Friday, July 27, 2007

Oh, this is how I got my back-ache?

He introduced himself as *John. The first thing i noticed about him was his straight white bite. I knew instantly he isn't what i hope he is. He had a pink purplish shirt and well-groomed spiky hair. His nerdy look reminded me of Daniel Radcllife in no-where else but you-know where. By looking at his flawless skin, i'm guessing it was just yesterday he had a shave. He was slightly taller than me, but shorter than him, and just when i thought i couldn't be anymore right he muttered it to us;

"I'm a dancer. A Ballroom dancer."

With his charming humility i wonder where did the energy and spirit of a dancer in him came from. when asked which dance was the hardest, he gave the usual-awwww answer which no girl can resist,

"I'm not sure. If you really love dancing, like I do, it should be okay, and I can always teach you."
*and flashes that smile again*

I'm no-where near his league. He's very cute, and very homo-sexual. *sigh*

It's been physically painful for me this week. My back hurts and it could only be because i was spending too much time in front of the computer working on my assignments (aishmen!). No, seriously. I receive up to 30emails per day. INSANE i tell you.

Did i tell you that it feels like Christmas in July? Denise bought me the blue travis and my cousins bought me a bracelet and a big bag. I'm beginning to think i look like a very in-need person. Which i have to agree 50% of that because i'm not so much of a big spender.

I bought my sister a humourous birthday card. The girl's turning 15 on the 9th. Am still thinking of what to buy for her. I was thinking of getting her an MP3. but i dont know, she'd most probably be carrying that thing around with no songs in it. so i guess i'l buy that for her on Christmas. need to do proper briefing to her on how to put music files and stuff.

I attended a church meeting today. which was a screening of an interview with an exorcist. mum called me in the middle of the screening. I msged her;

"I'm in a church meeting. Sorry."
"wow. God Bless You."
"hmm.. I'm watching an interview with an exorcist."
"oh my gosh. God Bless You, again."


Okay, i'm a media (Like Seriously) dependent. Let me list down the must watch for me every week.

1. Berita TV3
2. America's Next Top Model
3. Prison Break (DONT GIVE ME THAT LOOK)
4. Used to watch Ugly Betty & Desperate Housewives
5. Pirate Master
6. Used to watch CSI 7
7. How I met Your Mother
8. My Name is Earl
8. 30 Rock (MUST)
9. even The Apprentice (OMG, i know)
10. Gol & Gincu
11. The Hills
12. Rob & Big

Be grateful that you're not me. Be very grateful.

I was laughing so hard with Karen in the bus on Wednesday, i didnt realized my bottle cap wasn't properly closed. I had to walk back home with a huge wet stain on my jeans. It seriously looked like i wet my pants on the bus.

Oh. Karen dreamt that both of us were being chased by a model Ju-On by the way.

One last random thing. Longan-Thai (Mata Kucing) i bought from Giant in Pyramid was so freaking-ohmygosh-blardy delicious. I was practically sucking the juices out of those round things. Oh my gosh, it's soooooo good i tell you! It's really really really sedap ok!

If you're reading this, it means that you have succesfully finished reading this annoying-pictureless post. :) Congrats!

*Name changed for confidentiality purposes.


Friday, July 20, 2007


i have learned something this week. guilty is a real shitty feeling. really shitty. not that i'm not aware of this fact before, but until this week, i have experienced this feeling deeply and i freaking hate it. it eats you inside and it makes you feel like you're the meanest person in the world. but bring it on i say! i mean, i'll try my best to avoid this feeling again.


it's not that i have ripped a person's heart with my bare hands and let the person die from pain (hiperbola?), it's just that i finally did the things that i should have done. it's as simple as that. you know the right thing(s) to do kinda thing? whoever said doing the right thing should be regularly be practiced.....

is a Student's Councilor. or learning Psychology :( coz it's damn hard sometimes.

i thank you Kerry Darling for bringing me out last night with my girlfriends. for sending me home although the jam in Federal was like hell. Thank You so much Kerry! :) and hope you do had fun last night on your 20.07.2007 birthday! :D

After a couple of weeks of college, i finally met up again with my first ever college lecturer and also the man who put other lecturers to shame (like really!) for he is by far the best lecturer/teacher/tutor i have ever known so far. After getting 2As in both of his not-so-easy classes and learning more than just the ABCs of college, i'm quite pleased to see Mr Indy again. The man who brightened my dim perception of life, when i just stepped to college about a year ago. it's really nice to see you again Mr Indy and i bet everyone of your students feels the same way.

