Monday, December 31, 2007

i want to sleep

It's 2.20AM.

...and I cant believe I voluntarily inserted the Trance/ Rave/ House CD in. I'm in desperate need to stay awake, I pray to God that this kind of music will help me.

It kinda did.

I have millions of work to do and I'm not even halfway there. The slavemaster will be around tomorrow after her holidays from Dubai, and I'm not so sure what will happen if I'm not done with my work by 9.30am this morning. I'll be a dead meat like them Char-Siews hanging behind those Chinese Stalls' glass windows. How the hell can I still be random at this time.

The mother and my number one fan (my sister), left for KK at 4 something yesterday. Having a number one fan like Jessy my sissy, can be unproductive sometimes. For each and every word that comes from my mouth is considered a joke or sarcasm. If any of you watched E!'s Diorrhhea video, you'll probably be very estranged to it as I was. Mummy got hooked on the infectious lyrics.

Mum: I have a bad case of Diorrhea!, I have a bad case of Diorrhea!
Jessy: Mummy!!!!!! *giggles*
Me: *whispering to Jessy* I dont think mummy will ever have that problem.
Jessy: *hit me real hard on the arm and laughed histerically while nodding*
Mum: *gave me the stern look* I can hear that.
Me: I know.

I will for sho' miss the Etiqa moments I was made to live these past few days.

"After a crazy meal, only one will prevail on being the first person to use the tiny-weeny-one-and-only toilet in the house!"- Abang.

Abang couldn't tahan living like this, he would complain and whine occasionally. Being the princess in the family (ironically), we'd have to give the most comfortable bed to him. Mum, Jessy and I would take turns sleeping on the floor or on this half century old bed that I actually think is decomposing as I'm writing this.

I need to get back to work. I need to drink lots and lots of coffees. I desperately need someone to abduct my slavemaster so that she wont be coming to work tomorrow. I need a time machine, so that I can stop time; waste it and use it and then use it for more evil purposes. I need Bob Marley's greatest hits (all hits). I need to bank-in my growing-webs cheques. I need to wrap sweet's x'mas gift and give it to him while it's still valid for the seasons.

Last but not least, I need to burn these paperworks once I'm done with internship and the school reports. Wish me luck on that. I'm thinking of open burning, with some magic spells to make it be gone from my low-bandwidth brain for the rest of my life.

If you must, try avoiding New Year's resolutions (which I failed every single year as there will be some random realization of things to change of myself usually few minutes before the countdown- retard). Oh, Have a good New Year's celebration and have a blessed, productive, fun-filled 2008 everyone.

Cheers and Love,
Jacqkie.


Wednesday, December 26, 2007

s-t-u-p-i-d

Yesterday (it's 25th the sacred Christmas Day by the way) at exactly this time around, I felt stupid, idiotic, useless, angry, confused, dissapointed, retarded, basically everything which resembles stupidity in all forms. I felt like giving up, and just conform to those Jacqkie jokes that I get too often, internalized it in my brain and just blardy freaking live with it!

Have I told you that there are Proffession Jokes, Christian Jokes, Family Jokes and just plain Jacqkie jokes? If I start compiling all the stupidness I've done since baby, it'll be thicker than those religious books I bet.

I wanted not to cry. Trust me, I really did. I was trying so hard holding it back but dwelling upon it too much didn't helped and it just felt so comfortable to cry then and there with sweets wrapping his arms around me. I couldn't help but pity sweets for putting up with dating an idiot like me, but loved him more for forcing himself being so understanding of the world renown fact: that I really CAN be THE dumbest girl in the whole world without a doubt. and can still sayang me.

Sorry I couldn't share it with you guys on what happened, because I just dont want too. Only sweets know what happened and I like to keep it that way. I know it's annoying when you start spilling bits and pieces of a secret or something you'd not want anyone to know; but then publicly arousing people to think of the worst cases scenario by writing this, with conclusion you're never gonna tell them what really went down. I know it's a pain in the arse but I need to spill out how I feel- but never the whole story.

Right now, I'm much happier and brighter. Thanks to sweets for making my Christmas Day an awesome one regardless of all the bullcrap that happened to me this week. I was missing him badly and thought I'm unable to see him these few days, but God really work in strange ways and with the tight schedule having my family around, miraculously, I ended up spending Christmas Day this year with him. Thank you for being you, sayang. *smiles widely*

He didn't do anything wrong if you're assuming that, in total contrast, he was the main and only reason I smiled sincerely & genuinely after that shit. I got all soft and smiley when he's around, it really is impossible not to be me again around him. *blushes* The whole day revolved on how stupid I can be. In this context; very, unbelivably, award-winning, you're the man, stupid.

I should really stick a big fat STUPID sticker on my forehead to warn people. OH, if there's a Miss Stupid competition like those beauty pageants, I bet I'll win it with no complications. AND, I can make it as an Ice-breaker, I'll introduce myself as "Stupid Jacqkie" and people will get confuse with the remark, and then I'll begin the conversation!

OMG. I feel really dumb, and please let me feel dumb, for at least a week or two. I want too.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

of this week

I just got back from Singapore, and yes everyone’s home, safe and sound, one piece.

Unfortunately, not all of me; I lost my handphone.

It may sound funny when it happened to you for the second time, but it's no more funny when it happened to you for the 18th billion times. Really, I'm so disappointed at myself, it's seriously unacceptable.

Well, this is what happened:

We reached Singapore's Immigration at about 3pm. I was woken up by my sis, everyone was rushing down to go get all the immigration needs done, I waited for everyone to get down and I was the last one to leave the bus. I was in a rush myself, and wasn't sure whether the bus will fetch us back later from the immigration to the final stop (Beach Road). The American girl sitting next to us left her sweater and I took it with me all the way, chasing after her so that I can give it back to her. I carried it along the way, and passed it to her when I saw her. Ironically, I saved someone’s belonging and left mine instead. So much for believing in Karma. But I still do lah.

Assuming that my precious belonging will still be there, I kept it to myself in hopes that when the bus comes back to fetch us, my Travis will still be there. After an hour or so, the bus was still not there. It just never came!

That's when I finally decided to tell mum and of course prepared myself for the rain of sarcasm that will make this vacation worst; surprisingly and unusually, mummy was really calm. She wasn't pissed off or being provocative at all. She even asked me to use her phone to talk to sweets about it, so that I won’t be depressed the whole time and so that he won’t get worried of me not contacting him the whole day.

They even made a joke out of this whole thing.

Abang: Who do you think can join Amazing Race Asia among us?
Jessy: Jacqkie can lah, she independent and she simply ask people wan.
Abang: Yeahlah, hey imagine she'll reach there first,
*imitating the host's voice* Jacqkie you're the first to arrive, but we have to disqualify you, because you lost your passport, and IC, and handphones along the way. HAHAHAHHAHAH!
Me: .......... mummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mummy: It's true,
Me: .....

and of course this dumb non-blonde (who else), tried calling her sweetheart countlessly since she reached Singapore only to realize (after she reached Johor after the trip), that it was the wrong number all along. An Indian guy finally picked the call up and clarified that it was the wrong number all along and that he’s really not Daren, whether I believe him or not.

