I wont tell anyone

I want to blog about this one particular thing that's been bothering me but I feel restricted and frankly, I am scared.

The truth is, I am very much afraid of people seeing my vulnerability or worst actually understanding it. Especially when it comes to this matter. I hate it. I'd crawl back to my bed at 3AM in the morning, poke her- pour it to the one person that knows me inside and out without even listening or looking at me, my sister, instead of trusting this therapy- that I thought sometimes would work.

"I saw you blush lah Jacqkie."
"...Noooo. Urm, I don't know lah Ika."
"Body language don't lie okay. I think that fella is stupid for not being able to figure that out."
"...BUT. I was the one that made him not being able to figure it out."
"...whatever it is. Not until you'll regret it."

Interpersonal communication gives me more assurance and realistic companionship. I know you agree with me on this.

The thing is, whatever's happenening to me right now, feels good. Feels really really darn good. It's just I dont know how to spill it, from where through what perspective- how to, It's weird.

I wish I was one of those girls that knows what to say and when to say it, you know? Get that piece and damn it, enjoy it! Parade whatever they owned and never looked back.

*sigh*

whatever happens. happens.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Comments

Beth said…
is it HIM?

I know how it feels not knowing how to express something, to people, to your blog. ;) And talking to your sister is always the best therapy, cause who knows you better right?

and about that guy i was talking about................

he happens to be a very close friend. that's the problem.

its some kind of rule you dont fall for you guy best friend y'know? sigh...
sweei said…
Gosh, the last part reminds me abit of my blog post you just commented. "whatever happens. happens" * i feel ya gurl *

But it's good to know you can always depend on your lil sis to help give some perspective since she knows you best inside and out.

I wonder who that person is though... But whatever you're feeling right now in which you say feels damnnn good, seems like a good thing! Right?

You'll know when to spill it. You definitely WILL know when's the right time.

IF you can't, we your friends can always help give that extra BOOST!

;)
Jacqkie! said…
beth: It's not him. I think. I'm not sure who we're talking about. haha. But i dont think it's him. This is unpredictable.

sway: please dont give me booze and make me spill the beans! I'll kill youuuu guys! :D
sweei said…
LOL, hmmm, not a bad IDEA! never thought of booze. kekeke, one bottle coming UP!

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