Monday, February 26, 2007

temporary happiness

Starting today maybe i should quote my mum. Seriously, my mum is one of the most intelligent woman i've ever known. Maybe not one of-maybe she is THE MOST. She may be abit irritating and annoying at times (what are mums for right?) but when she advises or encourages me i would take time to listen to her. Even if i dont want to, i feel like somehow, whatever she said/says still goes to my head. and i remember it. and i dont know how she does it, but she surely can.

"We are constantly struggling and chasing for something Jacqkie. After you graduate, you want a good job, after the job, you want a big house, after the big house you want a great family. for what? temporary happiness and then chase some other things?". -Mary Kinti

My mum watched In Pursuit of Happyness the other day with my sister and bro, and after that, there she goes talking about the moral of the story as usual. Most of the time, as much as i get bored listening to whatever mummy wants to say, i tend to concentrate and understand too. My mum told me that she can relate to the movie.

Well of course allllllll mums would say that right?

"Jacqkie, mummy perna go up, down, siring, miring, bengkok, lurus.. you name it. I've gone through all. I have house, but i'm still struggling. I have nice children, i'm still struggling. I dont know what i'm struggling for but it seems like it's ENDLESS. Same to you Jacqkie, the black-and-white you'll get will give you temporary happiness, then when you begin to work, you're back to square one."

My mum has always been my guidepost in life. Her words can be extremely prejudiced or biased at times, but all i know is that she is trying to be protective.

I wonder why at times am i struggling so hard in everything. just like my mum said.

To be accepted? to be understood? to be heard? to join everyone else? to be like what we see? to have what we think is awesome?.. etc etc. everything is temporary happiness indeed. everything.

I guess that's why we were given the chance to live;
to see for ourselves what we are made of .


Thursday, February 22, 2007

most annoying

why oh why am i just like any normal girls who'll pretty much drooled over nice guys?

what? because he listens to my family's stories? because he makes comforting jokes? because he knows what he wants? because he loves his family? because he's not into illegal drugs and looks healthy? because he cares about other people? because he drives nicely? because he studies? because he works too? because he cares about me? because he's rich? because he thinks i'm pretty? because he likes talking to me?

stop it!

i cant drool over almost-perfect-and-most-importantly-i-like-him kinda guys. or in this matter a, guy. because he's just what? nice? attentive?
well guess what, I AM.

i have always thought that dealing with boys i like is easy. but no. i hate the fact that everytime you get excited with another guy it's going to be the same all over again.

>you like him. you dont know he likes you. he calls you. you get dates. he sends you home. you wait for his msgs or calls. and you wait for him somemore.

so WHAT?

obviously, you can tell that i like someone now huh?

i dont know. maybe. yeah. i think so. i hope not!

I'm not sure!

and the annoying thing is i dont know how to handle it. it's stupid because i've been through all these overrrr and overrrrrrrrr and overrrrrrrrr again. and i still dont know what to do next?

i hang out with a lot of people but i have a feeling i like him. like really! after a year of not having this kinda feeling i think i do now. this particular guy. and if you really know me, you would know that it's not easy for me to like guys. it takes time. a whoooooolllle lot of time!
i dont like random cute or tall guys. i DONT. remember the post that i told you i think i like this one guy and everything- in the september or october 06 archives if i'm not mistaken?

yeah it was him! and i havent like anyone ever since!


Tuesday, February 20, 2007

26 Dating tips by Jacqkie

i'm a total nerd and a loser in relationships. anyway, i went out on a date the other day, and i have some simple nice tips for MYSELF and for other girls or boys out there according to me. yeas, you can ignore this post if you must because it's all from me. even if you really like, you couldn't care less or you hate that guy(i doubt so, since you're out with him), these tips should be practiced because it should! i came up with these tips to remind myself time and time again never to do the dating/outing taboos!

