Friday, March 30, 2007

cracked

my heart hurts more than my feet and body combined together. After today, i swore to myself i would never hurt anyone the way i saw people got hurt. never.

**Today was Mass Collympics. It was extremely tiring. I was running my ass of here and there during the event. The sun burned my skin. I had to stand nearby the Paintball field all the time, and be aware of the teams that were playing and were going to play. TIRED.

I felt like i lifted a cow from a building to another building. i know the description is random but thats how tired i feel though i never lifted no cows. the heat was deargosh- HELLish.

How could people do that to other people?

**I wish i could blurt out everything. but i couldnt. I pity those who were seriously affected by it. I seriously pity them. I understand how they feel. I know what goes through their mind. I know what they hoped for. I know what they want to change. I just know. I feel their pain.

I am forgettable. I realized that just recently. I'll walk pass by you and if i dont look like a model or benefits you- you would ignore me completely. I would carry a house on my shoulder but you would see me just as another pest on the wall of the house. I am extremely quiet and very attentive, i would work discreetly and never stopped trying. I would still continue on walking eventhough i'm limping. ask me to run 1000miles to help people in need, i would. a simple pat on the back would make me smile forever.

*takes deep breath*

I wish i could help my friend. but i dont think by anyways. they should help themselves by brushing it off. All they need is encouragement to walk straight again. it's not a slap on the face, just misunderstanding that is very immature.

My body hurts badly, that must mean i did a great job right. I didnt have enough sleep. Worked really hard, and glad MassCOOL 07 is over :)


p/s: *Pics of MassCOOL 07- (ngeehehee thats what i call it now) will be uploaded once i got it*

Love,
Jacqkie.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

sometimes long is not easy

high heels + college= extremely tired.

gosh, how i wish high heels are not painful. just came back from college and feel like dipping my feet into a bowl of ice and be massaged. i sseeeerrrriiiiooooussssllllyyyy neeed a massage. it's been a crazy week so far, and it's only tuesday. guess what? it'll be much more interesting this friday. yeeeee, someone's gonna 'die' on friday, somehow i dont think it'll be me. or...could it be?

well anyway, i just checked out my good friend's friendster profile and found out that she's still with her boyfriend. i'm so happy for her! the only question is, HOW??? her boyfriend's here and she's in Sabah.

I have tried so many long-distance relationships and none, i mean by 0 (zero) of my long-distance relationships were succesful.

i hav tried honesty, making myself busy,not thinking about it too much, more making myself busy, reading, studying, singing, practically everything on the to do list to not think too much about my partner. still at the end of the day i found myself regretting getting myself into that kind of relationship. i have always been so emotionally attached to my other half. it's awful!!!

i remembered my first long-distance relationship, we got to see each other only once a month, and everytime we meet up we'd get so excited. i have always thought that the excitement was fun and it was actually the only reason i hang around.

cute? mayyyybe. rich? no. talented? abit. sweet? yeahh-ohkay.

Looking back at the long-distance relationship i had, i have to admit it was hard. not just hard actually, it was REALLY hard. the fact that you don't get to see around each other that much, or even loving each other's company were not the only reasons.

first, you tend to get envious of your other friends' relationship, it's a sad case but we all know this is true.
next, is uncertainty. sometimes you just have that uncertainty in you when you're in a long distance relationship- and even forgot that you're in one at times. uncertainty of alot of things. next, it's never enough. when you're so inlove with each other, and that 3 hours of meeting your partner is never enough. things happen so fast, from the moment you say your HIs until the moment you hugged goodbyes.

I'm awful in long-distance relationships. i admit it before and i admit it again. i have told my exs before and now i'm telling you. people told me before and it stays in me ever since.

i have always admired my friends who are in long-distance relationships. it's not inspiring, i must say that, but something about it makes me admire them.

it's never easy to have a relationship. what more if it's a long-distance?


Love,
Jacqkie.

