Showing posts from October, 2007


Dear Jacqkie,


What the heck happened to your Black Hat when it comes to this matter?
Stop smiling and blardy throw that grin away everytime before you sleep will you?!'s only been 18days. 18 blardy freaking days and you're gone? You better remind yourself this is entirely your call.

You better know what you're doing. and dont blame anyone if things would sucked.

This is all you. Get Calyn- ready shall you need that brutal remarks.

Jacqueline Rowena Jinuin Jimin

We're strange creatures

The previous post might be in a happier note.

..NOT, this one.

I was very much happy about everything until I talked to someone in MSN about it. (Yes, it was with YOU- girl). I'm not blaming you for sure, I'm just now suddenly worried and confused. or rather, concerned of things that were brought up.

Re. to my title, women are strange creatures. Really!

We can feel so many emotions at the same time, it can be tiring and very much confusing. We tend to allow our emotions take control of our actions or even our expressions on things. But then again, we have so many things going on within us, we dont know which one to take charge of. We assume what we're doing is right. And when we're not sure, we contradict ourself. Again and again. And again... When in the end, we're still unsure of whether we're doing is right or..

Honestly speaking, I cant even begin to explain what the heck I'm feeling right now. It's so ambiguos. I know I feel something, and that's wh…


Of course I expect something. Something out of all these.

Will I be crushed into pieces if none of these things become fruitful? Honestly- I would, more than into pieces I guess. I've never really entertained anyone this much for the past two years.

Smile. Smile. Smile. Smile. Smile. SMILES.

..and yes, Mazidah, Kerry, Denise, Audrey, Sway, Paul and Carol. It's HIM i'm talking about.

That's what he gave me.


I want to pack my whole family to KL

Abang: Do you know that there are two types of drinks?
Me: *makes interested fake face* ...what.
Abang: I'll take Kopi for example. Kopi kurang-manis and kopi....
KENCING MANIS! Hahahahahahahahaha!
Me: *trying hard not to laugh* ....God, you actually make sense.

*** Me: Mummy, I burned my tongue last night during Steamboat! Mummy: Okayla bah tuh. You have something to remember it about. Me: -.-" *** Me: Jessy, I cant see clearly in the rain. We're gonnaaaa dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Jessy: You better dont kill us. I haven't eaten Abang's Steamboat yet.
Me: -.-"

If you ever thought I'm a funny girl, maybe through my blog or even knowing me personally, you should really, really meet my family.

My mummy, brother and sissy are like the funniest people around and I just can't get enough of them. Seriously. I'd wake up early in the morning just so that I could spend more time with them and sleep early in the morning just to see them sleep first.

Although I admit I feel li…

I wont tell anyone

I want to blog about this one particular thing that's been bothering me but I feel restricted and frankly, I am scared.

The truth is, I am very much afraid of people seeing my vulnerability or worst actually understanding it. Especially when it comes to this matter. I hate it. I'd crawl back to my bed at 3AM in the morning, poke her- pour it to the one person that knows me inside and out without even listening or looking at me, my sister, instead of trusting this therapy- that I thought sometimes would work.

"I saw you blush lah Jacqkie."
"...Noooo. Urm, I don't know lah Ika."
"Body language don't lie okay. I think that fella is stupid for not being able to figure that out."
"...BUT. I was the one thatmade him not being able to figure it out."
"...whatever it is. Not until you'll regret it."

Interpersonal communication gives me more assurance and realistic companionship. I know you agree with me on this.

The thing is, whate…

Sway's Birthday!

I am never going back KL.

Obviously that's one really big fat in-denial lie. I must say life has been rather sweet lately. Especially since I step down from that plane to see my sister and mummy waving at me.

