Monday, December 03, 2007

Get to know what it feels like

Remember this?

"They pushed themselves around and played with each other's hair. Both wearing simple shirts and trousers. Whispering of things i'd not want to know. She was skinny, short-haired, with thick glasses. Acnes covered most of his face, he has short undefined haircut, and was smiling amusingly, which I assume at his appreciated jokes.

They seem so.. happy? trouble-free? i'd say in love. Puppy love. The really fun puppy love. It never failed to make me smile. It was like a scene I visualized from a book I read, a young couple pleased with each other's companion more than anything in the world. It was everything they thought they needed. Looking at them, love seems so believable and innocent.
I was lost in my thoughts after seeing the young lovebirds. The only thing I remember was asking myself;

.......What. The Hell. Am I. Looking. For. In Them?"
August 24, 2007

CLICK HERE to read the complete post

It isn't about me now. Or us. I'm writing down my thoughts because I accidentally came across this post I wrote when I was still in my solitary days.

Infatuation is probably the most exciting feeling one could have. But, it's purposeless. Or maybe, temporary. Some people may like the whole idea of having things temporary or no strings attached, keeping things then and there or people in this case as much and as "professional" as you can. But I wonder, really, why would we human do that? Why do we chase for something temporary when you could have that one reason to wake up in the morning?

I've always been naive, and everyone I love have always been worried for me on how this wicked world would treat such person like me. Getting back into a relationship is, like walking on a piece of glass sometimes. You'd never know what to expect, or maybe what to hope. For someone like me who'd give up anything to live a simple life, and not be bugged by drama, living under a shell with a book in my hand, is probably the best life I could imagine. But then I realized that I'm only human, where heartfelt is a huge part of my decision making and that humans shouldn't run from problems and drama in life but bitch-slap it and embrace the lesson learned.

As much as I want to believe that loving someone with all your heart is all it takes to make the world go round- I personally dont agree to it completely. Loving someone is an amazing feeling, it dissolves one's imperfections and even expectations. You accomodate to the person you love's reactions, feelings, concerns, hopes. You'd jump across the bridge to get to your loved one (figure of speech of course), you'd wear bright orange just cause your partner thinks it looks good on you, you'd sing for her eventhough it would be the most embarassing thing you'd ever have to do, you decided to listen to only one person and it's her, or maybe you'd bake a cake for her, just cause, she's worth baking the cake for but later you'll realized it's your time you sacrificed expressed in form of a material.

A relationship is sacred, fun, and something you'll learn no matter what the outcome. So why go for something short, uncertain and maybe it's somewhat deprived of? I get really tired of listening to people's love stories of how things turned ugly in the end or even blurry, uncertainty, not knowing what did you get from it besides the romping and extra contacts. Stop conforming to the movies and that wild world, start believing in karma, and hoped for a nice day by looking within yourself. Really.

Getting someone involved with you is one beautiful feeling, if that two people can really become one- complete each other's sentence, understood what each other meant and maybe listen while the other one is talking, it would be something you've passed the infatuation stage and hopefully, you'll looked back and saw that there were two set of footprints all along the long and winding road- yours and hers.

Sue me, I'm a no body to speak about relationships like this. I've gone through shit myself and was always doubtful. I just feel, like I want to have a say on it for now, the previous post tingled me. Cleo once told me, to get to the right guy you'd have to go through all the wrong ones, but please people, if you already know that guy isn't for you before you get together with him- stick to being single and browse through your catalog again and wait for that nice guy you've always wanted.

As for me, I've found my nice guy, by far the sweetest and the best thing that's ever happened to me this year. You know the couple I described above? I saw that in us.

I'm writing this, cause, relationships, they... make you, me think.

Love,
Jacqkie.

7 comments:

-[sweei]- said...

HOLY MOLY! That is one very very very deep-till-can-tenggelam-into-the-depths-of-the-occean-deep blog entry by far!

Wow, nice one though. I can feel all the lovin gurl. I miss your boy lah. Bring him out next time! heehehehehhe

ItoMaki said...

Yela, bring your dragon out!! We miss him!!

See why I don't have a boyfriend? XD

Jacqkie! said...

Sweei: hahaha. really? Well, it comes from the heart. :)

Itomaki: OTAY! will bring him out one day lah. If can lah

Beth said...

Damn girl you got me thinking really seriously!!!

hehe. ;)

Jacqkie! said...

Beth: that's the point. the whole point. :)

eSTEFania said...

dats y ma ultmate rule b4 gettin attached 2 sum1 is, i must b so 300% sure bout it...ive learned ma lesson oredi, d guilt was driving me nuts...

i rather b single mserable than havin not enuf sleep by questioning and doubting masef about d guy im dating...

and kie, daren bttr know hw lucky he is, ehehehe...palan2 kmu sna kio...

Jacqkie! said...

stef: i know what you mean. sometimes the confusion is so irritating especially when you're not sure right?

and yeah, i think he knows lah how lucky he is, i know i am. :)