Monday, December 31, 2007

i want to sleep

It's 2.20AM.

...and I cant believe I voluntarily inserted the Trance/ Rave/ House CD in. I'm in desperate need to stay awake, I pray to God that this kind of music will help me.

It kinda did.

I have millions of work to do and I'm not even halfway there. The slavemaster will be around tomorrow after her holidays from Dubai, and I'm not so sure what will happen if I'm not done with my work by 9.30am this morning. I'll be a dead meat like them Char-Siews hanging behind those Chinese Stalls' glass windows. How the hell can I still be random at this time.

The mother and my number one fan (my sister), left for KK at 4 something yesterday. Having a number one fan like Jessy my sissy, can be unproductive sometimes. For each and every word that comes from my mouth is considered a joke or sarcasm. If any of you watched E!'s Diorrhhea video, you'll probably be very estranged to it as I was. Mummy got hooked on the infectious lyrics.

Mum: I have a bad case of Diorrhea!, I have a bad case of Diorrhea!
Jessy: Mummy!!!!!! *giggles*
Me: *whispering to Jessy* I dont think mummy will ever have that problem.
Jessy: *hit me real hard on the arm and laughed histerically while nodding*
Mum: *gave me the stern look* I can hear that.
Me: I know.

I will for sho' miss the Etiqa moments I was made to live these past few days.

"After a crazy meal, only one will prevail on being the first person to use the tiny-weeny-one-and-only toilet in the house!"- Abang.

Abang couldn't tahan living like this, he would complain and whine occasionally. Being the princess in the family (ironically), we'd have to give the most comfortable bed to him. Mum, Jessy and I would take turns sleeping on the floor or on this half century old bed that I actually think is decomposing as I'm writing this.

I need to get back to work. I need to drink lots and lots of coffees. I desperately need someone to abduct my slavemaster so that she wont be coming to work tomorrow. I need a time machine, so that I can stop time; waste it and use it and then use it for more evil purposes. I need Bob Marley's greatest hits (all hits). I need to bank-in my growing-webs cheques. I need to wrap sweet's x'mas gift and give it to him while it's still valid for the seasons.

Last but not least, I need to burn these paperworks once I'm done with internship and the school reports. Wish me luck on that. I'm thinking of open burning, with some magic spells to make it be gone from my low-bandwidth brain for the rest of my life.

If you must, try avoiding New Year's resolutions (which I failed every single year as there will be some random realization of things to change of myself usually few minutes before the countdown- retard). Oh, Have a good New Year's celebration and have a blessed, productive, fun-filled 2008 everyone.

Cheers and Love,
Jacqkie.


Wednesday, December 26, 2007

s-t-u-p-i-d

Yesterday (it's 25th the sacred Christmas Day by the way) at exactly this time around, I felt stupid, idiotic, useless, angry, confused, dissapointed, retarded, basically everything which resembles stupidity in all forms. I felt like giving up, and just conform to those Jacqkie jokes that I get too often, internalized it in my brain and just blardy freaking live with it!

Have I told you that there are Proffession Jokes, Christian Jokes, Family Jokes and just plain Jacqkie jokes? If I start compiling all the stupidness I've done since baby, it'll be thicker than those religious books I bet.

I wanted not to cry. Trust me, I really did. I was trying so hard holding it back but dwelling upon it too much didn't helped and it just felt so comfortable to cry then and there with sweets wrapping his arms around me. I couldn't help but pity sweets for putting up with dating an idiot like me, but loved him more for forcing himself being so understanding of the world renown fact: that I really CAN be THE dumbest girl in the whole world without a doubt. and can still sayang me.

Sorry I couldn't share it with you guys on what happened, because I just dont want too. Only sweets know what happened and I like to keep it that way. I know it's annoying when you start spilling bits and pieces of a secret or something you'd not want anyone to know; but then publicly arousing people to think of the worst cases scenario by writing this, with conclusion you're never gonna tell them what really went down. I know it's a pain in the arse but I need to spill out how I feel- but never the whole story.

Right now, I'm much happier and brighter. Thanks to sweets for making my Christmas Day an awesome one regardless of all the bullcrap that happened to me this week. I was missing him badly and thought I'm unable to see him these few days, but God really work in strange ways and with the tight schedule having my family around, miraculously, I ended up spending Christmas Day this year with him. Thank you for being you, sayang. *smiles widely*

He didn't do anything wrong if you're assuming that, in total contrast, he was the main and only reason I smiled sincerely & genuinely after that shit. I got all soft and smiley when he's around, it really is impossible not to be me again around him. *blushes* The whole day revolved on how stupid I can be. In this context; very, unbelivably, award-winning, you're the man, stupid.

