Monday, January 28, 2008

to cny

Chinese New Year's just few days away, and my skin betrayed me at this perfect time.

Pimple-licious? Shit. I really couldnt find no scientific explaination for my over-crowded face. I'm down with tons of work, and I'm still head over heels with the boyfriend. He surprised me today in the morning, saying he wont come to college, when I sat there in Mamak, thinking, roti telur and neslo panas gonna taste just like breakfast today without him. and then the hero came from behind me with that huge smile I love so much on his face.

I got so excited and happy, I totally ignored the roti telur and neslo panas served on the table. Honestly, he's a million times more interesting than the food :)

Was involved in Pei's birthday party the other night. I helped a bit, and the most I remembered was blowing balloons. and food. and a joker name Alex. and sweets' talent on making mini balloons out of the big one. one thing's kinky for sure, my baby sure can blow too. it was a surprise birthday party, and i tell you, I'm scared of in-the-dark-surprise birthday parties. It sure does sound interesting, but I'm just scared that the birthday girl/ boy will freaking do some karate shit if we scare them, instead of surprising them. Thank God, that didn't happen.

Saturday was Peter's turn to get wasted for his 21st. One thing's for sure, Bukit Antarabangsa is like a whole new world to me, and to sweets too. I didnt know the one small road, with the weeny sign leads to this huge petempatan, with their own Giant and Mamak with WiFi in it. How cool is that?

I need to blardy clean my room before chinese new year. stephie sweetheart is gonna come down from Pahang, and I'm not letting her sleep in my (currently) fugly room. she's gonna need some febreze and maybe inhaler to stay alive for just one night in my room. that's how serious it has become.

remember the decomposing bed I told you previously? It died. It broke into half while sweets and I were layaning Bon Jovi's Always. It was quite funny actually, felt like the bed couldn't tahan our singing anymore- that it just gave up on us. Were we really that bad sweets?

After three months spending endless quality time with it, I should have a new new year's resolution: to not tease donkey kong that much anymore. one day, he'd freaking carry me and toss me to the sky or something. next thing you know, I'd be back in Sabah or am drowning somewhere in South China Sea. matilah saya.

Oh, for the record, I'm blardy broke too.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

No PD

Somehow or rather I dont want to blog about PD anymore. I lost my thumbdrive, and lost all the pictures I've editted. I have no mood, and I suggest you click on Sway Lai's link if you want to read about PD. I'll blog about something else.

These past few weeks have been stressful. From work, to life, to health. *sigh*

It's funny how one person can be in the same age as yours, but a million miles away different from your thinking. I just realized what differentiates people is the conscience, not what's spoken, or so thought was spoke of or even the age.

A 19 year old like me shouldn't be thinking about life this way, in fact I should just not look at life in general, and just walk blindly on the road with no expectations. It really is always better that way. Less hassle, less complicated. and definitely spontaneous.

But, I've thought long and hard about life. About how I wish it wouldn't be so complicated. How I wish I could have just grown like any other 19year olds, just give me their way of thinking, and just blardy freaking make me one of them, but... I guess I never will.

I wish decisions were just based on a yes and a no. Or how things should go that way or the other way round. Or how people can only come up with few conclusions instead of so many ways, and translated it in billions of angles.

Dont you ever get tired of being positive all the time, too? Life can be so tiring.

I'm Stupid. Distracted. Stressed. Confused. Worried. Wondering. Nervous. Uncertain. It made me not realized I'm all these because being Loved blinded me, and for sure everyone too. It's always easier to have something less complicated or something less serious,

but what would life mean if that were to happen?

That can never happen to me. I'm one emotional slat, who cant seem to detach myself from these little little feelings of love, kindness, patience and of other things that built me and people I love. I grabbed hold on to the things that I treasure that it scare me sometimes, the thought of losing it or maybe not being appreciated of what I've done, again.

Imperfections secretly intimidate us. Yet, real people handled it without guns and tanks, with just the power of presence and love of their loved ones, men and women grow from who they were. How brutally unfair, how flaws were managed and loved so impossibly easy for some people and ridiculously hard for some.

