s-t-u-p-i-d

Yesterday (it's 25th the sacred Christmas Day by the way) at exactly this time around, I felt stupid, idiotic, useless, angry, confused, dissapointed, retarded, basically everything which resembles stupidity in all forms. I felt like giving up, and just conform to those Jacqkie jokes that I get too often, internalized it in my brain and just blardy freaking live with it!

Have I told you that there are Proffession Jokes, Christian Jokes, Family Jokes and just plain Jacqkie jokes? If I start compiling all the stupidness I've done since baby, it'll be thicker than those religious books I bet.

I wanted not to cry. Trust me, I really did. I was trying so hard holding it back but dwelling upon it too much didn't helped and it just felt so comfortable to cry then and there with sweets wrapping his arms around me. I couldn't help but pity sweets for putting up with dating an idiot like me, but loved him more for forcing himself being so understanding of the world renown fact: that I really CAN be THE dumbest girl in the whole world without a doubt. and can still sayang me.

Sorry I couldn't share it with you guys on what happened, because I just dont want too. Only sweets know what happened and I like to keep it that way. I know it's annoying when you start spilling bits and pieces of a secret or something you'd not want anyone to know; but then publicly arousing people to think of the worst cases scenario by writing this, with conclusion you're never gonna tell them what really went down. I know it's a pain in the arse but I need to spill out how I feel- but never the whole story.

Right now, I'm much happier and brighter. Thanks to sweets for making my Christmas Day an awesome one regardless of all the bullcrap that happened to me this week. I was missing him badly and thought I'm unable to see him these few days, but God really work in strange ways and with the tight schedule having my family around, miraculously, I ended up spending Christmas Day this year with him. Thank you for being you, sayang. *smiles widely*

He didn't do anything wrong if you're assuming that, in total contrast, he was the main and only reason I smiled sincerely & genuinely after that shit. I got all soft and smiley when he's around, it really is impossible not to be me again around him. *blushes* The whole day revolved on how stupid I can be. In this context; very, unbelivably, award-winning, you're the man, stupid.

I should really stick a big fat STUPID sticker on my forehead to warn people. OH, if there's a Miss Stupid competition like those beauty pageants, I bet I'll win it with no complications. AND, I can make it as an Ice-breaker, I'll introduce myself as "Stupid Jacqkie" and people will get confuse with the remark, and then I'll begin the conversation!

OMG. I feel really dumb, and please let me feel dumb, for at least a week or two. I want too.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Comments

-[sweei]- said…
Awww, JACQKIEEEE!!!
*BIG BIG BIG HUGE BEAR HUG*

It's okay, whatever IT may be. No need to spill the beans to everyone. Just keep it between you and sweets. *smiles*

But whatever it maybe, don't call yourself stupidlaa. That word should be banned from the dictionary.

Sounds so..so..so very out of this world! basically a rough word that so doens't reflect YOU at all. You're an intelligent gurl and gosh darn FUNNY!

Love you for who you are, and if you say you're "stup...stupp", haih, can't say the word...then i love your "sttuuu....dity". Need i say more?

Well you get the idea. *HUGS*

Cheers!
ItoMaki said…
I hope we didn't do anything to start this! O_o We love you Jacqkie, and our teasings are all just gestures of affection. I don't know what happened but don't feel bad, you're not stupid. *hugs* You're just misunderstood!
The Soundaholic said…
Oh Jacqkie dearest!

Whatever it is... do know I'm always here for you! I mean, you don't need to tell me, just want you to be reassured that you have people who sayangs you a lot!! :D

And you're not an idiot... You're talking to the Supreme Retard here. :P

I'm glad you have him around. :D
It works like magic doesn't it? ;)

Love you babe!

Muahwies! Missing you loads.

Beth
DeGiRL said…
OMG babe, you're FAR from stupid! how can you even think you are! Oh my gosh! Eliminate the idea immediately!

Yeah.. I understand the importance and significance of your boyfriend being there for you. I REALLY understand.. :)
So, greatful for my 'curse' now? :P

Whatever it is, I love you. We love you. More than anth in the worl because you're unique. You're Jackqie. Our Jackqie. :)

Muah! Luv Ya!!
Hugs!
Jacqkie! said…
Sweei: hehehe. yeah the word should be banned eh? It's very contagious once you think you are.

itomaki: i'm not misunderstood, i just really am dumb.

beth: thank you so much babe. thanks for being there.

degirl: yeah! i sayang-sayang my other half! :P

sweei, itomaki, beth & denise: thanks you guys!

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