I bought a new phone, and am still using the old number, so people please message your contact details to me; I appreciate it very much as right now, sadly, I only have few known contacts in my phone including Digi's Helpline. I feel lost and useless, as I can’t wish everyone Christmas, sadder, I expect them to wish me first so that I can ask who they are. and then, wish them merry christmas. *sigh*

The fact that this elf house of ours is packed with ten adults, is a strange substitute of what I’d hope my Christmas would be. Christmas is different this year, but to have them people I love close to me (literally) is an amazing home-sickness medicated feeling, it’s sweet. I’ve been really physically tired nowadays, maximizing the time I have to spend with them. It really is okay, because they’re never here often. The best part of these would be; coming back to a house where it’s not empty, where you’re not lonely, and instead of the television’s sounds, it’s the sounds of your loved ones whimpering, bickering and of amusing each other. Wonderful.

Will stop here, and will let the pictures tell you abit of Singapore. I have tons of pictures but only chose certain ones that I find amusing to show it to you guys. Till then, have a beautiful Christmas, I’ll leave you yourself to define “beautiful” Christmas, and please message me your number. *giggles*

..a symbiotic relationship.
Orchard Road; the young blood was tired, the queen wasn't.
...more of Orchard Road.
One of the Christmas Decos, I'm still wondering, does Ballet = Christmas?
Angels!
I find this cute, post letters box.
Ways we should try; to encourage people to litter INTO the bin. I think it's around Bras Basah Road.
Is it just me or does Bras Basah sounds funny?
Love,
Jacqkie

Monday, December 17, 2007

Two days!

I cant believe Christmas is just around the corner. Usually at this time around, I would already be all jumpy and excited for Christmas but it's somewhat dull this year. I know that my Chrismassy mood would escalate drastically when I meet up with my family, so now, I'm just waiting for my reasons of living to come down to KL and will spend lots of quality time with them. I miss them, terribly. I really do.

Oh if you're wondering why I have all these funny Christmas images, I have one thing to share with you guys. I personally think Christian/ Christmas jokes and humors are the best. Not the racist jokes, or those proffesion mockings, but Christian jokes yo! I can actually google for it everyday and laugh by myself reading or looking at those pictures, I know, I can be very lifeless at times.

If you remember any part of my previous posts where I talked about my health, just so you know, things actually got worst. My knee caps would be in pain on a regular basis and my whole body gets cold very easily. I have occasional back aches which doesn't allow me to sit-up for so long which leaves me to only one fun activity to do: resting on my back- on my bed. "WOHOO!"

...I feel like an old woman.

What I really loathe about trips and vacations, it would definitely be the whole pre-vacation arrangements. I'm talking about those annoying ticketing and bookings you should make before going on these vacations. Those tons of phone calls you need to make to clarify the bookings and of course make good considerations out of it. Dear God, at this time around where I know you'd really be around (giggles), please let us reach Singapore and reach back in PJ, all of us in one piece, please.

I'm pumped up excited that the evil knievel mummy and bugger jessy would be around in two days time. I need to clean up my room and prepare the beddings for those much more important people to sleep on, with me definitely NOT being one of them. Some of you might know that my house is "cute" where extra room-spaces are considered precious. The last desperate measure would be squeezing my sister to sleep on the same couch (which is also made for elfs I think) with me, as both of us refused to sleep on the floor but prioritized the elderly. Oh well, we'll leave that to critical thinking only when they're here shall we? There's always the lawn right? :D

After going downtown with sweets to buy the bus tickets to Singapore, I told mum to book the hotel as soon as possible since we got the tickets already. This is what I got:

Me: Mummy, how's the hotel booking coming along?
Mummy: I dont know lah girl, worst come to worst we'd have to be like Baby Jesus and sleep in a manger! *laughs to herself*
Me: MUMMY, IT'S NOT FUNNY! *...but i was actually trying hard not to laughlah*

Till then, wait for more updates but I'm pretty excited of leaving my laptop here at home for Singapore. Like I said, laptops should be avoided at this festive season. Have a happy holiday.

Love,
Jacqkie

Friday, December 14, 2007

5 days to go!

It felt just yesterday that I was on my first day of my internship and now left 16 days till I’ll leave this place. The other end of this realization would be that college is starting soon as well. I’m not sure whether I’m thrilled for college as this will be the last semester of our diploma. Some of my friends will be leaving to other places and some may stopped from diploma and would start working immediately.

The point is, once a thing’s started (last semester), you’d definitely be a step closer to the end of having anymore classes together that you loved and hated those days of working together. Regardless, if it wasn’t because of my classmates, I would not have gotten the taste of what college really is and really loved it. And Daren would be the other reason of getting excited going to college of course with my hipocracy explained as I used to swore to myself to never "like" anyone from the same college. and then, he happened. Just like that, without warning.

Wednesday (Thursday 13th December 2007):

8.00 AM: Quiet and alone
Checking emails while browsing facebook. Checking yesterday’s work and start working on what needs to be done later.

10.10AM: Quiet, very cold with few colleagues around.
Checking emails while browsing facebook. Start calling customers for a research and start compiling feedback.

11.15AM: Still quiet, very very cold, and all colleagues are here now.
Checking emails while browsing facebook. Start calling custom…


kkkkkkrinnngggggggg!!!!!

Me: What the hell?! Should we go or something?!


10 seconds later, the coffee bar’s door opened.

“Sorry yah, testing saja tuh bell.”

Me: (jaw dropped) TESTING?!

It’s actually fine by me if the alarm bell was 50 meters away. Since it wasn’t and the fact that it’s actually right behind me, let’s just say; every bosses should do that once in a while. I was actually pretty awake after that.

If there’s anything I’d like to remember about internship it would definitely be the nice curry puffs and coffees I have for breakfast every morning. It’s a routine already and I so love it; it’s actually the other reason for me to go to work besides calling up wrong people and laughed by myself at all those wrong numbers that I called. I remembered there’s this one time where I was so not in the mood of talking to the guy on the other line;

Me: Good Afternoon, is this Edmund? *…and noticed a girl's voice*
Girl: Urm, no??
Me: *still noticing the girl's voice* So this is not Edmund lah?
Girl: ...er, no? I’m not an "Edmund".
Me: Oh, do you mind telling me where's Edmund?
Girl: I... DONT, KNOW!! Okay, I’ll give you another number for you to call okay???

Eventually the girl gave me her husband’s cell number. I felt like whacking myself but couldn’t because the whole thing was so funny I couldn't stop laughing. Anyway, how do I put this delicately; due to Malaysian’s “consistent and very predictable” weather and “stress” of doing “some” work, my skin’s unhappy- and yes I’m having skin complaint! And that’s a lot of inverted commas there I used. Remember the holidays that I’m dying to get approved by my (quote unquote Denise) “Slave- Master” on the 21st and 24th of December?

.................

Well, I really-really wanted the 6days leave, mummy and Jessica are coming down and I wouldn’t want to miss any minute spending time with them. Well, what happened was…

I GOT THE 6 DAYS LEAVE! *evil laugh*

Mummy finally saw Sweets through Friendster and since you’re getting this first-hand too baby, mummy thinks you look young. I don’t really know what she meant but I have a feeling she’s indirectly saying that I look older. So if I look older, he’ll definitely look younger right? But then again, if he looks younger does that mean I look older than him or just old or maybe, he just looks younger than me? You know what, I’m confusing myself.

Still figuring out on how to go to Singapore/ Penang /Melaka at this eleventh hour, I've suggested mummy with *tadaa* TRAIN! I knew she would hate it since she's been traumatized by her previous experience of having to sit in the train for 10 hours and only to reach Singapore looking like crap, was not an option for her. Oh well, any suggestions everyone? Just so you know, one of the best thing about going vacation is not being able to touch your laptop. OMG. I love that feeling, laptops should really be avoided at this festive season!