Natasha Bedingfield's Soulmate got me twirling like a little girl in love with her imaginary Prince Charming. How one day, one man can make all the lyrics in the love songs seemed relevant to the little girl. That it takes only one person to teach what life is. and what love should be.

Just one man, a girl would ask for. One whole man, sweets :)

"Most relationships, seemed transitory,
They're good, but not the permanent one...
Who doesn't long for someone to hold?,
Who knows how to love you, without being told"

Love,
Jacqkie.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Thank God.

I couldn't thank these people enough for welcoming me to their working life, trusting me with the jobs assigned and most remembered- sharing with me their friendship. It's been bittersweet and I'm glad I worked with all of you.

Thank you Anis, Ayu, Idayu, Liyana, Sugee, Peter & Edward! :)

L-R: Liyana, Sugee & Peter. (Ignore my steal-the-thunder pose)
L-R: Anis (SM), Ayu, Sugee, Liyana, Peter.

But, I'm freaking darn happy too, that all of these will be over soon. It's time to go back to college. Sometimes I really do wonder how in goodness gracious world can one do their industrial training for 6 if-this-were-to-happen-to-me-I-will-kill-myself freaking months.

I will share with you guys what I've been doing these two months inside that tall building you see so often.

Have I ever OT'd? A couple of times, but not by much either. I'll usually reach office by 8.30am and if I dont meet up with sweets after work, the earliest I can reach home is by 5.30pm. It's safe to say, I've only OTd a couple of times. Yes, you can give me the envy look now my classmates.

Have I ever spent the whole 9 hours infront of the computer "working"?
Confession, 90% of the time in the office was spent browsing the internet (cough*facebook*cough), okay maybe 60% lah, I'm not that bad. The rest of the remaining hours? Well, that would be the trying-to-look-busy hours.

So what the heaven am I doing there actually? Thanks for asking! (Technica-sadly, I just asked myself didn't I?) Anyway, with only one specified task assigned to me, which was to conduct a Customer Satisfaction Survey by making tons of phone calls- other than that, I can be leveled with the Fishermen. We share the common schedule of having tons of time to sleep, while working!

Besides the really productive research, (I'm not being sarcastic, it really was productive!, believe me!), I assisted Anis, Ayu, Idayu & Sugee on any of the company's internal events. And even attended my new friend; Sugee's beautiful wedding!

All in all, I must admit, there are times when the days seem to move slow, but more often than not, they were Slower.

Exceptions of those days when I have to call the customers every single minute, customer after customer, and to record down feedback after feedback, those days I admit were fun. Although occasionally, when I cant reach these big shots, entertaining myself to their waiting tones was always a good reason for me not to curse the phone, after the attempts. Some even have rap songs for their caller tunes! How can you not be cooled down by that?

So what do I really feel about this experience?
Something I will not do. AGAIN. Waking up early every morning and pretending to look busy is definitely worth more than a few hundreds, kan classmates? But then again, having no diploma certificate "yet" and blessed with this greedy attitude- I guess few hundreds is great enough to be thrown on my face after doing everything what was told to do.

Yeah, that's just about it. Ask me personally if anything. Wait, there's something else:

I AM GLAD IT'S OVER!

OH, FORK, I forgot about the 25 pages report!

Love,
Jacqkie.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

DONKEY KONG

This is an inside joke. Now I know who is or even what is Donkey Kong. Promise me you'll do this act next time okay?


It's a Saturday night, and I'm blogging.

It's a sin actually to update your blog 3 (freaking-you're-really-lifelesslah-Jacqkie) times in 2 days. I know. Spare the teasing when I see you in college, as I'm freaking excited to meet all my collegemates (most of you rabid readers) again. I miss getting busy at times, but most importantly, I miss those buggers I have to see so often.

They always manage to make and ruin my day at the same time.

Something really embarassing happened today, thanks to my brother who never learn to call me at least 5 hours before coming to house. My brother met Daren already. Abruptly. Honestly speaking, my brother's the scariest person by far I'd introduce anyone to. He may be one of my nicest man on earth, but he can be judgemental at times, in the name of "being protective". But he didn't say anything about Daren, I'm sure he'll like him if he finally gets the chance to know him.