>>if you dont like me, i suggest you Exit the page now. <<

a) never wear anything that shows your cleavage; i wore once this really low cut shirt it made me look like i'm a desperate 24 year old. and that guy was obviously checking out my babies. Oh boyyyyyy!

b) wear really comfortable shoes/ sandals/ heels; some guys will bring you to a "joy- walking ride". whyla brother?

c) always SMILE when you first meet/saw him; flash him your winning date smile, tell him you're excited! i know i am. teheee.

d) be least 70% of youLA; i ate a whole Mee Sup without caring about anything else that time because i was so hungry in front of this guy- it turns out that whole hungry thing turned him on.
weird eh?

e) know your maths; i ate once with this guy and insist on paying my half. somehow, my calculation got jumbled up, he ended up paying for me. hmmmmmmm.
so much for being nice eh?

f) if it's not funny, it's not funny! ; a guy told me a lame joke once and i told him i dont even understand the joke. he diverted the conversation to ice creams. yeay! you dont have to go through lame jokes if you dont want too! be honest!

g) dont feel embarassed with what he's wearing instead make joke out of it positively; i joke once with this guy who wore 'selipar' and shorts to our date and asked him whether he's going anywhere near a farm, he laughed and it made both of us relaxed with the situation after that. i know it's straight forward, but at least i'm honest?

h) if possible, dont tie up your hair; twirl it and play with it if you're bored. he'll notice you're bored and do something about it. it helps! it covers up imperfections too.. ngeh ngeh ngeh.

i) always ask questions, intelligent ones please!; a friend of mine's date once told me my friend was absolutely cute when she asked some interesting questions. it made him look clever. well, look only la. :D

j) dont give directions. help him find it! ; i helped a guy looked for a place once and he thanked me endlessly for it. all i did was ask around. hahaha! you could do it for shops do u know that?

k) pay him good attention about his interest; a guy thanked me for listening to his obsession for cars and bought me dinner. all i did was listen.

l) tell him what you want in a guy and be freaking honest about it; i told a guy once i want a gentleman, rich if possible, and catholic and he changed into this really nice guy. unfortunately, my feelings for him didn't ;(

m) do not pretend you know how to fine dine; i had a fine dine the other night and i warned him firstly. he laughed and said it's ok. he asked his friend and his friend showed me how to. at least i got to learn than not knowing right?

n) DONT bring your friend(s)!; i hope anyone or everyone who's reading this is NOT 13years of age. obviously you dont need your 'cousin' or 'sister' to accompany you anymore.

o) watch movies and dont tuck in; my date dozed once and i felt like killing him and leave him there to rot. but nah, i was too nice to just let him sleep for a minute.

q) wear black if possible (not everywhere but any-where); sexy and elegant. at least that's what i thought so. ;D

r) sneak out to the restrooms for "touchups" if possible; every girl should do this? although i dont really. heh. i got this from cleo.

s) dont whine or complain or talk about your ex! ; i did this and bored the shit out of that guy. i wont do it again, i'll try, i promise, i think.....

t) try not to cross your legs (depends); a girl with a short skirt once crossed her legs in front of my friend. he loved the skin exposure but didn't like the whole seductive pose. i guess it's only ok if it's a mutual thing huh?

u) talk about your studies/work; i love talking to a guy who talks about his studies. not all the time but bits and bits please. intellectual conversations are awesome.

v) LIPGLOSS; forget about the mascara or eyeliners if you dont want too, but lipglosses are must. it makes all girls look 'alive' and 'ready' for the date.

w) leave some..; it's always good to leave some food or whatever you had for your date to try. i didn't leave anything for my date of a cake and he asked me how it was the other day. Malunye.

x) where's your eyes?; avoid wearing sunglasses. a friend complaint to me once when her date wore sunglasses at the beach all the time and it pisses her off. she got bored halfway talking to her own reflection on his shades.
y) ready some small changes; it's always easy when you dont depend completely on your date to pay the parking tickets or tips. right? you will look good and he will feel good as you dont depend completely on him.

z) AVOID the HANDPHONE(s); unless he is really reallly reallllllyyy realllllllllllllyyyyyy IS boring. it is forgiven!

Love and did i mention to you i'm a loser in relationships?

bored with words?

MidValley: Cilla, Jenny and Me. *checkout cilla's priceless expression!*

On the way to Club Flam, Me and Dodo.

Bella's hair (haha), Riezlan, and Baby Amai!

Classic picture of 2004. *who took this?!*

I'm not Indian, Punjab nor Sikh. Family Portrait.