Friday, March 23, 2007

mr mike

i constantly tell myself not to go crushin on guys. but here i am blogging about another guy i'm currently crushing. i have a feeling he's got a girlfriend. damn it! well this is just for fun btw.

first of all, i must tell you, he's a bit of an introvert. he looks really sweet- okay okay maybe i'm getting too much here, but seriously awwww he's got this really sweet face!

i must tell you what happen to the previous guy i like. well, that didnt work out because something happened and i decided to forget about him. he's still single and i'm still friends with him- but something came about and i decided to not like him anymore. something not-so-nice about him i discovered. pergh.

back to the guy i like now. when i first met him i didnt really cared about him. he wasnt that outstanding. i barely remembered whether i said hi to him or anything. he was abit too quiet to be noticed. the second time i met him- still we werent properly introduced to each other. darn!

i first noticed him when i saw him kept looking at me. it was more of "eh hye" kind of look you know. all the time. everytime i terserempak with him he would do the "eh you" face. he didnt said his and byes. maybe i was perasan but that was when i was like.. *Thinking* "eh, who are you...check you out!" and actually noticed him.

he's friends of friends of friends- i think. and yeah, i smiled at him first, without noticing how sweet looking he actually was. but when he smiled back at me......

*it was as if like there's a spotlight on him- allleeellluiaaaa!*

i went wow! and from that moment onwards i admit i was pretty much physically attracted to him. he's not much of a talker. not much of those guys that would crack up jokes and be everyone's attention. from that moment onwards i was always looking out for him and checking him out. i was abit freaked out myself- and i noticed him looking at me too. or maybe he's just one of those guys that stares at people. yikes!

well, whatever it was. awww quiet boys are sooo hot, to me! everyone around him were talking really loudly and laughing really loudly and he was there just chilling out and smiling at their mean jokes.

hotnyerrr!

no one really know who he is. he's just some guy i know that most probably i wont get to see again. *sigh-spotlight slowly fading....*


Dear mr mike. i really hope i get to see you again! and i would talk to you next time i swear! :P

Love,
Jacqkie.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Mass Colympics

"Hey are you from Mass Comm?"
"...*look down & walked away*"
"Hey are you from Mass Comm?"
".....*tut-tut-tut......*-"

Last wednesday me and lidya went to approach people and publicize our event Mass Colympics to them. It was quite funny as both of us were assuming whether they're mass comm students or just passing by or worker or architectural students or interior or.. blahh.

At first i was still abit shy to ask my collegemates and publizice and promote the event to them- but after a couple of HIs and HEYs, i'm getting okay at it. After feeling like i've approached tons of people, I still have billions of flyers in my hand and the same people are passing by.
My "boss" mentioned not to force them to go or inform them that it's a compulsory to attend the event(because it is) so me and lidya had to be this really nice and sweet person to explain and promote to them about the event and hopes for positive reaction or vibe from them.

Yeah i asked those hunks in college whether they are from Mass Comm- despite the fact that i've seen them around with rulers and computer books! *dam-dam-dam!!* -gigglesss-
Some are very nice and sweet and actually took the time to listen to us, some treated us like we're the wallpapers, some just stare at us and some... well we ignored them. hahaha! nah-they're not Mass Commers any way.

"Lidya, is he from Mass Comm?"
"I dont know, thats why we cant ask him later."
"haha, nice!"

I know, we sound so pathethic right but hey! we were suppose to promote the event to Diploma and Foundation Mass Commers okay-and standing around the lift area with 4lecturers infront of us and being ignored by people at times isnt really the ecstasy ok. and the only entertainment we had were ourselves and the millions of flyers we had. How kesian was that?
To all my friends who's in Diploma/ Foundation in Communication; do come for this event! It's a sports event people!- it's rareeeeee!
Paintball/ Dodgeball/ Obstacle Course/ Free Food/ Goodie Bags/ meeting new people/ watching lecturer's getting dirty/ and even skip class for a day! (it's in the attendance actually.....) for only RM10!!!!How could you say no to that? weeeee!