HAVE A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!

Love,
Jacqkie.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

I'm so excited!

Everytime I'm in the car with mummy, we would never miss this conversation:

Me: *singing to the music* You can stay under my umbrel..
Mummy: *switches channel*
Me: ....I'm singing to it.
Mummy: *..found Lite FM* Wohoo, this is more my music.
Me: But it's old.
Mummy: Which part of me looks young to you?
Me: .....
Mummy: It's my car, it's my petrol, and i'm paying for lunch later. So enjoy my music!
Me: But, meh*, It's weirdlah. Somehow all the birds can sing and all the guys want to cross over the valley just to see the girl. *sigh*
Mummy: *trying hard not to laugh* Hey, it's my car okayy!

However, right now, I'm so obsessed with Lite FM. I couldn't get enough of Lite FM. I used to think they play really slow music, only for those who've been in this world long enough to know all the music, and of course *makes yawning gesture*. I've succumb to Lite FM for pure relaxation and old memories. Although I admit sometimes I absolutely have no clue who those artists are, their exaggaration in lyrics and simple tunes, are dreamy and very soothing. Mummy must be very happy to know that I finally understood that some people are willing to cross over the valley for someone they love...Anyway!

Sorry for the previous emo posts, here are livelier things for you to ogle see. Went to The Curve again with the usual suspects, and watched Enchanted again (eh, dont judge me! I was doing it for my friends :D) and hung out with these best friends of mine.

Oh Kerry, *imitating Giselle's Ah-ah-ah-ah* okay, it may look retarded here, but you get what I mean. Hehehehehe.

The only caption needed: The girl at the right end where you can only see her hair, is Denise!

Have I reminded you that it's the Year End Sale now?

My house here is one of the smallest house in PJ. So my cousin bought this (I think about) 30cm tall Christmas Tree (even elfs' christmas trees are bigger wei). So everytime I see big Christmas trees I get so excited! This one's pretty. But I personally love, white Christmas trees.

Okay, that pretty girl on the right (Sway) wants to take picture with the frozen fella there (Snowman), but the fella is in this small gate and he's actually about few meters away from us, so without anyone's help, she took the picture trying to fit the fella in between us, and *voila!* she did it superbly! *giggling* It was actually freaking hillarious.

The two sweetest girls in my life: Audreeyh and De!

Check out the lovely Christmas Tree!

Sorrylah, but the camera was with us most of the time, so.... yea!

OMG, I MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH!
Kerry, this is actually a very good picture of you! *smiles widely and hopes not to be poke*

Omg, we actually stopped the lift to take this picture. Not for once or twice, but for almost 10minutes! ....and it's blurry for Goodness sake. *shakes head*

Mummy used to tell me not to get so excited about something before it even happens. "You could be very dissapointed with the outcome if you have so many expectations, or worse, that day just wouldn't come!" But this particular thing is so worth getting excited tooooo!

12 days to go for mummy and Jessy to come to KL! I'm so excited you have no idea. Was thinking of taking 2days leave, on the 21st and on the 24th- so that I'll have 6days off! I'm so freaking excited. The thing is, havent ask my Master about it. Darn, will do next week. Wish me luck in getting these two days off!

Love,
Jacqkie.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Get to know what it feels like

Remember this?

"They pushed themselves around and played with each other's hair. Both wearing simple shirts and trousers. Whispering of things i'd not want to know. She was skinny, short-haired, with thick glasses. Acnes covered most of his face, he has short undefined haircut, and was smiling amusingly, which I assume at his appreciated jokes.

They seem so.. happy? trouble-free? i'd say in love. Puppy love. The really fun puppy love. It never failed to make me smile. It was like a scene I visualized from a book I read, a young couple pleased with each other's companion more than anything in the world. It was everything they thought they needed. Looking at them, love seems so believable and innocent.
I was lost in my thoughts after seeing the young lovebirds. The only thing I remember was asking myself;

.......What. The Hell. Am I. Looking. For. In Them?"
August 24, 2007

CLICK HERE to read the complete post

It isn't about me now. Or us. I'm writing down my thoughts because I accidentally came across this post I wrote when I was still in my solitary days.

Infatuation is probably the most exciting feeling one could have. But, it's purposeless. Or maybe, temporary. Some people may like the whole idea of having things temporary or no strings attached, keeping things then and there or people in this case as much and as "professional" as you can. But I wonder, really, why would we human do that? Why do we chase for something temporary when you could have that one reason to wake up in the morning?

I've always been naive, and everyone I love have always been worried for me on how this wicked world would treat such person like me. Getting back into a relationship is, like walking on a piece of glass sometimes. You'd never know what to expect, or maybe what to hope. For someone like me who'd give up anything to live a simple life, and not be bugged by drama, living under a shell with a book in my hand, is probably the best life I could imagine. But then I realized that I'm only human, where heartfelt is a huge part of my decision making and that humans shouldn't run from problems and drama in life but bitch-slap it and embrace the lesson learned.

As much as I want to believe that loving someone with all your heart is all it takes to make the world go round- I personally dont agree to it completely. Loving someone is an amazing feeling, it dissolves one's imperfections and even expectations. You accomodate to the person you love's reactions, feelings, concerns, hopes. You'd jump across the bridge to get to your loved one (figure of speech of course), you'd wear bright orange just cause your partner thinks it looks good on you, you'd sing for her eventhough it would be the most embarassing thing you'd ever have to do, you decided to listen to only one person and it's her, or maybe you'd bake a cake for her, just cause, she's worth baking the cake for but later you'll realized it's your time you sacrificed expressed in form of a material.

A relationship is sacred, fun, and something you'll learn no matter what the outcome. So why go for something short, uncertain and maybe it's somewhat deprived of? I get really tired of listening to people's love stories of how things turned ugly in the end or even blurry, uncertainty, not knowing what did you get from it besides the romping and extra contacts. Stop conforming to the movies and that wild world, start believing in karma, and hoped for a nice day by looking within yourself. Really.

Getting someone involved with you is one beautiful feeling, if that two people can really become one- complete each other's sentence, understood what each other meant and maybe listen while the other one is talking, it would be something you've passed the infatuation stage and hopefully, you'll looked back and saw that there were two set of footprints all along the long and winding road- yours and hers.

Sue me, I'm a no body to speak about relationships like this. I've gone through shit myself and was always doubtful. I just feel, like I want to have a say on it for now, the previous post tingled me. Cleo once told me, to get to the right guy you'd have to go through all the wrong ones, but please people, if you already know that guy isn't for you before you get together with him- stick to being single and browse through your catalog again and wait for that nice guy you've always wanted.

As for me, I've found my nice guy, by far the sweetest and the best thing that's ever happened to me this year. You know the couple I described above? I saw that in us.

I'm writing this, cause, relationships, they... make you, me think.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Friday, November 30, 2007

things on my mind

The Rules:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. Tag eight people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
4. Let them know they've been tagged.


#1:
I have this thing with Pregnant Women; I find them no-competition beautiful. I think it's the mother's glow and the sweetness they have on their face- despite the fact that pregnancy can be a bitch. Or maybe the inner strength, that somehow only I can see. Strange? I know. I have this slight excitement for expecting mothers everytime I see them browsing through those little people's wardrobe. Super cute, and NO, it's not cause I want them myself. I'm good now, thanks.