L-R: Nathalie, Ingrid, Priscilla, Me, Sofie, Beverly, Genevieve and Ann.

We're so in LOVE!

L-R: My neighbour, McDonald's best worker, anak John and yeah that girl.

introducing Vanessa and Ayna bebeh! :)

interestingly boring

this is interesting. you can get to know 10% of my past from here. heh.

[x] Talked back to a teacher. *i wanted to stand up for myself ok*
[x] Been kicked out of class. *the whole class!*
[ ] Worn pajamas to school.
[ ] Had your tooth fall out at school.
[ ] Gotten lost in your school.
[x] Broken the dress code in school. * :D *
[x] Completely failed a test. *is this a bonus question?*
[x] Left class without asking.
[x] Missed a whole week of school *gotten really sick*
[x] Thrown up in school.
[ ] Been beat up at school.

[ ] Argue with your parents a lot.
[x] Argue with your brother(s) a lot. *duhhh*
[x] Argue with your sister(s) a lot. *duhhh*
[x] Have your own room. *yeah, i'm kinda spoiled*
[ ] Do your own laundry
[x] Cook dinner once in a while. *only when alone or for sister*
[x] Are loud and obnoxious at home. *the best place to be naughty*
[x] Wear pyjamas when you are not going anywhere. *oh yes!*
[x] You sleep in very long. *duh*
[x] All you do is watch television. *holidays....*
[ ] Your parents are divorced.
[ ] your family makes you cry alot
[ ] One or both of your grandparentslive with you.
[ ] You cant stand being with yourparents

[x] You currently dislike one or more of your friends. *dont we all?*
[x] You are jealous of one or more of your friends. *she's studying in Australia! man!*
[x] You have known a friend your whole life. *almost all of my friends*
[ ] Your friends are all taller than you.
[ ] You have been ditched by a friend.
[x] You have memorized a friends phone number.
[x] You have lost/forgotten a friends phone number.
[ ] You have been to all of your friends houses.
[x]you love most of your friends *is this a bonus question?*

[x] You bite your nails. *yahor, tell me how to stop?*
[ ] You have an odd obsession with knives.
[ ] You cannot sleep with the door closed.
[ ] You cannot sleep with the door open.
[x] There is at least one sound you cannot stand. *Cats' meow when sleeping*
[ ] You write stories about mad cannibalistic serial killers
[x] You are good at telling lies *ehem, dont we all*

[ ]You currently like someone.
[ ] You want to kill one of your exes.
[x]You can stay commited for an unusually long time. *trust me, i CAN*
[x] You get bored of your crush/bf/gfeasily. *in this case, crush. who doesnt?*
[x] A crush/bf/gf has called you a bitch before. *i cant seem to remember who, heh*
[x] A crush/bf/gf has called youself-centered before. *sorry?*

[x] You hate George Bush. *thanks for making the world so much worst now*
[x] Abortion is horrible and should be illegal*stop making babies if you dont want them!*
[x] Gay marriage is fine by you. *they love just like how we love- whats wrong?*
[ ] Boys make better friends than girls do.
[x] The beach is an excellent place for a date. *sunsets!*
[ ] Pink is an ugly color.
[ ] Needles aren't so horrible.
[ ] Human flesh tastes like fine aged veal
[x]You have plenty of secrets *ngeh ngeh ngeh- so many of them*

[x] Fallen up the stairs. *when i was a kid*
[x] Someone has tied your shoelaces together. *crazy ex*
[x] Had a nail fall off. *a microphone hit my toenail*
[ ] Captured, Manipulated, or Destroyed a soul by Ars Falcis
[ ] Had surgery
[x] Slapped someone across the face. *UNINTENTIONALLY ;(*
[ ] Killed someone.
[x] Someone has called you a tease. *oops*
[ ] You have been to Europe.
[ ] You have worn something inside outfor a whole day


Monday, February 19, 2007

Chinese New Year!

So it's chinese new year again and i loved the Chinesey feeling around. Haha, 'chinesey'.

Anyway, i was invited to a friend's house today in Cheras KL and well since i dont have a car i have to use the public transport to go there.
(Darn you public transport- i thought i could forget about you during the holidays!)