I should really stick a big fat STUPID sticker on my forehead to warn people. OH, if there's a Miss Stupid competition like those beauty pageants, I bet I'll win it with no complications. AND, I can make it as an Ice-breaker, I'll introduce myself as "Stupid Jacqkie" and people will get confuse with the remark, and then I'll begin the conversation!

OMG. I feel really dumb, and please let me feel dumb, for at least a week or two. I want too.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

of this week

I just got back from Singapore, and yes everyone’s home, safe and sound, one piece.

Unfortunately, not all of me; I lost my handphone.

It may sound funny when it happened to you for the second time, but it's no more funny when it happened to you for the 18th billion times. Really, I'm so disappointed at myself, it's seriously unacceptable.

Well, this is what happened:

We reached Singapore's Immigration at about 3pm. I was woken up by my sis, everyone was rushing down to go get all the immigration needs done, I waited for everyone to get down and I was the last one to leave the bus. I was in a rush myself, and wasn't sure whether the bus will fetch us back later from the immigration to the final stop (Beach Road). The American girl sitting next to us left her sweater and I took it with me all the way, chasing after her so that I can give it back to her. I carried it along the way, and passed it to her when I saw her. Ironically, I saved someone’s belonging and left mine instead. So much for believing in Karma. But I still do lah.

Assuming that my precious belonging will still be there, I kept it to myself in hopes that when the bus comes back to fetch us, my Travis will still be there. After an hour or so, the bus was still not there. It just never came!

That's when I finally decided to tell mum and of course prepared myself for the rain of sarcasm that will make this vacation worst; surprisingly and unusually, mummy was really calm. She wasn't pissed off or being provocative at all. She even asked me to use her phone to talk to sweets about it, so that I won’t be depressed the whole time and so that he won’t get worried of me not contacting him the whole day.

They even made a joke out of this whole thing.

Abang: Who do you think can join Amazing Race Asia among us?
Jessy: Jacqkie can lah, she independent and she simply ask people wan.
Abang: Yeahlah, hey imagine she'll reach there first,
*imitating the host's voice* Jacqkie you're the first to arrive, but we have to disqualify you, because you lost your passport, and IC, and handphones along the way. HAHAHAHHAHAH!
Me: .......... mummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mummy: It's true,
Me: .....

and of course this dumb non-blonde (who else), tried calling her sweetheart countlessly since she reached Singapore only to realize (after she reached Johor after the trip), that it was the wrong number all along. An Indian guy finally picked the call up and clarified that it was the wrong number all along and that he’s really not Daren, whether I believe him or not.

I bought a new phone, and am still using the old number, so people please message your contact details to me; I appreciate it very much as right now, sadly, I only have few known contacts in my phone including Digi's Helpline. I feel lost and useless, as I can’t wish everyone Christmas, sadder, I expect them to wish me first so that I can ask who they are. and then, wish them merry christmas. *sigh*

The fact that this elf house of ours is packed with ten adults, is a strange substitute of what I’d hope my Christmas would be. Christmas is different this year, but to have them people I love close to me (literally) is an amazing home-sickness medicated feeling, it’s sweet. I’ve been really physically tired nowadays, maximizing the time I have to spend with them. It really is okay, because they’re never here often. The best part of these would be; coming back to a house where it’s not empty, where you’re not lonely, and instead of the television’s sounds, it’s the sounds of your loved ones whimpering, bickering and of amusing each other. Wonderful.

Will stop here, and will let the pictures tell you abit of Singapore. I have tons of pictures but only chose certain ones that I find amusing to show it to you guys. Till then, have a beautiful Christmas, I’ll leave you yourself to define “beautiful” Christmas, and please message me your number. *giggles*

..a symbiotic relationship.
Orchard Road; the young blood was tired, the queen wasn't.
...more of Orchard Road.
One of the Christmas Decos, I'm still wondering, does Ballet = Christmas?
Angels!
I find this cute, post letters box.
Ways we should try; to encourage people to litter INTO the bin. I think it's around Bras Basah Road.
Is it just me or does Bras Basah sounds funny?
Love,
Jacqkie

Monday, December 17, 2007

Two days!