*Design from the Creative/ Publicity Department*

Love,
Jacqkie.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The LOFT

still sober.... abit.
...when you drank a few glasses..
Nessa, Manda and Izham!
oopsie, it's our secret okay?
....and the one who said he was allergic to alcohol... RITE!
AmandARGH!
The Indonesian Girls. :)
Syafiq and Gang. it's Klan-G or something if i'm not mistaken..
Ayna & Kerry dancengg!
a band performing that night- Actually i dont know their band name. Sowy!
*THANKS TO DANIAL FOR THE PICS*




Love,
Jacqkie.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

when everyone's naughty..

"oh my gosh, thats the girl from church, and she just made out with a guy in public!"

It was a college event. Sounds pretty innocent. But i guess thats the only time where all the young friends gather around and get wasted for the night. I mean seriously, it was a college event- violence against women campaign. Sounds really realllllly innocent huh.

When i first reached there, everyone's looking good and smelling good and... still sober. until everyone had their first sip of coke, hugged everyone they met and saw and moved to the music. *tadaaaa* thats when everyone thinks they belong there.

Introducing Love campaign cum CLUBBING with the underages.

When booze kicks in, trance music (eeyuck) on the DJ, hot guys and nasty chicks moving around everyone and i mean by everyone wants a piece of the action.

After hanging around at The Loft for sometime, we decided to crash to Maison and get the entrance cop and check things out there. it was boring with caps. BORING. I personally think i can fell asleep standing while watching whatever was on screen that night. It was an animation convention. but the night was suppose to begin after that. Guess what??? It didnt!
No, no dont get me wrong the white boys mixing the music and stuffs were awesome, songs were ohkaylarrrr but the crowd was as stiff as the wall they were leaning on.

So we went back to the Loft and had much more fun there, although they did not played RnBs, because i dance to nothing but RnBs. so no dancing just drinking and checking out people. Joe Flizzow was there and some celebrities that i didnt recognize or care at all. *end of music*

yeah, i dont know them but they look familiar. heh~

+ Beh wished he could ripped William Kua's clothes, Carol got embarrased a couple of times, Danial was dragging people to the dance floor, Kerry drank too much, Sarah wants too *fixes throat* "meet" new people, Jenny reallly really wanted to dance, Nessa & Syafiq A drank toooooo much, Ayna getting busy with her dancemates, Syafiq and friends were noisy, Alvin the drinks mixer for the night, and me well me, couldnt walk straight after 4glasses, HOW UNFAIR! i wonder why i gotten tipsy so easily last night. the drinks were freaking free(not really) and my head got heavy after 4 glasses???! *makes angry face*The rest? I dont see them around- went MIA.

Wait, i did not just sounded like an alcoholic.
FYI, it's normal bah.

lemme quote Giresh: " You dont get drunk easily right? hmm you Sabahans."

so yeah, after the tipsy moments, i got up and move around. and yeahoo, i regain my "stability" and continued partying.

I'll uploaded all the pics once i got it :)


Love,
Jacqkie.

Friday, March 16, 2007

future?

"You gotta do what you Love or just Love what you do!". -Andrea

Was she right or was she right?

My mum is in love with books. used to and i guess will always be. and the reason she's doing what she's doing now, is purely for the love of books. Well we know one person who's doing what she loves. She's my walking dictionary. But even now, waking up to work would irritate her at times because basically it bores her too.

When i first entered high school, i remember vividly how i really wanted to be a "Scientist". Like really. I would buy Science Workbooks, and watch those science stuffs on TV, man!
The reason was nothing close to loving the subject, but just purely because i was influenced by mum; it'll pay me well, i visualize myself mixing the chemicals and i got really good marks for science. Those are the three main reasons why i wanted to become a Scientist. Back then, i was so sure Science was what i wanted and that i could buy my mum cars and vacation with that job.
Everything sounded perfect!

