, start speaking to everyone in the language of love and start your day with a song thats puts you at your best behaviour! Imagine the moving clouds forming a happy face, and remember that it means you have one more day to laugh! Let go of your imagination, and share it to your loved ones when you see them :)

Dear bestie (yes it's you handsome), thank you for enjoying yourself so much today. Your positive energy coloured and infected my day, hence my fun outing with the girls too! If I could, I would buy you all the things I saw today that I know you needed just to pamper and spoil you, and THAT's realistically how much I'm in love with you :)


Love,
Jacqkie @ Jacqueline Rowena

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ntah napa this post puts a smile on my face kie,hehe.. =)
I totally agree, people change, and it's up to you to make it work with ur significant other.

-s0f-

Jacqkie! said...

Thank you! I know, people will always change so it's really hard for someone to remain the same just for their significant other :)