#2:
I am allergic to modified cars. Or at least, my eyes are. I'm talking huge spoilers, freaky moaning-dinasour sounds from that tiny pipe, out of place stripes, and just plain confusing exterior decoration. And the PIMP-ish humping car as well, I'm too plain to imagine coming out from those funny builds. I do understand that everyone wants to personalize their car, but I personally think that the car is already gorgeous and nice as it is. Even a nut-size sticker on the car can grossed me. It's really, undescribable.

#3:
Why can't we just toss that thing aside and burn it? because it really is not a necessity. We wont die if we dont wear it right? Besides for a better sight of your puppies- maybe, and for that little tease, I dont understand why we should wear it for any other reason, like to work or to shops nearby? Random #3, I personally think BRA is one of world's most annoying invention. I'm speaking on behalf of women's liberation and (dont) believe me, throwing that thing will lesser the chances of getting diagnosed by Cancer (according to "reliable sources"- forwarded emails) :P

#4:
I want to go to Mexico- where Tomatoes are used the excellent perfect way! I want to try the Mojitos, Nachos, Fajitas, Burritos, Torta, Tortilla, Mexican Chocolate, and definitely, getting at least a shot (I think that's all I can take) of the land's, Tequilla! Would love to celebrate Guadalupe Festival, Day of the Dead and Carnaval- okay maybe not all at the same time. But, uh Guadalupe! Why Mexico? The pretty colours Mexico portray I must say, the smiles, the gorgeous people, the dance, THE FOOD, the FOOD, and yes the food. *blushes*

#5:
I'm sorry you'd have to know this. I appreciate you reading my public journal, but well, this is a bit disturbing to know. My menstrual cycle this month, is unusual. Or irregular we call it. It came twice this month. Or was it trice? Because the first one was somewhat a period, too? And the weirdest part is that it's separated within days. It's really strange and really dissapointing to have menstrual strangely frequent, as it restricts me doing certain things of course.

#6:
After about three weeks calling my company's customers for a survey, I realized there's one thing to be added in all the Big Shots' job description.

It's :

TRY NOT TO EVER ANSWER ANY PHONE CALLS! Really, most of them did superbly this part, they should get a raise for that wei! I actually got carried away listening to the operator waiting tone which leads to the infamous woman's voice "You have reached the voice mail." For maybe about a million of times at least. And do you know- there are waiting tones that's made up of just plain tut tut tut tut sounds but with a bit of a twist? so hillarious.

#7:
I actually am thinking of migrating. But it's definitely not this time around or even so, I am not even at least 4% sure of the idea with the four percent coming from where to start off- Singapore, Thailand, England or even Australia are amongst I thought of. I dont know, the whole idea confuses and scares every part of my body.

#8:
After quite a while of forgetting the existence of the entertainment box, I'm back in watching shows that matter. I'm currently obsessed with Amazing Race Asia 2! I love that show because I get a glimpse of other places and the cultures, admire the whole idea of compromising and using each other's strengths and weaknesses in tackling the problems, amazed by the ability to use your instincts and intelligence in a short period of time, on how luck plays a huge role in this game, and last but not least, they're just plain hot.

Teams I (actually) am rooting for:


Those fellas with the checked box are the ones I highly recommend you people to check them out. They're pretty creatures for your eyes to feast on- once in a while. My personal favourite would be the Singaporeans, the guy in the white shirt is mute-dumb but is amazingly strong and intelligent. Respecto! You should check out what kinda person the Indonesian guy is. A mighty fine, sweet, down to earth Physiotherapist, OMG!

I tag:

Denise Chhoa
Kerry Ng
Audreyh Chan
Mazidah
Caroline Chia
Lydia
Shaneil
Jasmine


Love,
Jacqkie.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I'm not obsessed with work. But,

Personal relationships are never meant to be publicized. The new media can be an arse-hole mode of communication. Whatever you said or wrote can bite you right back on your ass. Some uncivilized lifeless beings that read your blog might use the explicit info they know about you- against you. Like he always say, "you'd never know baby, you'd never know!" Whatever I typed today may come from the bottom of my heart today, and not tomorrow's, but what matters is, it is bottom-from-my-heart special, and I must recognize it.

Some of my friends have been incredibly amazing to their other half. They'd wait for them from the train station and sending and picking them up using public transportation is, sweet.

I was in awe and spoke about it to him when I realized, that's exactly what he's been doing all this while. He's been kind enough to come all the way from college (of course not that farlah! but still) to see me every evening- and never complained about it and spent time with me for only about an hour or so, which drained both of us at the end of the day, somehow the excitement of meeting each other is always... there floating around the air around us, you know?

He'd wait for me, and despite me being undeniably worned out-ugly after a whole day of straining on the computer screen and talked to half of the world's population with their different kinds of attitude and arrogance- through the phone- he was still there with a smile on his face everytime I see him.

The fact that he wanted to see me badly with his arm alike few days ago, made me realized he's secured a place in my heart to be above any guy for now. What's sad is that I've overlooked his sacrifice of time and energy, until I started talking about other people's boyfriends' actions, when in fact the sweetest and kindest and most lovable was right infront of me all this time.

Sorry sweets, I was blind and stupid. You really are the best :)

Seven things that I have to (FREAKING HAVE TO) remember all the time;

1) Try not to hit his right arm ever again. Hit his thighs instead. :P
2) Never ask him to spoil you.... well not so much. Really, you're a woman, not a little girl.
3) Family. And then you. Assignments. And then you. His best-friends. And then you. Keep that in mind!
4) Never be spoilt like those spoilt girlfriend you heard or saw all around you.
5) Keep things simple but strong with him.
6) Compromise things. His retarded jokes (he said it himselves) and your well.. "slowness" of understanding things at times. This is just a random example by the way. Du du du.
7) Allocate some money- only for going out with him. Two separate expenses. For going out with him and other things.

Current feeling: Loved. Very very much loved. and In love. Madly. In love. Jumpy excited in Love. Too blardy..

"...you've got me feelin like a child now,
cause every time I see your bubbly face,
I get the tinglies in a silly place,
It starts in my toes, and I crinkle my nose,
where ever it goes, I always know,
that you make me smile, just stay for a while now..."


Okay okay, I'll stop here. I bet some of you are getting nauseous already.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

weekend people, weekend!

Never have i felt so desperate for the weekend until yesterday. I hate working life. I really really do. The fact that you get paid after 30 days of working your donkey ass off- drew things worst.

I am not ready for the working life. I really am not...

Something is really wrong with my body. I have been coughing and sneezing for the past two weeks now. I'm fluish, and I get major headaches once in a while. I have occasional abdomenal cramps which can be disturbingly painful at times. I couldn't sleep well most of the nights because of all these body pain and had to wake up early for work :(

Met up with Kerry, Sway, Audrey and Denise last Thursday. I love you and I miss you guys so much. Thanks for meeting up with me last Thursday. Although I was really half dead after a day's work, but everything was worth it, really.

I've been trying (very hard, believe me) to avoid cold drinks and anything sweet! But of course, i failed. I could've said no to the Long Island Teas and Kakak's coffees, but they're so inviting and silly me, I got blinded by it. and worsened by it. much much much worsened by it.