UNTIL, i joined all the competitions/ public speaking/ debate that i started to realize that maybe just maybe science is not the right path for me.

My mum knew i was the different one in the family. I was the one more relaxed, outspoken and spontaneous. When i dont agree on something i would say what's on my mind in the most repective way i could. I was the prefects, the organizers, the secretary, the leaders, the volunteer in social work and the outgoing one in the family. She hated the fact that i'm so much involved in these things but loved it in a way too. She decided to convince me on law. Even after winning the Best Speaker for some of the Debates, nothing about Law intrigues me. nothing at all. except for hot male lawyers! :)

So anyway, wen i was in form 5, i was much more certain that science was definitely not for me. I didn't gave up on science though and every single night i would study hard at least a couple of hours to convince myself Science is not that bad after all.....and to proove to mummy i can do it.

I am an introvert. I dont speak much when i'm around you. And i am very much of a listener instead of the speaker when communicating. Somehow, different kinds of people in the world excites me. Different behaviours of people interests me. Everything about people is worth the time to understand.

My top 3 career choices when i was in form 5-
1. Psychologist
2. Psychiatrist (yes-yes Taman Bahagia/ Bukit Padang that)
3. Public Relations/ NGOs/ Community Service / Volunteery Workers

Before you raise your eyebrow, yeah, i really wanted to help people. I really really do. I have always wanted to help people in any way i could, and i personally think, helping them mentally is a great start. Thus, the career choice psychologist. It was my dream job, to help people mentally or even giving them security and encouragements. When i told my mum i wanted to be a Psychiatrist, she had this "not-again you have got to be kidding me" kind of face. My mum was just as scared as any other mums, and letting me to deal the ill/unstable friends in future scared her. She disapprooved it strongly and asked me to change my option. My last option was PR/ NGOs/ CS and VW. My mum knew i was going to come up with some volunteery thingy work but she told me "babey- it's about the money at times-so think again".

From there, i decided to become Public Relations. It was then i realized it could help me to see all the different publics in the world. Mum thought it's a good field and it's a growing industry. The investors, the workers, the bosses, the customers, the partners,.. everything. I could learn how to handle them and understand how to tackle problems and maybe humble myself. I could learn why they're acting like this and why should i not act like this and that. I can fix my communication skills and learn more about it- the way to approach people in this kinda way. I have always been interested in people and behaviours, when i found the right college and gotten mum's approove- well, the rest is history.

There goes, i might think i'm doing what i Love now but i'm not really sure whether i'll still be loving what i'm doing in few years later.

"Every type of work in the world has it's advantages and disadvantages girl. If you know one without long hours/ listening to people/ thinking/ moving/ writing/ typing/ maybe even have to look pretty everyday, tell me. I want that job too. " -Mary Kinti

Dont you think so too?


Love,
Jacqkie

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Are you Beautiful?

I just want to talk about an awesome campaign my seniors launched today. It was the Beauty Campaign. It's about a campaign that appreciates inner and outer beauty. Body, mind and soul.

Okay, so we were told that everyone is beautiful and what matters is on the inside. But we were 'shown' the other way round.

How are we suppose to know what Beautiful really means when all we see are pretty people getting the cute boys & vice versa and pretty people turn heads around but not-so pretty people are invisible? or maybe even it's okay when pretty people wears push ups but not when not so wears it?

it has always been something i believed in, that getting to know the person first, is all it takes to know whether that person is beautiful or not. You're either beautiful or you're not. I personally think there's no one in between.

Take these scnearios:

-"I feel beautiful. I feel beautiful! But why is he looking at my tummy instead of my face?"
- *Thinking* "Oh my gosh, he's looking at me. I know i'm beautiful!"

See the difference?