So, i took taxi to midvalley and from there i took the ktm to Salak Selatan. and from there i had to take another cab which costed me RM15.00 to go to my friends' house. and well i got lost.

okay, okay i'm not 'complaining' just 'mentioning' things happened today.
when i reached there i met up with all her family members and greet them Chinese New Year nicely and got fed with tons and tons of nice food. Oh man, it was so nice of them! i was also introduced to this one vegetarian dish which tasted really good and i learn some chinese traditions;
a) eat vegetarian on the first day of cny.
b) cant sweep the floor on the first day of cny.
c) cant wash clothes on the first day of cny.

Awesome eh! as i was talking to Jenny, she asked me how i got there and everything, and i told her about the ktmla;

Jacqkie: oh, i was from Midvalley and i took the ktm to Salak Selatan.
Jenny: Huh? what are you doing in Salak Selatan?
Jacqkie: i thought i had to stop there?
Jenny: No. it's Bandar Tasik Selatan.
Jacqkie: alamak, i stopped there.
Jenny: no wonder i had to wait for you for quite awhile. then it must be expensive la? Coz from Bandar Tasik Selatan is only RM4-5.
Jacqkie: (thinking oh shit) erm RM10something-something. (lie, it was RM15).
Jenny: Oh my gosh! thats expensive!

heh, this is what happens when you're trying to be so clever by not looking PROPERLY at the address.

what surprised me was, i was the only one there from my school. Maybe the rest came earlier or later, but i was the only one there when i came. her mom gave me a plastic full of mandarins and some really nice cookies and sweets. Awwwww.. and ang pau too. *grins*

After the visit, i had to go to church. Alone. my cousin got sick so she cant really walk around. poor her. that didnt stop me from going to church (aishmen, tembirang la this). I took the KTM from Bandar Tasik Selatan(correct now!) to midvalley and from there i took the cab and went for church.

as you expected, I got lost again! and finally i reach church after 25minutes of searching the place. My gosh. i'm such an idiot sometimes.

lets just say i did alot of alone-travelling today and alot of losing directions. *rolls eyes*.
But i'm glad my friend loved my company and fed me all these really nice chinese foods, and gave me oreo, and some cookies and some mandarins.. seriously alot of foods! and going to church just makes "wasted tons of money today" worth it.

Church Mass is the best thing after food. dont you think so?

ps: i'm a huge fan of culture/ traditions. Invite me to any ceremony, open houses, celebrations culture or tradition related, i'll try and be there! *Smiles widely*


Saturday, February 17, 2007

give him back!

i meet up with abang today. yeay!! i miss him sooo soooo soooo much! as soon as i saw him i had this huge smile on my face and i know he could tell i miss him. i miss him asking me to do things for him, i miss him listening to whatever rubbish i said, i miss him calling me 'budu' at times, i miss his crazy jokes, i miss his weird long winded explanation, i miss listening to his stories, i miss talking to him about ika and mummy, i miss asking him things about medicine and 'doctory' stuffs, basically i miss him!

i always wonder sometimes why he's been so busy nowadays even when he's only a medic student. i envy everyone around him in Seremban who gets to spend time with him everyday, i envy them so much!

i get worried at times thinking he's so busy even he's only a student now, what's going to happen when he starts working already? when he has become a doctor? who's on call 24hours a day?

in a government's hospital? and then gets married? and with children?


i want my brother back!! i want my brother back!! stop stealing them you bloody future and career! I WANT HIM BACK! i dont want him to get old and has his own life! NO!

dont give me that look, i know i'm selfish people, but i guess i promise you i wont show it. i promise to be there for him no matter what happens and love him as much as i do now even when he's married or very busy with his career. i promise you i wont hurt him by saying i want him all to ourself(my family) and not sharing him with anyone. and i promise you to understand his career and keep this irrational childish feeling to myself and my sister. *makes sad face*
My sister and I cant never never never ever get enough of him.

i decided that I REALLY HATE GROWING UP!

Loves my brother,

Friday, February 16, 2007

is that... ME?

Stop saying i look good with Shorter hair and Stop saying i should change to Penelope Cruz's posters or anyone with bigger boobs and Stop saying i should slim down and dont you even think of asking me "Which one's me?" in the poster. because OBVIOUSLY i'm NOT the guy.