My brother's coming for the weekend. The bugger's birthday was yesterday and I bought him a Jazz cd which I'm dying to get for myself. *cries* He's 23 now, and I hate the fact that he's (we)getting older by the minute. Wish I could get back to the good ol' days when life was so much fun with him literally pulling my hair all the time and me on the other hand would betray him, by telling mummy what he's done. Oh but we still do that all the time, just not the hair and less physical, :P From my bully to my personal health consultant, I love my abang so much.

Regina Spektor tackled me with the first few lines of the song Fidelity. Mazidah, listen to that song and you'll get what I mean. It reminds me of things that I dwell upon too much. TOO freaking MUCH.

Have a nice relaxing weekend everyone.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Penang!

Penang was a last minute thing. Nevertheless, I had so much fun, especially because it was exactly after finals. I was in desperate need of a vacation and of course lots of Penang food. A part of me felt like poking my arm with the chopsticks for not having any of my Penang friends' numbers to bring me out, but the bigger part of me felt surprisingly proud of myself for touring the town with Rapid Penang- only!

Hey darn awesomelarh Rapid Penang. It’s like, no matter how much you want to get lost around town (not that I want toolarh) ; you can still see Rapid Penang buses every few seconds!

I really must compliment the Penang drivers too. They were giving me ways like I was some celebrity or even a walking ambulance, really. I'm scared of automobiles, I would usually wait for all the cars to move and when I realized the next car is about a million kilometer away from me- then I would walk! Thank you- you really patient generous Penang drivers!

We went to Penang Hill the first day, I think it was last century since I last visited Penang. The usual suspects and I decided to go Penang Hill and check out things from there. "Lucky us!" It was very cloudy (is the term cloudy or hazy?) that day and all we could see was other people taking picture of them-selves and, well each other. Quite sad larh.

I was only pissed off with one thing. The fact that I know nothing about the Bersih campaign when I was in Penang was very disturbing. Mainstream didn’t cover much (REALLY NOT MUCH) of that campaign, I felt clueless, when my other intern friend started talking about it.

..Find my tiny weeny cousins. Hahahahaa.
Darn syok walking around here okay.
I dont know why my cousin took this pic. I love the Gurney Food Center though! ...we were waiting for the bus. ...but the bus came late. Of course.
Please make sense of the club's name. Slippery senoritas! *wink*


Love,
Jacqkie.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Internship

12th November 2007 (First day of Intern)

X: Hey, I'm Peeetteeerh.
Me: ........... *had on a thinking face*
X: ....? :)
Me: Did you just say PIZZA?
X: Hahahaha. Peterlah!
Me: OMG. I got freaked out for a second there.

What an excellent first impression Jacqkie. Let them know how blur you can be! *slapshead*

This is the third day of working in Mesiniaga. It has been super slow and very unproductive. I hope by today I can embark on the internal research already. Seriously, these two days were as boring as these sentences you just read.

Life's been great, with Daren by my side; my fragile blood-pumping organ is beating crazily again.

I'm pretty spoilt here. I get coffees every few hours, my other intern friend is feeding me chocolates every morning, my colleagues are seriously nice and lovable, and at most time, all I had to do is sit in front of the computer and browse Facebook. In two months time, I’ll be a huge-arse internet addict.

Wait, I shall be busy by the end of this week. So I shall be a huge-arse only. Oh dear.

Knowing that my public journal has a lot of readers is both great and, scary at times. You can’t really spill everything anymore or even if you do, you have to be responsive of what you wrote. Relevantly responsive!

Oh yeah, to all my friends in Penang, I was in Penang last weekend- Penang Road to be specific, but I had none of you guys’ contact numbers. It was a last minute thing and pictures will be up as soon as I got it.

“Memandu ikut peraturan, jangan ikut perasaan.”- Sounds familiar?

Love,
Jacqkie.

Friday, November 09, 2007

:)

Ques: What do you call a one week old inseparable couple?

Ans: A Daren and A Jacqkie.

I know this is just the beginning of everything. And dang it, right now, it's seriously the most beautiful, exciting and comfortable state I've been in- I admit. What scares me would be the thoughts of unforseen bumpy road ahead. I freaking know it's normal for a "One-Man Woman" like me to feel that way, that it blardy annoys myself sometimes.

I should give him and myself some slack and not to think too much and to just selflessly drown in-love with each other's company and affection for the time being, because well, that's all that matters. To know and love each other more and more by the second until that big fat wall of challenges grow and then maybe rethink what I just blogged today.

I think he's going to kill me for putting up the pic, either that, or he'll love me more for declaring to the world how obviously happy I am spending most of the days this week with him (*cough-EXTREMELY HAPPY*cough). To know that in such short period of time we're in need of each other- physically (ahem) and emotionally already is just plain,

...sweet, unbelievable and undescribable.

Grey Communications called me last week (OMG, DARN IT!), but I had to turn them down because I've already confirmed a placement with Mesiniaga two weeks ago. I dont really know how to look at this- I'm doing my internship in Subang, maybe about minutes away from seeing him everyday, and this is all happening beyond my control because dang it, only Mesiniaga called me for the internship placement and no other companies did.

Feels like God's a ventriloquist for putting me there and making me do what I have to do- so that I can deal with what I'm having now, without climbing any big fat wall in the infant stage of us.

If you've read my post thoroughly, thanks for noticing the word "love" and bear in mind, it's Daren & mine's definition of Love and not yours or the whole world's. :P

Just so you know Sweetie, I feel like a midget when I'm around you. I should've listen to mummy when I was still a kid when she asked me to drink milk everyday so that I'll grow taller. Darn it! Hahaha! Sorry for the randomness- it's called being HAPPY! *grins*


Love,
Jacqkie.

Friday, November 02, 2007

If you really want to know

(very very personal)

I have a presentation that gloomy Monday morning. I was half awake when I reach college and all I wanted to do when I entered the class was to present my work and go back home and sleep in. Me and some of my friends were introduced to him personally that noon. I reached home hardly remembering anything that happened that day, and passed out on my bed till 9pm. I was that tired and my life was that boring.

That was the core element of yesterday's "affair". I’d say saying ‘yes’ yesterday was the deadliest stunt in the past two years of my solitary days, knowing the fact that the other gender rarely gets my attention or, affection.

I know I owe you and even myself a long explanation. It felt just yesterday I messaged him about my Sabah trip and right now I’m already his other half. I admit on having the occasional Tom, Dick and Harry messaging me for dates and chats, but he made me entertain him in ways that I knew, he’s somewhat special.

We're closer than you think we are. We don't show it to the world what we’ve shared with each other or even what we've known about each other by the day; it was really less dramatic, less tense to keep things to ourselves and peaceful, I'd say. Even when we're together in a big group, I guess only we know how things are exactly with us and not anyone else- and this was even when we're not together yet.

I like him by the minute and it made me realize he erased my occasional crushes from my mind slowly just by looking for me every single day since the first time he messaged me. He notices things of me that I didn’t realize myself, or even sees through me, although we were evidently separated by technology at most time.

And the 7th floor incident which I can relive in my head and laugh hysterically when I think about it over and over again, catalyzed what we had.

The trickiest part of this would be publicly announcing it to best friends, close friends, family or even strangers that walk past by us every day in college. Honestly, I was really scared to tell even a single soul. It felt so much better if things were to be kept to ourselves; unfortunately, these things are not as easy as that.