First of all, yes everyone is beautiful, i really really think so too. It's your different skin colour and the size of your nose that makes you unique. The way you look at people will already tell a story of what you think of them. The way you wear your dress will already tell a book of what you think of yourself.

But beautiful is rather.. ambiguous.

There's a huge difference between feeling beautiful and you being really beautiful. Feeling beautiful can be sad actually because you keep telling yourself you are beautiful but you know that the girl with the better skin gets the attention instead of you. Then you disagree the fact that everyone is beautiful. and keep on cursing the media and the magazines.

Honestly, why should we keep telling other people that everyone is beautiful when in reality, it's still obvious most people dont care about the 'propaganda' "everyone is beautiful". Everyone thinks highly of themselves and no they still wont share their drinks with people with crooked teeth.

What i'm trying to say is, why do we tell ourselves constantly that we are beautiful when we know we already are? Why people keep reminding other people they are beautiful when we know other people are obviously beautiful too? Why do people say the different features we got make us "unique"? Is that just another word for weird? But you're putting it in a good way? Tell me, enlighten me.

I personally think that the easiest thing you could do is just be friends with everyone? and hug them like they dont have diseases? Or maybe share some juicy secrets with them like they know about "it" too? or maybe talk about how good they are in bed without visualizing their facial expression during that time or their cellulite?

Telling people they're beautiful is undeniably sweet and improves their self confidence, no doubt. But the fact that you talk about the hair of the person at the next table after that will be pointless already. Thats why i dont gossip nor judge. I guess i never will. It's an evil deed and it doesn't make me a better person. Though at times, i admit i automatically judge people i dislike. My bad, but i'm learning to scratch that out from me.

I hope you wont people. please. The moment you talk bad about other person's waist size or eyebrows, you're already not beautiful to me.

So, are you beautiful?


Love,
Jacqkie.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

no we're not freaks.

I remembered a couple of years ago, this time around i would most probably fight with mummy about church and stuffs. I would defend myself of not joining the christian camp and everything, back then my brother was already this "born again" christian.

It was so unfair. My brother decided to become this "born again" Christian after two services and the consequences? My mum forced me to change into something like that too. It was as if i was the bad one back then. I dont like the fact that you had to go to all the camps or join in the activties to be called a 'good christian' and i have always confronted my mum on that. She would never understand what i meant and i would never understand her point.

When i first moved to KL, the first few nicest people around to me, were my brother's friends. They brought me to church and made sure i wont be exposed to all these "bad stuffs" that could change me and all. no one knew how strong i was except for myself. And i really mean this, no one knew it.

I hated the fact that i had to go to Church alone with some nice strangers treating me real nice. It was extremely awkward. I hated the fact that i had to be real nice to them because this is a "christian community". I didn't like that all. I wanted way out from that. Fast.

I felt as if i was faking myself.

The next week, i decided from then onwards i would go to weekend masses with my cousin. She stayed in Section 14 and i was staying in Redzuan Condo. It costed me RM15 to go to her place and another RM10 from her place to mine everyweekend. It was sad, but somehow i felt waaay better going to church with her than anyone else. I dont need to fake myself and all i had to do was relax.

My mum didn't really like the idea because she taught i was running away from the people from the other church so that i dont have to go to christian meetings and all that. Boy, was she right.
That's exactly how i felt, but i couldnt tell it to her straight forward.

I didn't denied it, but told her something else that was true too instead- it was a favour for my cousin too as she goes to weekend masses every weekend, alone. Alternatively, i should go with her, so instead of both of us going Masses alone everyweekend, might as well go together right? My mum finally said yes to it and let me do what i had to do, although i knew she knew i wasnt ready for all the "Christian exposure".


***I just got back from church feeling peaceful and awesome. I got a call from my brother's friend yesterday asking me to join them in a Christian Group every friday night. I didn't doubt for a second, i immediately said yeah. I'm now in the committee in my college's Christian Fellowship- not forced by anyone and i loved the meetings. I'm doing my part for lent and i even talked to people about Christianity. I encouraged people to go to church especially my cousins every week.