I was counting something on a piece of paper (yes, mind you, i'm still living 10years back) in the office last Friday when my colleague came up to me;

"Eh, so funnylah you, It's like you're counting the days you'll finally be out from prison kinda thing."
"....But, but, but, I am!!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA so funny!."

Left four more days. Empat hari lagi. Four more friggin days. I will miss Anis, Sugee, Idayu, Ayu, Peter & Edward for sho' as they're by far, among the nicest bunch of work-mates I've ever had, eh too fast, have. Will introduce you guys to them virtually on the next post because I left my thumbdrive containing all the "sort-of" important stuffs in the office.

On a serious note, I really really need to bring my laptop for a fix. It's falling apart, I can hear some crack sounds, and being in-denial would not help keep-it-together. I'm scared it'll break to half when I'm busy with my work for next semester. I guess that's when I'll realized it really should be fixed, no?

I finally met up with Carol after so many months not spending quality time with her. I miss you babe, I really do. We fought the shopping temptations but ended up with Donuts and Ice-blended. Very healthy to start the year. She came up with something rather interesting;


"I'm sorry God, I made Jacqkie skipped church this week, Amen!"
"Hahahah, you can do that meh?"
"Yeah, cause God is very nice, he is very forgiving!"

That does make sense right?

Yes it's the picture both of us uploaded in Facebook, as our primary picture, and dont give me that bored look because your smile is so much better looking than your frown.

Is it just me or does love songs make more sense now?

Oh wait, IT IS just me. *giggles* I better leave now before someone whack me.


Love,
Jacqkie.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Hoolooscopeee

PLEASE READ THIS. I CANNOT HELP BUT UPDATE MY BLOG FOR THE SECOND TIME TODAY BECAUSE OF THIS.

Libra:

Libra woman mostly has an egg oval facial shape. She has a nice smooth skin
and a good figure. She will spent so much efforts to keep her skin clean and
pretty. She can be easily allergy to cosmetic and make up, but taken care of
her face and avoid wrinkle is her hobby. She is good at it and tend to look
younger than her age.

She can be very naughty like a little boy, but yet fully 100% woman (???). She
looks nice in either Jean (who?) or night gown. She thinks woman is equal to man. Sometimes she can think faster than you, but she will not leave you far behind (hmm). She will try not to make you feel like you are competed or defeated in any games she plays with you even she is winning.

She is a little flirt ( I wonder how little)even she has no idea what she wants. She cannot decide what to do, and what not to do, so she can not set her schedule (???)very well in all cases.

She is gifted with how to dress, and how to match her dress. She likes to
dress in black and wear perfume. She likes a mild flowery scent.

In any argument, she can really argue. She can argue for hours, and mostly
win the argument. If it is not a serious argument, she could argue and once
a while give you a smile also
. She will make a good politician, because
she can tell which party will win the election. (now i know what makes a good politician!)

She always has a good reasons ,even she likes to contradict herself. She cannot decide what is right and wrong for her, because everything has a good side and a bad side. Woman in other Zodiac might not care what other people think, but Libra woman care what other people ,or what you feel as much as her own feeling.

She can adjust to her environment very well (reminds me of the animal Cameleon) , so at work she will be at the ladder up (literally?). She likes team work in doing things. If you ask her for help or advice, she will help you except if she does not like your guts. She can change you and make you think you change by yourself without her influence. (...wondering how)

Good side of being with Libra woman are she never interfere with your privacy. She will not make you loose face in front of your friends. Even she cares about how much money she has left his her bank account (..a joint account?), she will never forget to let you know how much she cares for you. (...how does this work?)

She think taken care of the house is a woman job and she can do it well. But if you expect a Libra woman to fear you, then you are wrong. She is a strong woman even she looks at you with that sweet innocent pairs of baby's looks and may loose you (let you win) in a few poker games. (I guess they are related?)

If she is the one you are after, then go step by step (step by step, remember ah). The best way is using her friends introducing you to her. Do not make her feel or treat her like a bubble head (what??). You have to move forward toward her with confident and secure. Show her that you are a kind , polite and a real gentleman. Be a slow hand (doing the itsy-bitsy spider gesture) or else you might get smack!