I was too afraid to be judged by my close friends or even talked-about behind my back by close acquaintances about how fast things happened. I was too worried that my circle of friends would be disappointed by my decision. I was too shy to explain how he got me. I was just, too scared to know that all of you reading now could be shaking your head in disbelief and expect the worst case scenario would happen to me since almost all of you knew about my past relationships stories and yes, it's entirely my fault to be with them as the obviousness of them hurting me was like "The Donkey on the Sand".

I told him that if you’ve found everything you’ve been looking for in a girl, it doesn’t take weeks or months to fall mercilessly over her. It could even take a minute to realize that she’s your dream girl. Better if she’s (me in this case, Ahem) single! *winks*

So "liking him very much" won’t give me assurance he’s an excellent listener, someone who’ll be there through thick and thin or even will still be with me when a part of my body is amputated or something, but it is a lead to a relationship that I will soon know, I will either grow to love or hate of who he is.

Like I said in my previous post, it’s entirely my call. I know what I’m doing and all I’m asking for, is just for you, yes you, who’s reading this, to be there and hold my hand tight, hug me or do whatever it takes to console me if shit ever happens may it be in the near future or in a long run instead- of judging our actions and decisions at this time around.

Oh and DYD, thanks for appearing in my life. Thanks for making me laugh and happy these past few weeks, thanks for making me smile, thanks for making me blush inside and out again, thanks for noticing my teeth (Hahaha!), or the way i walk in Media Hub, or sweaty me during MassCollympics, thanks for taking the effort to add me in MSN and then my number and talk to me every single night without fail ever since, thanks for pestering me these past few weeks, thanks for showing me the part of you- I would never guess you have, thanks for being from just the guy in college to my close friend, thanks for being the humble guy whose looking for that humble girl and last but not least thanks for putting up with me.

I know it's been three weeks and time will tell whether you're a mistake or something beautiful.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Grins

Dear Jacqkie,

OMG.

What the heck happened to your Black Hat when it comes to this matter?
Stop smiling and blardy throw that grin away everytime before you sleep will you?! ..it's only been 18days. 18 blardy freaking days and you're gone? You better remind yourself this is entirely your call.

You better know what you're doing. and dont blame anyone if things would sucked.

This is all you. Get Calyn- ready shall you need that brutal remarks.

Love,
Jacqueline Rowena Jinuin Jimin

Saturday, October 27, 2007

We're strange creatures

The previous post might be in a happier note.

..NOT, this one.

I was very much happy about everything until I talked to someone in MSN about it. (Yes, it was with YOU- girl). I'm not blaming you for sure, I'm just now suddenly worried and confused. or rather, concerned of things that were brought up.

Re. to my title, women are strange creatures. Really!

We can feel so many emotions at the same time, it can be tiring and very much confusing. We tend to allow our emotions take control of our actions or even our expressions on things. But then again, we have so many things going on within us, we dont know which one to take charge of. We assume what we're doing is right. And when we're not sure, we contradict ourself. Again and again. And again... When in the end, we're still unsure of whether we're doing is right or..

Honestly speaking, I cant even begin to explain what the heck I'm feeling right now. It's so ambiguos. I know I feel something, and that's why I chose to blog it- to remind me I'm pretty much messed up at this moment in time. But what the heck is it?

In conclusion, this post is pointless. I just needed to tell you guys how I felt before that feeling leaves me again. Or the feelings leave me again.

Let's hope Cheryn's costume-birthday party will make me forget of these things. Weeeee! Okay-okay, so i've decided on something kinky. Thanks to all my friends who were so excited with my new glasses. I'm still not sure coming as "Kinky ____" what.

I went for the Mesiniaga interview the other day. It went.. very well actually. They were very interested in me that they told me then and there that I got the placement. The problem is, am I interested? I will only confirm with them by next week and I blardy darn hope that I will get other calls from other companies by then.

I need to give myself options (good placement good money ahem). Just kiddinglah. As long as I love that place it wouldn't be a problem right?

My lovely cousin Kakak Milla got engaged last Saturday but I dont have the pictures to share it with you guys. :( I was one of her Pengangkat Dulang girls and I was of course a bit blur about it since it was my first time as a Pengangkat Dulang.

CONGRATULATIONS KAKAK MILLA!


Till then, never underestimate the power of cleavage- Kerry Ng. Hahahahha. I dont knowlah, I just feel like saying that. and may God bless me in the finals next week, as I haven't touched any of my notes at all. I know it's somewhere in my room.

Things to do after finals:
a) Working attire shopping.
b) %8&^$#9- %$#@* ( [un]fortunately it's not something vulgar)
c) Continue reading my book.
d) TRY MAKING MY POSTS STICKING TO ONE THEME OR ONE IDEA. not scattered like this!

Love,
Jacqkie.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Smiles

Of course I expect something. Something out of all these.

Will I be crushed into pieces if none of these things become fruitful? Honestly- I would, more than into pieces I guess. I've never really entertained anyone this much for the past two years.

Smile. Smile. Smile. Smile. Smile. SMILES.

..and yes, Mazidah, Kerry, Denise, Audrey, Sway, Paul and Carol. It's HIM i'm talking about.

That's what he gave me.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Friday, October 19, 2007

I want to pack my whole family to KL

Abang: Do you know that there are two types of drinks?
Me: *makes interested fake face* ...what.
Abang: I'll take Kopi for example. Kopi kurang-manis and kopi....
KENCING MANIS! Hahahahahahahahaha!
Me: *trying hard not to laugh* ....God, you actually make sense.

***
Me: Mummy, I burned my tongue last night during Steamboat!
Mummy: Okayla bah tuh. You have something to remember it about.
Me: -.-"
***
Me: Jessy, I cant see clearly in the rain. We're gonnaaaa dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Jessy: You better dont kill us. I haven't eaten Abang's Steamboat yet.
Me: -.-"

***

If you ever thought I'm a funny girl, maybe through my blog or even knowing me personally, you should really, really meet my family.

My mummy, brother and sissy are like the funniest people around and I just can't get enough of them. Seriously. I'd wake up early in the morning just so that I could spend more time with them and sleep early in the morning just to see them sleep first.

Although I admit I feel like strangling them at times, but it's only because they are just so funny, caring and dang it lovable. I would say my family unit is the best of anything I've ever owned in my life. Period.

We're like some gang or something. You mess with one of us, you're messing with all of us. Cehwah. We stick together all the time, and we actually prefer to hang out with each other more than going out separately. It's as if, we're some good friends who loves chilling out with each other or something. We got the wise (and quite oldlah) one, the wacko menace (...the genius Dr who lose it sometimes- wait ALL THE TIME), we got the blonde and slow (It's hard for me to admit this) one and we got the listener patient one (you can actually talk to my sister about the same thing again and again and she'll stay and STILL answer you even if she's stoned).

Did you know, I sengaja set my brother's huge ass alarm clock at 2.00AM in the morning last Monday? It scared and woke the shit out of him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA. I damn proud of myself man! I dont usually do these suicidal things.

.....and he did the same thing to me the next night. Kurang Asam. I almost had a heart attack while chatting at 2.15AM in the morning.

....and my sister was still sleeping like a baby and wasn't shaken by the alarm at all although we put the clock as near as 10cm to her ear. Ganjillah my sister.

Oh. I've gotten my glasses. and please STOP INCORPORATING MY GLASSES OR ME WITH ANYTHING SEXUAL OR SENSUAL. I teeeelll you, people been telling me I looked like some seductive secretary or even a naughty teacher. Kesian those innocent glasses doh. and innocent me.... aheeeem. *whistles*

Okay, maybe this pose is not so innocent after all.
I damn envy my sister's smile. So sweet and she got dimples!