See how much i've grown? And even when i talk to mum on the phone nowadays, she was surprised herself that i was in this Christian Fellowship thingy. Everytime i tell her about this stuff, she would ask me whether i have a crush on anyone on the group. She couldn't believe me at times and insisted that i'm going it for someone else. Haha. Even my mum doesn't believe the me now.

Do you know what's my perception of these group of people before?
That they're freaks for talking about Christianity and stuffs, that they just want to show off that they're nice people, that they are abit too much, and that it's ridiculous to feel the presence of God and everything. that they are lame for making Christian jokes and their games are kiddies.
and that they're not cool because they dont sin and stuff.

I was so wrong. So sooo soo wrong. And i asked for God's forgiveness for that.

I miss my family so much every single day, and when i go to church, that's where i feel like home. Because i go to church every weekend with them as it's an obligation.
I used to be shy of singing. But when in church, everyone there just dont care. Singing was praising, not a competition. I feel really comfortable.
I was scared of everything in KL, the people, the malls, the public transport. everything.
But saying "God please take care of me", meant so much more now, because now i really need it.

I finally know what my brother sees in Christianity. I finally understood it. and i'm glad i found it myself, the hard way. Instead of people propagating them to me. Nah, thats not how i do it.

Let me find 'myself' by MYSELF.

Evidently, i am not cool. But i couldn't care less, because i dont want to follow the majority, and what is cool anyway?
Evidently, i am a proud christian but i look like you too and i talk about the show you watched too.
Evidently, i dont make sex like you do, but i do know the positions and everything about sex like you too.
Evidently, i party too it's just i wake up extra early on Sunday Mornings to profess my faith and actually believe in it.
Evidently, i do make Christian Jokes. and laugh at mean jokes too.


My principle: "And they'll know we are Christians by our love".

Exactly. People will love me for my behaviour towards them and will love Christian because of that too. I dont have to tell them about Christian. I dont have to influence or persuade them. Just be myself and love every single living thing on earth. The message will come across.
And loving Christians never meant having faith on Christian, just love and accept us. Because that's what i did to all the religion in the world, i really hope they see that in me. my biggest dream is that , everyone does the same thing too.

So the next time you see/know some really religious people. remember me.
I'm normal, they're normal. and no we're not freaks.

:)

Love,
Jacqkie.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

you performing?

The microphone's not working. Three of us shared one mic. I was squashed in between. The song was a bit too corny for me. The crowd was big. The courtyard was hot. The heels were killing me. My friends around. and yes, that was indeed my first time singing in college.

Surprisingly, i wasn't nervous at all.

It was pretty obvious that Kerry my friend who I performed with were shit nervous. She was shaking and her voice was breaking. She performed so many times before, and there i was next to her feeling not even the tiniest bit of scared at all. I performed a couple of times before and yeah, every time i performed it would be painless and fast. Since this particular one i was in college in front of all the people i love and not-really, i should be more scared than before right? but again, i wasn't.

Why? because You're looking at me. Anticipating for us to sing. not me looking at you or me waiting for you to sing. Basically, whatever people infront of me saying- that they should perform and those crap, well guess what, they didn't and i did. i'm infront of you and you're not. Thats one of the reason why i wasn't scared. Screw the expectations or the embrassment, the fact that i'm already infront of them was fullfilling enough and was better than all the compliments or laughters. The fact that i'm the performer not the audience was niceeee.

Singing is not something i live for, my passion my life or anything near that. Most performers live and breath performing. i pity them at times but admire them too, because at least they have talent and passion right? but to me Singing is just a hobby. Or a spare time. Or an interest. or something like a game. where you play with it when you're bored. Performing can be really simple and fun, but not if you expect to knock people of their feet and expect compliments and gets pressured. This is the part where i pity real musicians. They depend on people's compliments and critics to make money. Getting pressured, making music is their bread and butter. My heart goes to you guys so rock on.

