Monday, October 29, 2007

Grins

Dear Jacqkie,

OMG.

What the heck happened to your Black Hat when it comes to this matter?
Stop smiling and blardy throw that grin away everytime before you sleep will you?! ..it's only been 18days. 18 blardy freaking days and you're gone? You better remind yourself this is entirely your call.

You better know what you're doing. and dont blame anyone if things would sucked.

This is all you. Get Calyn- ready shall you need that brutal remarks.

Love,
Jacqueline Rowena Jinuin Jimin

Saturday, October 27, 2007

We're strange creatures

The previous post might be in a happier note.

..NOT, this one.

I was very much happy about everything until I talked to someone in MSN about it. (Yes, it was with YOU- girl). I'm not blaming you for sure, I'm just now suddenly worried and confused. or rather, concerned of things that were brought up.

Re. to my title, women are strange creatures. Really!

We can feel so many emotions at the same time, it can be tiring and very much confusing. We tend to allow our emotions take control of our actions or even our expressions on things. But then again, we have so many things going on within us, we dont know which one to take charge of. We assume what we're doing is right. And when we're not sure, we contradict ourself. Again and again. And again... When in the end, we're still unsure of whether we're doing is right or..

Honestly speaking, I cant even begin to explain what the heck I'm feeling right now. It's so ambiguos. I know I feel something, and that's why I chose to blog it- to remind me I'm pretty much messed up at this moment in time. But what the heck is it?

In conclusion, this post is pointless. I just needed to tell you guys how I felt before that feeling leaves me again. Or the feelings leave me again.

Let's hope Cheryn's costume-birthday party will make me forget of these things. Weeeee! Okay-okay, so i've decided on something kinky. Thanks to all my friends who were so excited with my new glasses. I'm still not sure coming as "Kinky ____" what.

I went for the Mesiniaga interview the other day. It went.. very well actually. They were very interested in me that they told me then and there that I got the placement. The problem is, am I interested? I will only confirm with them by next week and I blardy darn hope that I will get other calls from other companies by then.

I need to give myself options (good placement good money ahem). Just kiddinglah. As long as I love that place it wouldn't be a problem right?

My lovely cousin Kakak Milla got engaged last Saturday but I dont have the pictures to share it with you guys. :( I was one of her Pengangkat Dulang girls and I was of course a bit blur about it since it was my first time as a Pengangkat Dulang.

CONGRATULATIONS KAKAK MILLA!


Till then, never underestimate the power of cleavage- Kerry Ng. Hahahahha. I dont knowlah, I just feel like saying that. and may God bless me in the finals next week, as I haven't touched any of my notes at all. I know it's somewhere in my room.

Things to do after finals:
a) Working attire shopping.
b) %8&^$#9- %$#@* ( [un]fortunately it's not something vulgar)
c) Continue reading my book.
d) TRY MAKING MY POSTS STICKING TO ONE THEME OR ONE IDEA. not scattered like this!

Love,
Jacqkie.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Smiles

Of course I expect something. Something out of all these.

Will I be crushed into pieces if none of these things become fruitful? Honestly- I would, more than into pieces I guess. I've never really entertained anyone this much for the past two years.

Smile. Smile. Smile. Smile. Smile. SMILES.

..and yes, Mazidah, Kerry, Denise, Audrey, Sway, Paul and Carol. It's HIM i'm talking about.

That's what he gave me.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Friday, October 19, 2007

I want to pack my whole family to KL

Abang: Do you know that there are two types of drinks?
Me: *makes interested fake face* ...what.
Abang: I'll take Kopi for example. Kopi kurang-manis and kopi....
KENCING MANIS! Hahahahahahahahaha!
Me: *trying hard not to laugh* ....God, you actually make sense.

***
Me: Mummy, I burned my tongue last night during Steamboat!
Mummy: Okayla bah tuh. You have something to remember it about.
Me: -.-"
***
Me: Jessy, I cant see clearly in the rain. We're gonnaaaa dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Jessy: You better dont kill us. I haven't eaten Abang's Steamboat yet.
Me: -.-"

***

If you ever thought I'm a funny girl, maybe through my blog or even knowing me personally, you should really, really meet my family.

My mummy, brother and sissy are like the funniest people around and I just can't get enough of them. Seriously. I'd wake up early in the morning just so that I could spend more time with them and sleep early in the morning just to see them sleep first.

Although I admit I feel like strangling them at times, but it's only because they are just so funny, caring and dang it lovable. I would say my family unit is the best of anything I've ever owned in my life. Period.