*I think he got rejected from the Mainstream Papers and secretly doing it online now.

Love,
Jacqkie.

I'll be 20?

At the end of the year, it's not about what happened. It's how you feel towards those things that happened.

These were my last year's resolutions. Come to think about it, it looks like I will never ever escape from these self-evaluation resolutions. In the name of "better-ing" myself, I find this exercise inevitable.

2007's resolutions:

a) STUDIES. nothing else comes first than my studies this year:
I really did dedicated myself last year to my studies. I was never last minute, I was always punctual, I disciplined myself to a bed-time, I read as much books as I can, I tried not to loiter around and most importantly; library, labs and the media hubs were my office. *wink* I like the nerdy me. I do.

b) less SHOPPING.
*pretending not to see this* I admit, I failed this one.

c) keep my friends close and ignore the enemies. Like totally!
I like living in a nutshell. I dont give two-shits of those who would bring me down or not appreciative of my contribution. I dont like having the idea of having my enemies closer. Let them live their lives, and let me live mine. Unfortunately, that didn't happened this year. I breathed their breath. I walked their paths. How the hell can I run from them? So I failed this one too.

d) make more friends. make big connection, it's always helpful!
I did make more friends. But I like to believe that I can be secluded from other people when I want too. I'm not so much into getting attention. But I did inevitably make more friends along the way. Weee!

e) lie only when necessary.
I practiced this everyday, shame on you for not doing the same thing. 'nuff said.

f) take care of my Body, keep healthy.
For the 18th million times, I did not went on a diet-frenzy. I DID NOT. I just cut-down on fries, junk foods, carbonated drinks, roti-canais etc etc. I'm still having my normal meal of rice and dishes and of course, booze. If you really wanna know, I lost 5 kgs this year after checking with my not-so-reliable weighing machine last monday.

g) keep my mouth SHUT if there's nothing GOOD to say.
and so I did. shits replied with a shit will cause bigger shits. I better keep mean things to myself.

h) less gossiping.
I failed this one miserably. Although I wasn't the sender of all the news and gossips, I've turned into a very enthusiast gossips end-receiver! I've accepted the fact that I'm only human and it's not wrong if I knew about them hot stories as long as I keep it to myself after that. Can someone please agree with the in-denial-me on this?

i) choose the chances given and grab them, never to grab all.
And I did.

j) have fun living!
Yes & No. I did stuck my nose to the books all the time and I do admit that my pocket money turned into a lifetime saving for not going out often, but I had my occasional entertainments, which involved close acquaintainces which I love most. I believed in too much of a good thing is also not a good thing. Keep it balanced baby!

Dont worry, will ask Magic 8 Ball whether this year will be better.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

2008

HAPPY DARN-GOOD & PRODUCTIVE 2008 EVERYONE!

I tossed away Love's treacherous terrain. Too many dialogues, I got bored halfway reading as a third person in one's conversation.

Remember my hopes of someone abducting my slavemaster on Monday? *sinister laugh*

Something less evil happened (darn it); she got sick. Apparently her voice was croaking when she called my colleague. So my work's extended to Wednesday. I got so excited that she's not coming in on Monday, I completely ignored the left-overs of my work. And now i'm back to where I stopped. BUGGER; I should stop believing in miracles!! *rolls eyes*

Anyway, I had my first Starbucks in months.

Me: I'm avoiding caffeine, thats why I stopped going Starbucks or Coffee Beans. They're actually just some overcharged Nescafes you know. *while sipping Nescafe*
Jenny: I wonder what "avoiding" and "caffeine" means to you.

2008'S Resolutions (I TOLD YOU I WOULD COME UP WITH THESE THINGS).

1) Family (any decision making goes down to my family's approval and blessing)
2) My other half (anything to do with him)
3) Studies (I'm butt serious when it comes to my studies)
4) More me & friends quality time, anything to do with Friends!
5) Healthier, nicer, more genuine, and peaceful lifestyle
6) Avoid dramas and nonsensical-talented people at bull-shitting your life. AVOID.

Love,
Jacqkie.