Love,
Jacqkie.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I wont tell anyone

I want to blog about this one particular thing that's been bothering me but I feel restricted and frankly, I am scared.

The truth is, I am very much afraid of people seeing my vulnerability or worst actually understanding it. Especially when it comes to this matter. I hate it. I'd crawl back to my bed at 3AM in the morning, poke her- pour it to the one person that knows me inside and out without even listening or looking at me, my sister, instead of trusting this therapy- that I thought sometimes would work.

"I saw you blush lah Jacqkie."
"...Noooo. Urm, I don't know lah Ika."
"Body language don't lie okay. I think that fella is stupid for not being able to figure that out."
"...BUT. I was the one that made him not being able to figure it out."
"...whatever it is. Not until you'll regret it."

Interpersonal communication gives me more assurance and realistic companionship. I know you agree with me on this.

The thing is, whatever's happenening to me right now, feels good. Feels really really darn good. It's just I dont know how to spill it, from where through what perspective- how to, It's weird.

I wish I was one of those girls that knows what to say and when to say it, you know? Get that piece and damn it, enjoy it! Parade whatever they owned and never looked back.

*sigh*

whatever happens. happens.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Sway's Birthday!

I am never going back KL.

Obviously that's one really big fat in-denial lie. I must say life has been rather sweet lately. Especially since I step down from that plane to see my sister and mummy waving at me.

Sorry for delaying this post dear Sway. We went to Atrium that day to celebrate Sway's 19th birthday with no intention to get her drunk or even, tipsy. (Okay- Maybe I had that at the back of my mind)

I dont think she's ever gotten tipsy as well, right Sway? But OMG i tell you it was so hillarious when she was tipsy! If I could, I would relive that moment over and over and over again.
It's just really. so . funny.

Blurry Pic- Carol, Sway (Birthday Girl), Audrey, Me, Kerry and Caroline. Started already lah.. I am never sure whether Sway's drunk or it's just her sometimes :DPreetys.

Raya this year is not healthy. I've been feeding myself with tons of (DAMN-YOU) good food. Someone should stop me and even worst, my brother. That boy can eat man! And I cannot believe I brought my notes all the way from KL to KK to finish my assignment. Kejam betul.

Oh, I've made my glasses. I dont know whether I'll be the kinky teacher, the hot secretary or just the ...nerd-nerd. Wont be depending on it too much. Cannot, cannot, cannot.

I just realized when-ever my brother talks about his "medic stuffs" as they say it, I get so intrigued and excited. I'm his number one "medical advices and stories" fan I tell you and I'll ask him tonnes of questions, and he's never pissed about it! Cun kan?

After all that, if he still can't figure it out, I'm going to slap him real hard it'll make him cry. Or maybe just not see him ever again. I dont know what's going to happen.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Not nice to meet you.

..and I thought I was ignorant.

some people are just unforgivable when it comes to their ignorance. It's frustrating to know that after all that i'm still like that bug on the wall. dude, are you serious? What about the rest? Are you seriously like blind and deaf when you're talking to these people? I suggest the next time you talk to other people the least you could do is pretend you know them, or maybe write down their name on a piece of paper. Seriously. That pisses me off. After all that we've gone through, you do what you do best again: ignore. Enjoy your temporary wind-breeze when all those ants behind you carried you all along.

I'm not surprise if you dont make it far or maybe, disliked by your colleagues that knows you're oh-so-fake. I forgave you that's for sure, I guess you just need to hit it rock-bottom.

On a lighter note.

Things I should really-really internalize in my brain:

a) Hand-cuff your hands and get away from the computer and books for a-while you minx!
b) It’s going to be over soon. Just 3 more days, baby, 3 more days.
c) Stop being so emotional when you’re watching those Raya advertisements will you?!
d) Remember to buy that thing you were looking just now.
e)…and clothes for internship. VERY IMPORTANT.
f) Better fix your communication skills, because if not, you’ll look like a bimbo gurl. It's not funny!
g) Stop saying “Huh?” /“What did you say?” /“Apa?” /“What?” or anything alike because you’re irritating the hell out of everyone! Just put on a smile if you’re not sure what they are saying after three times of them repeating it! (slaps head)
h) …not during internship though. Please ask when you have to!
i) Do not fall asleep when you’re watching a musical. And that means the movie Hairspray when you're going to watch it with your sister in KK. *shakes-head*
j) Stop judging people who judges other people. You can join their club then- if that's the case.
k) Raya is all about the gathering- not about your baby cousins that you can practically throw in the air and chase around!
l) …it’s not about the food either. :( *Gathering Jacqkie- Gathering*
m) Just in case you forgot. Family first, then friends.
n) I'm hotter than I think I am? *makes weird-out face*
o) Get the Lisa Loeb glasses if you like it so much.

Oh, keep it coming yo-keep it coming! :D

Love,
Jacqkie.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Hypocrite talking!

I'm a hypocrite.

I like having a great time with my girlfriends and friends in the club or any parties but I can’t allow myself to "find" men from there. Why?

I will make some brutal assumptions/ judgements so bear with me.

I hate the fact that they're asking girls for numbers just because the atmosphere (or drinks) can make them to. I hate the fact that these people live and breathe entertainment or cigarettes just for that night, while scouting for girls who are just as lonelier as they are on the inside. I hate the fact it's them who decide whose hot and who's not. I hate the fact that maybe; just maybe their other half is not there with them knowing that they’re doing all these. And what's worst, I hate the fact that there will always be someone like me amongst them, but because of the place he's in, I stereotyped all of them alike.

I’d scoot free myself with these assumptions of myself by myself in the name of fun. How unfair of me.

…And there I am in the same place, with the same intentions as they are when I’m playing around. I try my best avoiding them which I always fail miserably as some random X-Y-Z would always come up to me with his hands and intentions to wrap himself all over me. (GROSS!)

I’m just waiting for that day, that day when I’m finally tired of all these outings.

Because right now, I’m not! :D

News of the day: I will be wearing glasses *thunder sounds* in 2 weeks time. (Yes Denise, I went for eyes-check already). After months of having blurry eye-sight especially when it comes to textual slides and people’s faces, I realize damn it, I do have eyesight-problems!

I have a feeling my friends will dance and rejoice for the day I will be wearing glasses. I can actually visualize my sister laughing her ass off at me since I’m now in-away disable just like her when I made fun of her when she can’t see when we go swimming. Karma is a *gritting teeth*

I’m surprising my KK friends as well. Maybe not who’s reading this (DUH jacqkie-duh).

So please do open your houses (literally) as I will gate-crash it with a huge smile and a bigger appetite! …and please pretend to be surprise. It helps. Really... Haha!

Oh, I attended The Stop Child Sexual Abuse Campaign last night and went straight to clubbing.


Kerry!
Carol! My mum will be so proud of me, that necklace for clubbing yo!
Denise!..where's Paul?
One of my favourite local act as well. Juwita Suwito. She's seriously awesome.

I saw this really cute 4-year old girl this morning, fixing her thin smooth black hair, and sulk "un-believably adorable" when she couldn't do it by herself after 30seconds of struggling. She smiled sheepishly at me and gave the ribbon to her mum, surrendering her un-fruitful action.

and I asked myself.

"Who in their right mind would torture so brutally these beautiful little people?"

and I got slightly emo after that.