We're like some gang or something. You mess with one of us, you're messing with all of us. Cehwah. We stick together all the time, and we actually prefer to hang out with each other more than going out separately. It's as if, we're some good friends who loves chilling out with each other or something. We got the wise (and quite oldlah) one, the wacko menace (...the genius Dr who lose it sometimes- wait ALL THE TIME), we got the blonde and slow (It's hard for me to admit this) one and we got the listener patient one (you can actually talk to my sister about the same thing again and again and she'll stay and STILL answer you even if she's stoned).

Did you know, I sengaja set my brother's huge ass alarm clock at 2.00AM in the morning last Monday? It scared and woke the shit out of him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA. I damn proud of myself man! I dont usually do these suicidal things.

.....and he did the same thing to me the next night. Kurang Asam. I almost had a heart attack while chatting at 2.15AM in the morning.

....and my sister was still sleeping like a baby and wasn't shaken by the alarm at all although we put the clock as near as 10cm to her ear. Ganjillah my sister.

Oh. I've gotten my glasses. and please STOP INCORPORATING MY GLASSES OR ME WITH ANYTHING SEXUAL OR SENSUAL. I teeeelll you, people been telling me I looked like some seductive secretary or even a naughty teacher. Kesian those innocent glasses doh. and innocent me.... aheeeem. *whistles*

Okay, maybe this pose is not so innocent after all.
I damn envy my sister's smile. So sweet and she got dimples!

Love,
Jacqkie.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I wont tell anyone

I want to blog about this one particular thing that's been bothering me but I feel restricted and frankly, I am scared.

The truth is, I am very much afraid of people seeing my vulnerability or worst actually understanding it. Especially when it comes to this matter. I hate it. I'd crawl back to my bed at 3AM in the morning, poke her- pour it to the one person that knows me inside and out without even listening or looking at me, my sister, instead of trusting this therapy- that I thought sometimes would work.

"I saw you blush lah Jacqkie."
"...Noooo. Urm, I don't know lah Ika."
"Body language don't lie okay. I think that fella is stupid for not being able to figure that out."
"...BUT. I was the one that made him not being able to figure it out."
"...whatever it is. Not until you'll regret it."

Interpersonal communication gives me more assurance and realistic companionship. I know you agree with me on this.

The thing is, whatever's happenening to me right now, feels good. Feels really really darn good. It's just I dont know how to spill it, from where through what perspective- how to, It's weird.

I wish I was one of those girls that knows what to say and when to say it, you know? Get that piece and damn it, enjoy it! Parade whatever they owned and never looked back.

*sigh*

whatever happens. happens.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Sway's Birthday!

I am never going back KL.

Obviously that's one really big fat in-denial lie. I must say life has been rather sweet lately. Especially since I step down from that plane to see my sister and mummy waving at me.

Sorry for delaying this post dear Sway. We went to Atrium that day to celebrate Sway's 19th birthday with no intention to get her drunk or even, tipsy. (Okay- Maybe I had that at the back of my mind)

I dont think she's ever gotten tipsy as well, right Sway? But OMG i tell you it was so hillarious when she was tipsy! If I could, I would relive that moment over and over and over again.
It's just really. so . funny.

Blurry Pic- Carol, Sway (Birthday Girl), Audrey, Me, Kerry and Caroline. Started already lah.. I am never sure whether Sway's drunk or it's just her sometimes :DPreetys.

Raya this year is not healthy. I've been feeding myself with tons of (DAMN-YOU) good food. Someone should stop me and even worst, my brother. That boy can eat man! And I cannot believe I brought my notes all the way from KL to KK to finish my assignment. Kejam betul.

Oh, I've made my glasses. I dont know whether I'll be the kinky teacher, the hot secretary or just the ...nerd-nerd. Wont be depending on it too much. Cannot, cannot, cannot.

I just realized when-ever my brother talks about his "medic stuffs" as they say it, I get so intrigued and excited. I'm his number one "medical advices and stories" fan I tell you and I'll ask him tonnes of questions, and he's never pissed about it! Cun kan?

After all that, if he still can't figure it out, I'm going to slap him real hard it'll make him cry. Or maybe just not see him ever again. I dont know what's going to happen.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Not nice to meet you.

..and I thought I was ignorant.

some people are just unforgivable when it comes to their ignorance. It's frustrating to know that after all that i'm still like that bug on the wall. dude, are you serious? What about the rest? Are you seriously like blind and deaf when you're talking to these people? I suggest the next time you talk to other people the least you could do is pretend you know them, or maybe write down their name on a piece of paper. Seriously. That pisses me off. After all that we've gone through, you do what you do best again: ignore. Enjoy your temporary wind-breeze when all those ants behind you carried you all along.