Ohya, my lovely friend Denise bought me another Travis! weee! i was at a class waiting for it to begin when she handed me the Blue Felton Bottle with a little note on it. I read it and went ecstatic! I wanted to hug that angel but she was in sweat from walking, so i could only say thanks to her. Babe, thank you so much! You have no idea how much that bottle means to meeee! As ya'll know i'm a green fan. I dont know if this is bias, but by far Blue Travis is the Travis i love the most! When i put Blue Travis on my study table, i see everything around it green. alllllllll greenyy. the fact that it's blue instantly reminded me that it's something i get from someone i love, man it was from Darling Denise! and how freaking happy that makes me feel!

After almost 2years in college, i finally realized i'm only "human". I dont really hate people, it's a really strong word i shall say but i'm not a fan of this particular someone. She, by far has made me lost interest in knowing people like her almost instantly! I dont dislike her because she makes a fool of herself by contradicting herself almost all the time, i just dont understand the way she do and say things sometimes which indirectly affected me and bloody irritated me! of course i forgave and forget, but the things she did affected people around me as well. *sigh* how do you say it, she's so... ma fan?

I had a mild gastric too. I wasnt supposed to drink any Minuman Bekarbonat remember? But i did and gastric happened :( i thought i was going to spend the weekend with my brother, but he left the house at 7.30 am. jahat betul. i think he's going to skip school on monday. knowing my very nerdy brother he is, skipping school for World Music Festival, is soooo cool-and-not-nerdy of him okay! he's off to Penang just now and i sure do hope he'll have a blast there! he's been so studious i wonder does he ever have some fun really?

I've just realized everyone's been dating, loving, crushing, dreaming and hoping. i'll say, "I'm in a big big ocean, with a tiny little boat!,"-Natasha Bedingfield. :)

*picture taken from Carol's friendster*

tounge out is the in-thing now!

*the rest are taken from Karen's friendster*


Sunday, July 15, 2007

Positive Power People!

depressed. i. was. depressed.

school began last monday. waking up at 5.50am and walking alone to the bus station under few dim lights is not healthy. so i decided to wake up at 6.10! :P

but i have no choice. i really dont. i reached college waaaaaayyyy (sarcasticly of-cohs) earlier than some of my classmates who drove to college and staying nearby. heh. it has clarified how this world can be so unfair. ...oh well, i reached late today. jammed like so teruk okay. just when i thought i wont ever reach late to college, this happen. i remember this thing called jam. *(-_-")*

Me: hey....
R: jacqueline right?
Me: yeaaaaa. *thinking while smiling* oh no, what's her name?! ... i know it sounds like my second name but what?? *still...smiling*

*3 seems-like-forever-minutes later*

R:...*still smiling..while making the okayyyh-this-is-awkard face*
Me: how's everything?
R: Great! what are you taking again?
Me: Mass Comm!
R: ...Ohhhh. *nodding fast*

it's that Ohhh again. the "Ohhh-she's-just-a-Mass Commer-nothing-interesting" Ohhh. by this time around, i'm used to the Ohhs already. i sincerely do know how to differentiate between the Ohhhs and the Oooohs, just so you know. just like when people ask me what's my brother's studying; I'd be like, "Medical". People would be like, "Ooooooh!"-*big eyes-nodding slowly*. discrimination is never out-dated.

highlight of the week: i lost a Travis again. Travis is my water bottle i bring to school everyday. oh wait, the watter bottle i brought to school everyday for five days... five days? lima hariii bah?! i lost three Travises in a year. what the heck is wrong with me and water bottles? Me and Denise went looking for Travis up and down, left and right, around the college. we even checked each classroom twice. sangat sedih okayyyyy? :(

now i'm back with the plastic bottle type. ergh, this is not good. i'm not supporting plastic bottles really. it's not biodegradable people! not good for the environment!!!!!