Performing- the experience should be priceless. No one forced me to, being the laid-back girl i am, i would go for anything and even if it means singing No Scrubs.

Today was cool. The performance was moderately nice. and the crowd was lovely.

Now i'm more positive that there is absolutely nothing wrong with singing infront of people. or maybe even dancing. or maybe even acting. Just make sure, you can at least follow the beat and everyone will be amazed at how brave you are.

"Performing is not just singing or dancing or acting infront of people. Performing starts the moment you said yes to it, and actually be there and didn't pissed on your pants. It takes more than just a good voice and a good song. It needs the right attitude." -Jacqueline Rowena

Love,
Jacqkie

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

10 weird things about me

From Lydia, thanks for tagging me babe! *smiles*

Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names.


1. I'm a proud christian, i can talk about christianity to you. you want ah? XD

2. I have a soft spot for nerds and computer geniuses.

3. I can only sleepwell with a pillow on my legs for them to rest on.

4. I love cold water + milo. Only!

5. I dont gossip.

6. I can finish 2 jugs of Long Island by myself.

7. I dont kill any animal. nor insects. nor flies. i either blow them away or run.

8. I really really love fullmoons. I'll usually "pray" under fullmoons because i feel like someone's watching.

9. I have a phobia of cockroaches. It's seriously serious.

10. I can ride the same rollercoasters more than three times in one day.




6 people i tagged;

Caroline Dahling
Kakak Milla
Stefie
Noel
Mazidah
Dodo

Love,
Jacqkie.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

ignorance not bliss-it kills the other!

When I entered the cab, i couldn't stop thinking what did i ever do wrong to him. I couldn't stop feeling guilty and awful. Seriously, it irritated and annoyed me alot.

**I went out yesterday with a bunch of friends and this guy that liked me completely ignored me. He didn't even looked at me, not even a glance not even a simple hi. At first i couldn't care less, but after a couple of minutes the ignorance was getting too much and i seriously thought i was invisible to him.

I'll give you the description of the situation, -he talks to the girl sitting infront of me, jokes with the guy sitting on my right, kids with the guy on my left. he was sharing jokes with everyone in the table, when he looked at me he had this "hmmph" smile. How would you feel?

I never mentioned anything about him to any of my friends except for Carol, but even that, Carol never even met him and never even spoke to him. I've never said any bad things about him, i never said bad things about anyone, except for Paris Hilton and mostly celebrities la. most of the time i would just laugh at people's mean jokes. don believe me? ask my mum, or my sister or my close friends.

Let's be honest here, when a guy likes a girl but ignored her completely in a groupie making her feel invisible, would the girl feel great? on top of the world?

lemme guess-no right? I didn't understand what the heck did i ever do wrong to him, and even if i ever did anything, it would be best if he tell it to my face or even a simple msg would be good enough. i would say ouch..and move on and 'oh ok' kinda thing. it's a slap in the face but at least i feel it now then not knowing about it.

I thought i was thinking too much about this silly little thing but when my friend told me that she noticed it too i was like "exactly!". She was surprised herself by the cold-shoulder thingy the guy was giving me. She was so sure that the whole not-looking-at-me thing was just some shy feeling and that he didn't even dare to look at me or even strike conversations with me because he was too shy.

It's ridiculous. Even if it's true, i feel like i'm in primary school now, but back then, even boys that liked you wont ignore you, they'll most probably pull your skirt or hair, or push you, annoy you with their stunts or jokes or maybe even tease you for no apparent reason. at least kena layan doh.