I'm not surprise if you dont make it far or maybe, disliked by your colleagues that knows you're oh-so-fake. I forgave you that's for sure, I guess you just need to hit it rock-bottom.

On a lighter note.

Things I should really-really internalize in my brain:

a) Hand-cuff your hands and get away from the computer and books for a-while you minx!
b) It’s going to be over soon. Just 3 more days, baby, 3 more days.
c) Stop being so emotional when you’re watching those Raya advertisements will you?!
d) Remember to buy that thing you were looking just now.
e)…and clothes for internship. VERY IMPORTANT.
f) Better fix your communication skills, because if not, you’ll look like a bimbo gurl. It's not funny!
g) Stop saying “Huh?” /“What did you say?” /“Apa?” /“What?” or anything alike because you’re irritating the hell out of everyone! Just put on a smile if you’re not sure what they are saying after three times of them repeating it! (slaps head)
h) …not during internship though. Please ask when you have to!
i) Do not fall asleep when you’re watching a musical. And that means the movie Hairspray when you're going to watch it with your sister in KK. *shakes-head*
j) Stop judging people who judges other people. You can join their club then- if that's the case.
k) Raya is all about the gathering- not about your baby cousins that you can practically throw in the air and chase around!
l) …it’s not about the food either. :( *Gathering Jacqkie- Gathering*
m) Just in case you forgot. Family first, then friends.
n) I'm hotter than I think I am? *makes weird-out face*
o) Get the Lisa Loeb glasses if you like it so much.

Oh, keep it coming yo-keep it coming! :D

Love,
Jacqkie.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Hypocrite talking!

I'm a hypocrite.

I like having a great time with my girlfriends and friends in the club or any parties but I can’t allow myself to "find" men from there. Why?

I will make some brutal assumptions/ judgements so bear with me.

I hate the fact that they're asking girls for numbers just because the atmosphere (or drinks) can make them to. I hate the fact that these people live and breathe entertainment or cigarettes just for that night, while scouting for girls who are just as lonelier as they are on the inside. I hate the fact it's them who decide whose hot and who's not. I hate the fact that maybe; just maybe their other half is not there with them knowing that they’re doing all these. And what's worst, I hate the fact that there will always be someone like me amongst them, but because of the place he's in, I stereotyped all of them alike.

I’d scoot free myself with these assumptions of myself by myself in the name of fun. How unfair of me.

…And there I am in the same place, with the same intentions as they are when I’m playing around. I try my best avoiding them which I always fail miserably as some random X-Y-Z would always come up to me with his hands and intentions to wrap himself all over me. (GROSS!)

I’m just waiting for that day, that day when I’m finally tired of all these outings.

Because right now, I’m not! :D

News of the day: I will be wearing glasses *thunder sounds* in 2 weeks time. (Yes Denise, I went for eyes-check already). After months of having blurry eye-sight especially when it comes to textual slides and people’s faces, I realize damn it, I do have eyesight-problems!

I have a feeling my friends will dance and rejoice for the day I will be wearing glasses. I can actually visualize my sister laughing her ass off at me since I’m now in-away disable just like her when I made fun of her when she can’t see when we go swimming. Karma is a *gritting teeth*

I’m surprising my KK friends as well. Maybe not who’s reading this (DUH jacqkie-duh).

So please do open your houses (literally) as I will gate-crash it with a huge smile and a bigger appetite! …and please pretend to be surprise. It helps. Really... Haha!

Oh, I attended The Stop Child Sexual Abuse Campaign last night and went straight to clubbing.


Kerry!
Carol! My mum will be so proud of me, that necklace for clubbing yo!
Denise!..where's Paul?
One of my favourite local act as well. Juwita Suwito. She's seriously awesome.

I saw this really cute 4-year old girl this morning, fixing her thin smooth black hair, and sulk "un-believably adorable" when she couldn't do it by herself after 30seconds of struggling. She smiled sheepishly at me and gave the ribbon to her mum, surrendering her un-fruitful action.

and I asked myself.

"Who in their right mind would torture so brutally these beautiful little people?"

and I got slightly emo after that.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Mummy's Day!

..yes, mummy's birthday is two days after my birthday. Every year I self-proclaim- that I am my mum's best birthday gift ever. Mummy would always make this puking sounds and re-tell us the story where because of me she was stuck in the hospital with this reddish living thing (me! me! me!) which I assume, confirms to the statement that I AM without a doubt her best birthday gift ever. *grins*

As the mummy's girl I am, mummy always want to know what I'm doing for my birthday or I’d tell her what I’ve been up to. How I'd celebrate it far from home and without she wishing it to me directly any more and calling me the birthday girl on my day. I miss it!

She sent me an MMS of her cutting a cake today. And I got very emotional after that.