I cant believe Christmas is just around the corner. Usually at this time around, I would already be all jumpy and excited for Christmas but it's somewhat dull this year. I know that my Chrismassy mood would escalate drastically when I meet up with my family, so now, I'm just waiting for my reasons of living to come down to KL and will spend lots of quality time with them. I miss them, terribly. I really do.

Oh if you're wondering why I have all these funny Christmas images, I have one thing to share with you guys. I personally think Christian/ Christmas jokes and humors are the best. Not the racist jokes, or those proffesion mockings, but Christian jokes yo! I can actually google for it everyday and laugh by myself reading or looking at those pictures, I know, I can be very lifeless at times.

If you remember any part of my previous posts where I talked about my health, just so you know, things actually got worst. My knee caps would be in pain on a regular basis and my whole body gets cold very easily. I have occasional back aches which doesn't allow me to sit-up for so long which leaves me to only one fun activity to do: resting on my back- on my bed. "WOHOO!"

...I feel like an old woman.

What I really loathe about trips and vacations, it would definitely be the whole pre-vacation arrangements. I'm talking about those annoying ticketing and bookings you should make before going on these vacations. Those tons of phone calls you need to make to clarify the bookings and of course make good considerations out of it. Dear God, at this time around where I know you'd really be around (giggles), please let us reach Singapore and reach back in PJ, all of us in one piece, please.

I'm pumped up excited that the evil knievel mummy and bugger jessy would be around in two days time. I need to clean up my room and prepare the beddings for those much more important people to sleep on, with me definitely NOT being one of them. Some of you might know that my house is "cute" where extra room-spaces are considered precious. The last desperate measure would be squeezing my sister to sleep on the same couch (which is also made for elfs I think) with me, as both of us refused to sleep on the floor but prioritized the elderly. Oh well, we'll leave that to critical thinking only when they're here shall we? There's always the lawn right? :D

After going downtown with sweets to buy the bus tickets to Singapore, I told mum to book the hotel as soon as possible since we got the tickets already. This is what I got:

Me: Mummy, how's the hotel booking coming along?
Mummy: I dont know lah girl, worst come to worst we'd have to be like Baby Jesus and sleep in a manger! *laughs to herself*
Me: MUMMY, IT'S NOT FUNNY! *...but i was actually trying hard not to laughlah*

Till then, wait for more updates but I'm pretty excited of leaving my laptop here at home for Singapore. Like I said, laptops should be avoided at this festive season. Have a happy holiday.

Love,
Jacqkie

Friday, December 14, 2007

5 days to go!

It felt just yesterday that I was on my first day of my internship and now left 16 days till I’ll leave this place. The other end of this realization would be that college is starting soon as well. I’m not sure whether I’m thrilled for college as this will be the last semester of our diploma. Some of my friends will be leaving to other places and some may stopped from diploma and would start working immediately.

The point is, once a thing’s started (last semester), you’d definitely be a step closer to the end of having anymore classes together that you loved and hated those days of working together. Regardless, if it wasn’t because of my classmates, I would not have gotten the taste of what college really is and really loved it. And Daren would be the other reason of getting excited going to college of course with my hipocracy explained as I used to swore to myself to never "like" anyone from the same college. and then, he happened. Just like that, without warning.

Wednesday (Thursday 13th December 2007):

8.00 AM: Quiet and alone
Checking emails while browsing facebook. Checking yesterday’s work and start working on what needs to be done later.

10.10AM: Quiet, very cold with few colleagues around.
Checking emails while browsing facebook. Start calling customers for a research and start compiling feedback.

11.15AM: Still quiet, very very cold, and all colleagues are here now.
Checking emails while browsing facebook. Start calling custom…


kkkkkkrinnngggggggg!!!!!

Me: What the hell?! Should we go or something?!


10 seconds later, the coffee bar’s door opened.

“Sorry yah, testing saja tuh bell.”

Me: (jaw dropped) TESTING?!

It’s actually fine by me if the alarm bell was 50 meters away. Since it wasn’t and the fact that it’s actually right behind me, let’s just say; every bosses should do that once in a while. I was actually pretty awake after that.