Whatever it was, the cold shoulder, the ignorance (oh dont we all hate ignorance) confused me. I wanted to ask him personally, but can you imagine if his reaction would be, "nola, you're thinking too much!". Dear gosh, i swear i will never come out from my house again. Nah, just kidding, thats only going to happen if there's a state of emergency. so anyway, yeah. You get what i mean right?

To everyone out there, if you ever like someone or maybe even hate them so bloody much, i suppose this IS the case, ignoring is just pure childish. If you're in a relationship and merajuk those kinda stuff, i would probably understand, it's your business to do that, but honestly ignoring people a.k.a me, in this matter, sucks the confidence out of me for a day man.

i admit i'm irritated and he wins successfully in irritating me.

but to heck with that coz i'm going out tonite! hehe.



Love,
Jacqkie.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

dont date PRs and Sales Reps?

Friend 1: So who do you like now?
Me: Some guy. But just a slight crush.
Friend: What's he doing?
Me: He's studying but he was once a Sales Rep in this XXX bank tho.
Friend: Yummy!
Me: hehe. but someone told me not to date Sales rep.
Friend: puhhhlease! i thought no one should date PRs, like you.
Me: excuse me? i'm innocent.
Friend 1: PRs and Sales Reps are the same. They know what to say and how to say it.
Me: herm, you're right.
Friend 1: of course. then maybe you guys can date each other. Hah! that would be FUN!
Me: hm....

to those who don't know what i'm doing now, i'm a Public Relations in training. So basically, i'm a part of the communications management/department in an organization...in future.

According to my cousins, Public Relations sweet talk their ass off. Although she may be only 3% true about public relations, but i kinda thought she was right too. I thought dating Sales Representatives would be a no-no because they know what to say and how to say it, but then again who am i to judge, when in future i'll most probably be making money solely based on "sweet talking" or knowing what to say or how to say it? heh~

I like this guy a used-to-be sales rep and i'm a public relations. it's like dating me with hoohoo. or maybe even dating me with short hair. gosh. or maybe even dating me but with muscles. EEW <<<>

PRs know when to listen and when to take note. Because it's always been a part of our job. To notice changes, and to tackle it and then prevent it. It's in the job's nature to attend to people and make sure we get what we want and they get our attention. That's the sexy part about PR. And we use it as an advantage when we go dating. Good PRs know when to shut up- not when to speak up.

what about Sales Representatives? I remembered this guy told me once, that the thing he sold was not a perfume, but a "fragranced bottle" that can be carried anywhere.
What kinda bullsh*t is that? I was thinking... perfume IS a fragranced bottle and it ALSO caann be carried anywhere. He knew i would say no to Direct Selling Perfumes because it's not branded, so he changed the theme to "Fragranced Bottle". *makes DUH face*

sales reps would lie and make you listen to them eventhough you just feel like slapping them at times. Yes yes, dont we all feel like doing that to our boyfriends at times too? But we still listen to them! And if they do came up with a good excuse or explanation, we would buy it. Whyla? After buying it, we would be like: "Why am I buying this again?".

Obviously PRs and Sales Reps are both praised and critisized in this matter.
e.g Dont date them, but they're nice people though. err excuse me?

First of all, DONT is a strong word. I suggest dont date but make friends with PRs and Sales Reps instead. Isn't it much better? As a PR in training i kinda agree that dating one of "us" is risky and may lead to heartbreaks (dont ask why). I find most PRs (you can include me if you want too) are influential and persuasive. not just for our assignments, but in real life too.

In conclusion,
Maybeeee just maybe PRs and Sales Reps are best avoided. IF you hit the jackpot and date the worst PR/ Sales Rep in history- the one that cheats and lies for living, that one you really should kill him/her and tell his/her boss! Most probably he'll get promotion though :D

but take note of this, last time i check, PRs and Sales Reps are human too. they want or know the real thing too. they like and hate the same thing too.

I think we have to kiss (if have to) all the wrong PRs/ Sales Reps to get to the right ones :)

AMEN!

Love,
Jacqkie.