From the fact that I'm not there to celebrate with her to some random thoughts of complicated "them" in my life to my internship to calyn's gift for me (which is a pair of Bonita earrings btw), I got so emotional in the bus thinking where and what life has brought me.


The point is, I really miss my mummy!! ...and that really pretty cake of hers! Dang it!

Sunday Dinner. The very horny naughty birthday girl.
Calyn, the replica of my sis and her birthday is the same as mummy's! Scary Kerry, Audreyh! and Beh darling.
ps. this Italian restaurant has bendera Malaysia yo. Awesome.

Carol! The new couple who can't get their hands off each other.
It's something a corporate PR should play I must say! The girl who actually dedicated a post for me. Sway. LOVE YOU.


In conlusion,

a) never eat in that shop again. Like i've said, I wont say anything to defame anyone or restaurant in this case. (PEE-CALL-LAW MAWN-DOH) *whistling*
b) I will always be a mummy's girl, wherever I am. and whatever you say.
c) Let them come to you. Not you go to them.
d) Birthdays are like eating-marathon. People feed you non-stop man.
e) I should grow up and stop calling my mum, mummy. *makes sad face*

Thank you Sway for all the pics! :)


Love,
Jacqkie

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

ME day!

Some suggested your annual day is the day:

a) you should get youself wasted
b) you should get "dis-flowered" or maybe, just maybe
c) dump that pest who've been clinging on to you the past few months (I'd say must be because of the first reason)

I, on the other hand believe that a happy day like your birth-day, should always be spent with the people you love. wasted or not wasted.

It's 2.18am now, so technically my day is officially over. I woke up at 6.10 early in the morning to find tons of messages and missed calls. Ignored it, I smiled by myself and warned myself: that the entire day is entirely up to me and gave my reflection on the mirror a wink*.

Going to a communication symposium on your birthday, spending around 4-5 hours listening to these communication experts "discussing", which I assumed not in English (some of it was WAY too intellectual for me), I admit, it almost killed me. Okay maybe notlar, maybe almost carried me to some very-very-very happy dreamland. If y'know what I mean. *wink*

you know like reading and drinking coffee relaxing in my room back in Sabah kinda dream?

...Anyway, It was only during the lunch time did I realize I better start mingling with these "industry people" as they've mentioned in the previous slides, undergraduates with great communication skills are always tick-ed first. After a couple of introductions, I met a couple of people (apparently they are in the same college-duh), my lecturers which I get to see outside of college- Yahooo! "again", and some young girls I totally forgot their name,

I believe my communication skills is believably-bad :(

Regardless, after some last minute discussion of our own, my friends and I agreed on going to MidValley to have dinner together. After messaging a couple of my friends who weren't there experiencing the slow-death symposium, some even replied with a "happy birthday" wishes instead of the confirmation on coming to join us.

-.-"

I have a feeling I kind-a reminded them (which includes my brother-DAMN SAD) it's my birthday today instead of asking them to join me. Haha!

Oh well. After spending hours of talking to these people that I get to see everyday which seems never-enough, before they leaved, I hugged them so tight I thank God every minute I spent with them, appreciating I am not wasted at this moment in time and loving their company more than anything else.

Reached home with a really sore feet (18 hours of high-heels okay), my cousin surprised me with a Secret Recipe birthday cake. God really did hear my prayer when I was drooling over some random cake in the car as I havent had a piece of any birthday cake. The cake was so random I didn't even know what I had in mind! I kinda gave up on it on the way home.....

Then *poof* Chocolate (something-something?) cake in front of my laptop! *smiles*

Having been treated really nice like "excusing me for my slow-ness on getting those high-end jokes my friends make all the time"- is damn fun! :P Hahaha.

Besides that: I watched a chick-flick Chuck & Larry (Adam Sandler & Kevin James are the cutest!), had my name doodled all over a paper on the shop's table -NOT ME, had assignments at the back of my mind, really-really lovely presents, great company and more assignments at the back of my mind, I am glad it went the way it did.

OH! and someone complimented me on having "a really nice skin" today. Confused by what she meant, I managed to smiled shyly and thanked her.

That actually contributed 60% to the great day I had yesterday. hahaha. Nola, I'm never that vain!

*nodding* Hahahah!

I am dead exhausted right now. Thank you so much for your wishes, phone-calls, hugs, kisses, presents, concerns, love, worries, everything to anything. Really! You guys made me feel so special todaaaayyyyy!

To Jessica my baby sister: I will be back soon. I love you and when you're done with PMR i'll bring you out (just movies, alcohol and drug free sister-sister time) every night okay! :)

Love,
Jacqkie.