I have braven up myself to show you my Photoshop Assignment, where i had to crop my face and paste onto a poster(replacing the original's face of the girl in the poster). And crop does not means, crop and paste, crop means spending hours in front of the computer, fixing the edges and the skin tones. Before you start laughing, i suggest you try doing it first. Deal?

i thought so.

visit for a bigger picture.



why is Scrubs so funny and real hospitals aren't?

First of all, i miss my brother so much. i want him to come PJ tonight so i can tell everything that happened to him. i miss you bang! bila ko mau jumpa sia?

Re to the title.

as i asked you earlier, why Scrubs and real hospitals arent the same? I went to Hospital Assunta last night to visit someone and i dont like hospitals at all. PERIOD. Dont get me wrong, i'm not those city girls that hates going to hospitals because it's gross or whatever, what i cant deal with are, the sad patients waiting for other people to visit them, the needles sticking out from their body, the spooky smell, the blood, the painful noises and the lonely 'elderlys' .

in short, the 'sad feeling' of hospital. i know i shouldn't have make them feel bad by pitying them, the problem is i got EXTREMELY soft heart at times that i can get so emotional looking at the patients and the hospital's environment.

Everytime i go to hospitals i would find myself trying so hard not to cry. it crushes me to see why hospitals are so big and why are they so many sick people in it. to know that there's tons of sickness in this world, scare me sometimes. i cant look at sick people, i would pity them and probably, i would just emotionally be there for them instead of 'fixing' their sickness.

i know, that's why my brother is the doctor. i envy him being able to help sick people and be the kind-doctor everyone wants to be. to know that he has what it takes to help-patients and most importantly he wont break down and sympathise other people, instead he'll do things to help.
no wonder doctors are doctors.

FYI, my abang just called and i burst out. I MISS HIM so much. and he's going back tomorrow. it's not fair. i want him to spend time with me first!

i should stop watching Scrubs. it makes me believe that Hospitals can be okay at times. i realized it can never be okay and stop saying it can because while you're talking, someone is on the Hospital bed getting operated.


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

my valentine

first of all, to whom it may concern YOU owe me your life!

nah, just kidding.

Okay, it's valentine's again and i know everyone is so excited about it..

except well.. for ME.
It would be ok if i was in love or at maybe at least in a relationship but since i'm not, i dont LIKE valentine's day.

the waste of money, the expensive food, the lovey dovey love notes, the coordinated shirt colour, the giggles, surprises...

a friend of mine invited me to this one "function" which i may call it as Valentine's dinner although i dont want to admit it was a valentine's dinner, because it was rather... ODD. the fact that we're not really close friends makes the situation even weirder.

As soon as we reached the restaurant, his friend told us that we need to pretend we're a couple. STRIKE 1.
After saying no and eew about a million times , i eventually decided to just go with the flow. and well what the heck, i should have fun anyway.

the food was quite nice, and i must say although i dont even really know what i ate, (hmmm), i pretended like i'm enjoying the food, because well, i guess it's the nicest thing to do. *grins*

i was given a small box but i had to give the small box to my friend instead, and inside the box contains a love note, which he HAS to read (lame, cheesy, eeeewwish) infront of everyone and dedicate it to me.

I was laughing so hard AT HIM and i guess after that it was pretty obvious to everyone that we're not a couple huh.

Everyone had this "awww so sweet expression" but some were laughing their heads off like me. I could tell it was pretty embarassing. somehow it was VERY entertaining too! STRIKE 2.

The third one was extremely ridiculous.

EXTREMELY ridiculous i say!

he had to tell everyone where we first met each other and how the love blooms and all the crappy things that makes us in love. i was forcing him not to do it, because if he does, i'll either kill myself or him! it was extremely embarassing for both of us! and the worst part was, he had to kiss me on the cheek to make it more convincing! OMG! Did i mention to you he's not really a close friend of mine?