but yesterday. and today... strangely, sadness evaporated. you know, the feeling of sadness sloowhly leaving you. by the time i took my bath at 12-ish yesterday, (yes, at noon), i saw this girl smiling on my bathroom mirror. i finally sang in shower after a week being sort of sad. deprived. missing. and so blardy tired. i guess reality just kicked in (assigments really) yesterday to be spcific. joyous? excited? noooh. happy! ah that's the word! :)

am reading McCall Smith's The Sunday Philosophy Club. So far so good. Liking Grace and her sharp opinions. i miss Ingrid. she be like that, you know? college and friends did not change. i dont know whether i'm suppose to be happy about it, but i guess i dont have to adapt nomore if that's the case. i'm glad. i miss them loads. i weally do. the best part about college now is that 5/5 of my lecturers are purrty cool. sorta cool i say.

oh ya! i am disciplining myself with money tooo. i'm restricting myself of not going out often. wont be able to be the Wizard of Booze nemore i guess? i'm restricting myself not to belanja more this semester too. not any bills arrived yet. will work on cutting my expenses. less caffeine (Starbucks & Coffee Bean leave me alooooone!) and nomore those sweet soda can drinks or the funnier version; Minuman Bekarbonat. or was it Bikarbonat? *giggling* funny lah that word. sounds like Berkarat. or some science term. okay wait, it is? what i amm saying is, those stuffs are not healthy and mahal? (bahhh tiba-tiba sedar nih?)

speaking of sweetness, i just received mum's email. most probably she will come down to KL on the 12 of August. hell yeah! i rindu her so muchhh. and it's only been a week? homeworks piling up. sorrylarh, i just feel like talking about it. i reckon it'll be a shitty stressful semester. hmm. well of course! which day isnt riteee?

Oh my gosh. SEE? what's up with this perkiness positive power people attitude? hehe. i guess the sun's shining on me now. *doing the snake dance*

Ohya. Thank Youuu Yen Ling for this!


Wednesday, July 11, 2007

His anniversary

my head was heavy. i was very close to surrender my whole body to the couch. until, i saw the date. today's date. it was the only date that will always bring back the painful vague memories.

11th of July. the date that changed my life. me. and everything around me. especially my family.

exactly nine years ago, my brother and I were crushed into millions of pieces, like a piece of glass thrown into the floor carelessly. it was the day we found out the man who made it all happen for us... gone. just like that. taken by the angels, leaving us hating the unbelievable burden on the shoulder he left upon us.

my beautiful dad passed away this day, 1998. the day that i cant think of a single reason why God wanted him to leave us. we were very young and my sister barely even knew him. my mother was busting her-self in UM chasing for her Masters for a better tomorrow. life is supposedly to be joyous and un-complicated at that time!
questions. endless questions that bothered me everyday of my life ever since he was gone.

will i ever be happy again?
will my sister have a great childhood just like every kid should?
will my sister be as strong as me?
will my mum give up?
will i look up at my brother the way i looked up at him?
will we make him proud?
will we be okay?
will everything be different?
..will i be strong?

i saw myself sobbing and mourning with total confusion and hatred in me this time around back then. thinking whether this was real? thinking whether this was fair? wishing so-damn-badly every second this was just a horrible dream.
but it wasnt. he was lying there peacefully as if he wanted the rest. and he was still the most beautiful man i have ever known and loved. i realized i love him more than i thought i have. i should have shown it every day, when he still could see and feel it! i regret!

....i was practically dragging myself to school, weeks after his heart-twisting funeral. it felt like happiness was completely sucked out of my life. i felt empty, hopeless and dangerously-sad. future was a huge blur. my brother was furious. and my baby sister was still hoping.

if you knew what my family had gotten through these years you would have understand how my character, personality, abilities, strengths and weaknesses built up like today.

drugs, failures, corruptions, uncertainty in life and giving up is not even an option.

at this moment, i'm where i want to be with the perfect vision in my head because of my beautiful dad. it was a painful blessing in disguise and a torturous journey behind us, but i'm happy how his precious babies turned out to be :) i may not be enjoying the comfy office-seat now, but i will and i promise daddy, mummy, abang and jessy i will carry my simplicity and humbleness along the journey, because you guys taught me too.

the best part about it, i'll struggle just like you did. and you, daddy, taught me that.