If there’s anything I’d like to remember about internship it would definitely be the nice curry puffs and coffees I have for breakfast every morning. It’s a routine already and I so love it; it’s actually the other reason for me to go to work besides calling up wrong people and laughed by myself at all those wrong numbers that I called. I remembered there’s this one time where I was so not in the mood of talking to the guy on the other line;

Me: Good Afternoon, is this Edmund? *…and noticed a girl's voice*
Girl: Urm, no??
Me: *still noticing the girl's voice* So this is not Edmund lah?
Girl: ...er, no? I’m not an "Edmund".
Me: Oh, do you mind telling me where's Edmund?
Girl: I... DONT, KNOW!! Okay, I’ll give you another number for you to call okay???

Eventually the girl gave me her husband’s cell number. I felt like whacking myself but couldn’t because the whole thing was so funny I couldn't stop laughing. Anyway, how do I put this delicately; due to Malaysian’s “consistent and very predictable” weather and “stress” of doing “some” work, my skin’s unhappy- and yes I’m having skin complaint! And that’s a lot of inverted commas there I used. Remember the holidays that I’m dying to get approved by my (quote unquote Denise) “Slave- Master” on the 21st and 24th of December?

.................

Well, I really-really wanted the 6days leave, mummy and Jessica are coming down and I wouldn’t want to miss any minute spending time with them. Well, what happened was…

I GOT THE 6 DAYS LEAVE! *evil laugh*

Mummy finally saw Sweets through Friendster and since you’re getting this first-hand too baby, mummy thinks you look young. I don’t really know what she meant but I have a feeling she’s indirectly saying that I look older. So if I look older, he’ll definitely look younger right? But then again, if he looks younger does that mean I look older than him or just old or maybe, he just looks younger than me? You know what, I’m confusing myself.

Still figuring out on how to go to Singapore/ Penang /Melaka at this eleventh hour, I've suggested mummy with *tadaa* TRAIN! I knew she would hate it since she's been traumatized by her previous experience of having to sit in the train for 10 hours and only to reach Singapore looking like crap, was not an option for her. Oh well, any suggestions everyone? Just so you know, one of the best thing about going vacation is not being able to touch your laptop. OMG. I love that feeling, laptops should really be avoided at this festive season!

HAVE A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!

Love,
Jacqkie.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

I'm so excited!

Everytime I'm in the car with mummy, we would never miss this conversation:

Me: *singing to the music* You can stay under my umbrel..
Mummy: *switches channel*
Me: ....I'm singing to it.
Mummy: *..found Lite FM* Wohoo, this is more my music.
Me: But it's old.
Mummy: Which part of me looks young to you?
Me: .....
Mummy: It's my car, it's my petrol, and i'm paying for lunch later. So enjoy my music!
Me: But, meh*, It's weirdlah. Somehow all the birds can sing and all the guys want to cross over the valley just to see the girl. *sigh*
Mummy: *trying hard not to laugh* Hey, it's my car okayy!

However, right now, I'm so obsessed with Lite FM. I couldn't get enough of Lite FM. I used to think they play really slow music, only for those who've been in this world long enough to know all the music, and of course *makes yawning gesture*. I've succumb to Lite FM for pure relaxation and old memories. Although I admit sometimes I absolutely have no clue who those artists are, their exaggaration in lyrics and simple tunes, are dreamy and very soothing. Mummy must be very happy to know that I finally understood that some people are willing to cross over the valley for someone they love...Anyway!

Sorry for the previous emo posts, here are livelier things for you to ogle see. Went to The Curve again with the usual suspects, and watched Enchanted again (eh, dont judge me! I was doing it for my friends :D) and hung out with these best friends of mine.

Oh Kerry, *imitating Giselle's Ah-ah-ah-ah* okay, it may look retarded here, but you get what I mean. Hehehehehe.

The only caption needed: The girl at the right end where you can only see her hair, is Denise!

Have I reminded you that it's the Year End Sale now?

My house here is one of the smallest house in PJ. So my cousin bought this (I think about) 30cm tall Christmas Tree (even elfs' christmas trees are bigger wei). So everytime I see big Christmas trees I get so excited! This one's pretty. But I personally love, white Christmas trees.

Okay, that pretty girl on the right (Sway) wants to take picture with the frozen fella there (Snowman), but the fella is in this small gate and he's actually about few meters away from us, so without anyone's help, she took the picture trying to fit the fella in between us, and *voila!* she did it superbly! *giggling* It was actually freaking hillarious.

The two sweetest girls in my life: Audreeyh and De!

Check out the lovely Christmas Tree!

Sorrylah, but the camera was with us most of the time, so.... yea!