But then again, he DID NOT do it. teeeeheeee. *phew* so no third strike! I was so happy he didn't embarassed himself again and after that, i was pretty much okay with everything else.

i absolutely love the dessert, YUMMY and my favourite part was, it was absolutely free! EVERYTHING! screw the embarassment, the drink that tasted like Vitagen, and the ugly clothes i wore and the fact that i really dont know how to Fine-dine(i can be soo budak kampung at times), it was absolutely freaking free! hehehe. neh neh neh neh neh~

*if your valentine was something like mine- where you had to celebrate it with a new friend, expressed their "love" infront of everyone, pretended you were a couple, ate stuffs you dont know, wore slacks and cardigan for dinner(don't ask me why), drank Mocktail that tasted like Vitagen and won a pen stand for a prize, and not just receiving flowers and chocolates as usual-let's just say we had some wacko "new" valentines dont we!

Okay, that was my weird valentine's celebration. what about yours?


Saturday, February 10, 2007

BLOOD diamond

from the title itself it's pretty obvious to know what movie i watched today. it was blood diamond of course. if there is one word to describe this movie it would be. SCARY.

i think the two hours watching the movie was probably the most violence i've ever watch on screen in my entire life. it was extremely scary and very sad. to know that there was such thing happened in this world, and the sadder part is, in some parts of the world this thing is still going on.

Synopsis: It was about a place called Searra Leonne that was very much popular for it's land of diamonds. In that place, there are "soldiers" that called themselves Revolutionary Soldiers R.U.F,and if by any chance they found any villages or small livings, they would destroy and KILL all of them. They would take away young boys to join the R.U.F, they would brainwash them, drugged them, give them guns and teach them how to kill people. It was sick to see these people taught young kids to use guns and kill their own race. These boys were extremely vulnerable and the only way to keep living is to join the R.U.F and be one of them. One man survived the R.U.F(Djimon), he was forced to work for them looking for diamonds when he found a pink diamond which was considered a rare-find and very valuable. He was caught by the african millitant and was put into jail, and from there Leo DiCaprio found out that this man (Djimon- VERY GOOD ACTOR) discovered a pink diamond and hid it. to know this, he was desperate to make deals with Djimon and get the pink diamond with return he will give Djimon, his family. From there, they went through all the killing and Leo met an American Journalist that was eager to look for story on conflict diamonds. The great friendship they built urged and changed Leo to tell the exact story on conflict diamonds- who buys them, what happened, and why it happened. and proofs.

*the acting was absolutely brilliant. all the actors did an unbelieveable outstanding job. Djimon my personal favourite in this movie gave an incredible 5 star performance. excellent cinematography, picture, scriptwriting, plot, everything. i have nothing bad or even unsatisfied comment on this movie. absolutely nothing. it was flawless. it was one of the scariest movie to watch but a must see. to learn how money and exploitation kills people and corrupts everyone. until they would kill their own people for money.

i have always known about Searra Leonne since few years back, but never have i known what actually happenned and how things happened. when i saw this movie, i was extremely sad to saw the killings and saw how they corrupt young kids to go against their family. all in all, it was definitely a MUST SEE movie regardless anyone saying bad or not good about it.

you must know the real story behind coflict-diamonds or what i think it should really be called, blood diamonds- that people get killed and kills for these diamonds.

i'll think not once, not twice but billions of times when i want to buy diamonds now. although i think i cant afford one. the impact of the movie, it's soo.... scary!
Last say? watch it.

Djimon (Solomon Vandy) finally found his wife and two daughters in a refugee camp.

Love Jacqkie.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

money = education

If there's one bitchy thing about college, it's definitely the assignments. if i could give up on the assignments i would, but the thing is, i CANT. money is education, education is money. NOTHING ELSE. don't contradict me in this matter because i dont want to know your opinion. this is mine and mine alone.

the only reason you and i are still doing our assignments is because we want to make MONEY. well.. in later contextla.
the only reason i want to be very good at what i'm doing now and learn more in whatever i possibly can is because i want to make MORE MONEY. basically, everything that has to do with our so called "studies" is MONEY related.

Once i start making money, i swear i'll start keeping them for my children (in future) for their education. It's something i dont want to admit but it's true. Money buys education. NOTHING ELSE. not sad stories, not inspiring stories and not even hardworking parents.

Explain failing subjects but at the end of the day you still have your black-and-white? MONEY.