Wednesday, July 04, 2007

a creature a day!

if an apple a day keeps the doctor away,

then, touch a creature a day, is for betterment i say!

alright, screw my horrible poetic tryout and do not translate it in a one-night-stand whore-ish way, because what i'm trying to say is, i will try my very very best to try to touch no-not only a person's life but a creature's life! a day. yes, i'm not joking. a creature a day.

this may sound weird but i'm nore than just a scary face. just like Earl, in My Name Is Earl, to have a better life I must alwayssss be a better person first.

to begin this cents-less humble engagement, i will begin my day with a smile! it may be abit difficult because i'm a simple-keep to myself chica, but i will try my very best. and it doesnt mean i have to smile to every lads i see, but even small kids is a start? (although i've been doing this my whole life......)

and i have partially-dedicated myself to loving and helping the animals. i used to not to be this loving the Mother Nature "ambassador" around my family and friends, but ever since a couple of years ago, i have been getting myself more involved emotionally and spiritually with God's other creations! *think praying for wounded dogs and freed a butterfly!*

so yeah. there goes my mission. a creature a day! may it be through my blog, my daily conversations, my advices, my assignments?, my songs, my food, my smile, my looks, my money, my pictures, my touch, my help, my behaviour. everything from anything! though it might be slightly impossible to know whether i've touched a creature (or the simpler but also complicated species), the people's life, the fact that i care of trying this, God-knows it's really important to me! :)

on a cuter note.

3 weeks ago.

Me: mum let's go chill out. we go Secret Recipe. Jacqkie in the house!
Mum: what's chillaut? you paying for everything?
Me: yeap. erm, and chill out bah, hang out, means.... eating?
Mum: i like that. okay!

3 weeks later.

Mum: let's go chillaut! kau mau balik KL sudah kan?
Me: how could i resist when mummy say it? let's chillaut-chillaut. *giggles*

isn't my sister the cutest little thing?

very funny the way mummy said it. very funny! i'm going to miss my sister and mum again. apart from not having a car in KL and using your own pocket money, being far from my family is by far the worst part about studying in KL.

big birds gotta fly,

Monday, July 02, 2007

weird black-out

that was the strangest black-out i have ever experienced.

I was playing NFS just now when the lights in the living room started to flicker. i didnt seem to bother the flickering lights at first but within seconds everything including the neighbourhoods went off........

...except, the ps2.

okay that didnt came out right.....

except the ps2??!???

that's more like it! weird black-out story aside. left four more days till i'm off to KL. four more days! the thought of getting all stressed out again freaks me out. sometimes, i really really hate the busy life of college. i have this love-hate relationship with college. heh. ps. some of my college students are glamorizing smoking. which is very bad for me and my other second-hand smoker friends. i really dont mind them smoking. it's definitely their prerogative. but starting smoking because of college? that's just plain sad.

i couldnt make it to Pulau Manukan this holiday because most of my friends are scattered around so far away from me :( and some in form 6. but i will. I'll be BAKKH!(Arnold Shchhshhhhd-i dont know how to spell his name's accent) in December! i will! mum even wanted to have a day off just to accompany me to Pulau Manukan. But i felt bad, and decided to go in December with her and the rest of the housemates *wink*.

I watched Another Gay Movie and Euro Trip the other day with my girlfriends. being the very innocent i am, I must say nudity can be very hillarious sometimes. no? oh well. and i discovered Jonathan Chase is very hot too.

Oh yeah, just this week alone i realized i really like Shia LaBouf and Tina Fey. well, if you thought i was attracted to Shia LaBouf's witty personality in Transformers you are dead wrong! i was attracted to this little bugger ever since Even Stevens. when i first saw him in Even Stevens, i just knew he's going to be big someday and very fine :) like very! he's only 21 and i bet the world is welcoming him with arms wide open. i know i doooo!

Back to Tina Fey. I knew she was a something too when i watched Mean Girls. i wasnt sure what it was that made me love Mean Girls so much. i mean, i know chick flicks can be addictive, but this one was pure genius. i wasnt sure what it was. until i laid my eyes on 30rock. i just knew she was the it!

oh yea. i've received alot of interesting messages in friendster, but by far this is the strangest!

D: so we can kawan lah kan?
Me: (after millions of weeks, i finally replied him!) bole.
D: okay bagus. we meet up. and then you kena sign something. banyak juga paperlah. if you want to read you can read it carefully. in the paper it says; if you stopped being my friend, you will have to marry me.
Me: ????!?!?!?!?!?!?! *decided to ignore him for another millions of weeks*

to all my college friends; SEEEE YOUUU VERY SSOOOON! :)