OMG, I MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH!
Kerry, this is actually a very good picture of you! *smiles widely and hopes not to be poke*

Omg, we actually stopped the lift to take this picture. Not for once or twice, but for almost 10minutes! ....and it's blurry for Goodness sake. *shakes head*

Mummy used to tell me not to get so excited about something before it even happens. "You could be very dissapointed with the outcome if you have so many expectations, or worse, that day just wouldn't come!" But this particular thing is so worth getting excited tooooo!

12 days to go for mummy and Jessy to come to KL! I'm so excited you have no idea. Was thinking of taking 2days leave, on the 21st and on the 24th- so that I'll have 6days off! I'm so freaking excited. The thing is, havent ask my Master about it. Darn, will do next week. Wish me luck in getting these two days off!

Love,
Jacqkie.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Get to know what it feels like

Remember this?

"They pushed themselves around and played with each other's hair. Both wearing simple shirts and trousers. Whispering of things i'd not want to know. She was skinny, short-haired, with thick glasses. Acnes covered most of his face, he has short undefined haircut, and was smiling amusingly, which I assume at his appreciated jokes.

They seem so.. happy? trouble-free? i'd say in love. Puppy love. The really fun puppy love. It never failed to make me smile. It was like a scene I visualized from a book I read, a young couple pleased with each other's companion more than anything in the world. It was everything they thought they needed. Looking at them, love seems so believable and innocent.
I was lost in my thoughts after seeing the young lovebirds. The only thing I remember was asking myself;

.......What. The Hell. Am I. Looking. For. In Them?"
August 24, 2007

CLICK HERE to read the complete post

It isn't about me now. Or us. I'm writing down my thoughts because I accidentally came across this post I wrote when I was still in my solitary days.

Infatuation is probably the most exciting feeling one could have. But, it's purposeless. Or maybe, temporary. Some people may like the whole idea of having things temporary or no strings attached, keeping things then and there or people in this case as much and as "professional" as you can. But I wonder, really, why would we human do that? Why do we chase for something temporary when you could have that one reason to wake up in the morning?

I've always been naive, and everyone I love have always been worried for me on how this wicked world would treat such person like me. Getting back into a relationship is, like walking on a piece of glass sometimes. You'd never know what to expect, or maybe what to hope. For someone like me who'd give up anything to live a simple life, and not be bugged by drama, living under a shell with a book in my hand, is probably the best life I could imagine. But then I realized that I'm only human, where heartfelt is a huge part of my decision making and that humans shouldn't run from problems and drama in life but bitch-slap it and embrace the lesson learned.

As much as I want to believe that loving someone with all your heart is all it takes to make the world go round- I personally dont agree to it completely. Loving someone is an amazing feeling, it dissolves one's imperfections and even expectations. You accomodate to the person you love's reactions, feelings, concerns, hopes. You'd jump across the bridge to get to your loved one (figure of speech of course), you'd wear bright orange just cause your partner thinks it looks good on you, you'd sing for her eventhough it would be the most embarassing thing you'd ever have to do, you decided to listen to only one person and it's her, or maybe you'd bake a cake for her, just cause, she's worth baking the cake for but later you'll realized it's your time you sacrificed expressed in form of a material.

A relationship is sacred, fun, and something you'll learn no matter what the outcome. So why go for something short, uncertain and maybe it's somewhat deprived of? I get really tired of listening to people's love stories of how things turned ugly in the end or even blurry, uncertainty, not knowing what did you get from it besides the romping and extra contacts. Stop conforming to the movies and that wild world, start believing in karma, and hoped for a nice day by looking within yourself. Really.

Getting someone involved with you is one beautiful feeling, if that two people can really become one- complete each other's sentence, understood what each other meant and maybe listen while the other one is talking, it would be something you've passed the infatuation stage and hopefully, you'll looked back and saw that there were two set of footprints all along the long and winding road- yours and hers.

Sue me, I'm a no body to speak about relationships like this. I've gone through shit myself and was always doubtful. I just feel, like I want to have a say on it for now, the previous post tingled me. Cleo once told me, to get to the right guy you'd have to go through all the wrong ones, but please people, if you already know that guy isn't for you before you get together with him- stick to being single and browse through your catalog again and wait for that nice guy you've always wanted.

As for me, I've found my nice guy, by far the sweetest and the best thing that's ever happened to me this year. You know the couple I described above? I saw that in us.

I'm writing this, cause, relationships, they... make you, me think.

Love,
Jacqkie.