I promise to give my "children" good education and most importantly make things possible for them. I want to be rich so that everything i experienced now will be paid off. i want to give good education to those who cant afford it (the best i can only la....), i want to take part in the country's education development, i want to educate people in any ways i could though i may not hold a PhD or Master or whatever those stuffs that you need to be verified as intelligent or whatever you call it by then.

If only ALL of us are millionaire. We will make more millions. dont you think?

*back to earth*

If you havent heard from me after ten years or so, please remind me on my mission to help those who cant afford to continue their studies ok? Please do.


Sunday, February 04, 2007


I have known this guy for about 3 years now. I was in KK and he was staying in Selangor. He firstly added me in MSN and ever since we have "officially" became friends. He has always been this "I smoke-i'm spoiled-and i love girls so much kinda guy". He used to disgust me with his filthy jokes, scare me with his crazy stories, made me laughed at his weird jokes etc etc etc.
I have always hated and loved him at the same time. and he SO knows about it and hated and loved me too.

One normal night, as i was expecting normal conversations with him, somehow we got into some very personal and life issues conversation. He gave me his point of views on life and i gave mine. we're ALWAYS NOT in the same line but somehow were intrigued with each other's opinions.
I used to hate his opinions. They're very mean and well... realistic. Mine were always very mean(toooooo) but more emotions-based and he didnt liked it at all. He hated how i looked at things.

It was after the conversation that changed everything. He was as if in loved with me. All the drama, the hate, the fights- were loved. He told me he thought of me as someone special and very unique indeed.

He knew i was gonna go to KL to continue my studies thus the friendship till today. After talking to him online only for almost a year, he finally saw me in real life.

I remembered him asking me;

MR.J: How do i know if you're a real person?
Me: You're just gonna have to believe. Besides you've seen my pics on MSN. DUH.
MR.J: ya oh. Okayla.

It was cute of him to ask that question but hey, even if i were him i would ask the same thing. But maybe only to myself.

After he met up with me the first time, he kept asking me out. and again. and again. My answer never changed; NO and NO and NO. but he never gave up on me.

Until one time, i did. And said yes to going out with him.

I was expecting him to be all-out but yes, he did not. He became this shy guy and very "holy". I know. i was surprised myself!

***I just finished chatting up with him. NOW, he's extremely nice, very gentleman, respectful, sweet, hard-working and "clean". Talking to him is like talking to a 25 year olds. Although he's only a couple years older.

Interesting how time changes him huh? And back then i thought i was going to hate him forever.
Not anymore. I love MR.J(not relationship kind) and he loves me too! (the relationship kind- oops).

but i'm so proud of who he is now. Time might change how i see him too right? ;)


Friday, February 02, 2007

i love ferrero.

it doesnt really matter what you blogged, what matters is WHY u blogged it.

I saw the ferrero rocher commercial the other day and was practically drooling over it after. ferrero rocher is one of my favourite chocolate ( i love NUTS *wink*) of all time.

It really really is delicious.

I want to buy if possible one box of ferrero rocher but.... i'm on a tight budget and who am i to spend on some random stuffs i feel like eating, rite? *slap me! it's the hazardous chocolates!*

anyway, me and my cousin went to Guardian the next day. As my cousin were looking at the soaps and whatever that was they need to buy, i was playing with the makeup testers! weeee! I didnt buy anything because, well i need to refrain myself from buying things everytime i go out.
As everyone was busy looking for their things i was playing around with the makeup testers and reading some condom labels (just for fun).

After finish paying up everything, one of my cousin (oh i love you dodo) took out a small plastic bag from a bigger guardian plastic bag and hand the small plastic bag to me.

Me: apa nih?
Dodo: Check la.
Me: *checking....* WAHHHH!!!!!!!
Dodo: *smiles*
Me: Eh, kenapa ko beli? Biar sia bayar ko balik!!!
Dodo: eh janganla.
Me: Oh gosh.. Thanks! SO much! *straight away open a plastic of Ferrero Rocher*

Dodo: makanla.
Me: I AM!!

in conclusion,
you might never know who would notice what you like and what you want or what i drooled (errr). Most importantly, you'd never know that they actually do care.

i was surprised to get the small yet VERY MEANINGFUL (ferrrrerrro!) thing from my cousin. It takes more than just a ferrero rocher to make me happy. It was she taking note of it and took the effort to buy one for me.