Sorry for delaying this post dear Sway. We went to Atrium that day to celebrate Sway's 19th birthday with no intention to get her drunk or even, tipsy. (Okay- Maybe I had that at the back of my mind)

I dont think she's ever gotten tipsy as well, right Sway? But OMG i tell you it was so hillarious when she was tipsy! If I could, I would relive that moment over and over and over again. It's just really. so . funny.
Blurry Pic- Carol, Sway (Birthday Girl), Audrey, Me, Kerry and Caroline. Started already lah.. I am never sure whether Sway's drunk or it's just her sometimes :DPreetys.
Raya this year is not healthy. I've been feeding myself with tons of (DAMN-YOU) good food. Someone should stop me and even worst, my brother. That boy can eat man! And I cannot b…

Not nice to meet you.

..and I thought I was ignorant.

some people are just unforgivable when it comes to their ignorance. It's frustrating to know that after all that i'm still like that bug on the wall. dude, are you serious?What about the rest? Are you seriously like blind and deaf when you're talking to these people? I suggest the next time you talk to other people the least you could do is pretend you know them, or maybe write down their name on a piece of paper. Seriously. That pisses me off. After all that we've gone through, you do what you do best again: ignore. Enjoy your temporary wind-breeze when all those ants behind you carried you all along.

I'm not surprise if you dont make it far or maybe, disliked by your colleagues that knows you're oh-so-fake. I forgave you that's for sure, I guess you just need to hit it rock-bottom.

On a lighter note.

Things I should really-really internalize in my brain:

a) Hand-cuff your hands and get away from the computer and books for a-whi…

Hypocrite talking!

I'm a hypocrite.

I like having a great time with my girlfriends and friends in the club or any parties but I can’t allow myself to "find" men from there. Why?

I will make some brutal assumptions/ judgements so bear with me.

I hate the fact that they're asking girls for numbers just because the atmosphere (or drinks) can make them to. I hate the fact that these people live and breathe entertainment or cigarettes just for that night, while scouting for girls who are just as lonelier as they are on the inside. I hate the fact it's them who decide whose hot and who's not. I hate the fact that maybe; just maybe their other half is not there with them knowing that they’re doing all these. And what's worst, I hate the fact that there will always be someone like me amongst them, but because of the place he's in, I stereotyped all of them alike.

I’d scoot free myself with these assumptions of myself by myself in the name of fun. How unfair of me.

…And there I am in…

Mummy's Day!

..yes, mummy's birthday is two days after my birthday. Every year I self-proclaim- that I am my mum's best birthday gift ever. Mummy would always make this puking sounds and re-tell us the story where because of me she was stuck in the hospital with this reddish living thing (me! me! me!) which I assume, confirms to the statement that I AM without a doubt her best birthday gift ever. *grins*

As the mummy's girl I am, mummy always want to know what I'm doing for my birthday or I’d tell her what I’ve been up to. How I'd celebrate it far from home and without she wishing it to me directly any more and calling me the birthday girl on my day. I miss it!

She sent me an MMS of her cutting a cake today. And I got very emotional after that.

From the fact that I'm not there to celebrate with her to some random thoughts of complicated "them" in my life to my internship to calyn's gift for me (which is a pair of Bonita earrings btw), I got so emotional in the bu…

ME day!

Some suggested your annual day is the day:

a) you should get youself wasted
b) you should get "dis-flowered" or maybe, just maybe
c) dump that pest who've been clinging on to you the past few months (I'd say must be because of the first reason)

I, on the other hand believe that a happy day like your birth-day, should always be spent with the people you love. wasted or not wasted.

It's 2.18am now, so technically my day is officially over. I woke up at 6.10 early in the morning to find tons of messages and missed calls. Ignored it, I smiled by myself and warned myself: that the entire day is entirely up to me and gave my reflection on the mirror a wink*.

Going to a communication symposium on your birthday, spending around 4-5 hours listening to these communication experts "discussing", which I assumed not in English (some of it was WAY too intellectual for me), I admit, it almost killed me. Okay maybe notlar, maybe almost carried me to some very-very-very happy…