Love,
Jacqkie.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Mummy's Day!

..yes, mummy's birthday is two days after my birthday. Every year I self-proclaim- that I am my mum's best birthday gift ever. Mummy would always make this puking sounds and re-tell us the story where because of me she was stuck in the hospital with this reddish living thing (me! me! me!) which I assume, confirms to the statement that I AM without a doubt her best birthday gift ever. *grins*

As the mummy's girl I am, mummy always want to know what I'm doing for my birthday or I’d tell her what I’ve been up to. How I'd celebrate it far from home and without she wishing it to me directly any more and calling me the birthday girl on my day. I miss it!

She sent me an MMS of her cutting a cake today. And I got very emotional after that.

From the fact that I'm not there to celebrate with her to some random thoughts of complicated "them" in my life to my internship to calyn's gift for me (which is a pair of Bonita earrings btw), I got so emotional in the bus thinking where and what life has brought me.


The point is, I really miss my mummy!! ...and that really pretty cake of hers! Dang it!

Sunday Dinner. The very horny naughty birthday girl.
Calyn, the replica of my sis and her birthday is the same as mummy's! Scary Kerry, Audreyh! and Beh darling.
ps. this Italian restaurant has bendera Malaysia yo. Awesome.

Carol! The new couple who can't get their hands off each other.
It's something a corporate PR should play I must say! The girl who actually dedicated a post for me. Sway. LOVE YOU.


In conlusion,

a) never eat in that shop again. Like i've said, I wont say anything to defame anyone or restaurant in this case. (PEE-CALL-LAW MAWN-DOH) *whistling*
b) I will always be a mummy's girl, wherever I am. and whatever you say.
c) Let them come to you. Not you go to them.
d) Birthdays are like eating-marathon. People feed you non-stop man.
e) I should grow up and stop calling my mum, mummy. *makes sad face*

Thank you Sway for all the pics! :)


Love,
Jacqkie

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

ME day!

Some suggested your annual day is the day:

a) you should get youself wasted
b) you should get "dis-flowered" or maybe, just maybe
c) dump that pest who've been clinging on to you the past few months (I'd say must be because of the first reason)

I, on the other hand believe that a happy day like your birth-day, should always be spent with the people you love. wasted or not wasted.

It's 2.18am now, so technically my day is officially over. I woke up at 6.10 early in the morning to find tons of messages and missed calls. Ignored it, I smiled by myself and warned myself: that the entire day is entirely up to me and gave my reflection on the mirror a wink*.

Going to a communication symposium on your birthday, spending around 4-5 hours listening to these communication experts "discussing", which I assumed not in English (some of it was WAY too intellectual for me), I admit, it almost killed me. Okay maybe notlar, maybe almost carried me to some very-very-very happy dreamland. If y'know what I mean. *wink*

you know like reading and drinking coffee relaxing in my room back in Sabah kinda dream?

...Anyway, It was only during the lunch time did I realize I better start mingling with these "industry people" as they've mentioned in the previous slides, undergraduates with great communication skills are always tick-ed first. After a couple of introductions, I met a couple of people (apparently they are in the same college-duh), my lecturers which I get to see outside of college- Yahooo! "again", and some young girls I totally forgot their name,

I believe my communication skills is believably-bad :(

Regardless, after some last minute discussion of our own, my friends and I agreed on going to MidValley to have dinner together. After messaging a couple of my friends who weren't there experiencing the slow-death symposium, some even replied with a "happy birthday" wishes instead of the confirmation on coming to join us.

-.-"

I have a feeling I kind-a reminded them (which includes my brother-DAMN SAD) it's my birthday today instead of asking them to join me. Haha!

Oh well. After spending hours of talking to these people that I get to see everyday which seems never-enough, before they leaved, I hugged them so tight I thank God every minute I spent with them, appreciating I am not wasted at this moment in time and loving their company more than anything else.

Reached home with a really sore feet (18 hours of high-heels okay), my cousin surprised me with a Secret Recipe birthday cake. God really did hear my prayer when I was drooling over some random cake in the car as I havent had a piece of any birthday cake. The cake was so random I didn't even know what I had in mind! I kinda gave up on it on the way home.....

Then *poof* Chocolate (something-something?) cake in front of my laptop! *smiles*

Having been treated really nice like "excusing me for my slow-ness on getting those high-end jokes my friends make all the time"- is damn fun! :P Hahaha.

Besides that: I watched a chick-flick Chuck & Larry (Adam Sandler & Kevin James are the cutest!), had my name doodled all over a paper on the shop's table -NOT ME, had assignments at the back of my mind, really-really lovely presents, great company and more assignments at the back of my mind, I am glad it went the way it did.

OH! and someone complimented me on having "a really nice skin" today. Confused by what she meant, I managed to smiled shyly and thanked her.

That actually contributed 60% to the great day I had yesterday. hahaha. Nola, I'm never that vain!

*nodding* Hahahah!

I am dead exhausted right now. Thank you so much for your wishes, phone-calls, hugs, kisses, presents, concerns, love, worries, everything to anything. Really! You guys made me feel so special todaaaayyyyy!

To Jessica my baby sister: I will be back soon. I love you and when you're done with PMR i'll bring you out (just movies, alcohol and drug free sister-sister time) every night okay! :)

Love,
Jacqkie.

Friday, September 28, 2007

weirdness

I just find out something disturbing today.

screw that. my weekend's not gonna be ruined because of it. no no, i still like him, it's just that i dont see him that much nowadays.

psst. if I could, I would avoid celebrities y'know, but since meeting and talking to them is sort of in the nature of my career, I kind-a have to. they can either melt you or dissapoint you. in my case, it's the inability to stop thinking about him. shit. shit. shit. and it's not Razif for goodness sake.

I sat there listening to my mp3 trying to ignore the whole world like i always do. I identified my college-mates but they were talking to each other and they didn't even gave me a glance. The train came, and I got in. Them too.

30 minutes later.

All of them were around 15cm from me. I could feel one of them breathing behind me. Gosh. How ironic it is when you see them in college and you dont even know they exist, but there you are standing together in an intimate proximity laughing at the same thing.

..and when the train door opens I just know, that's all the 30 minutes closeness I'll ever have with them despite the fact that I'm in the same college as them.

I dont know where the hell this nonsensical "state-of-mind" came from, but something tells me that I'm not liking my cold attitude. It's not that I want to be like this, it's just that there are so many things to think about and so many things to do, that I admit, I've become selfish in my own world.

I wouldn't say I'm alone, because I'm not. It's just, something, some-thing in me should be fixed.

I realized I've stopped hanging out with some people and it's deep-shit not cool. It's as if I dont care about them, but God knows I do. Selfish is just the word, I'd defend myself.

BTW, I've done something rather un-jacqkie today. I'll tell you when I see you! :D

OMG.

I will be in Sabah on the 12th to the 19th of October, bought the ticket today.

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Love,
Jacqkie.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

One Night With Phunk

Life has been extremely busy this week. If i could close my eyes and force my self to rest my head, I can still visualize those moments where I was practically running around and carrying things, and I could actually listen; every part of my body moaning in pain. I kesian my body u know. Since Project Phunk is finally over and I can now tilt my head and rest, I have to say I have learnt alot of things these couple of weeks:

a) If i were given a chance, I dont think I ever want to be a celebrity. Even not being famous!

b) I find people who stick to their religion "rules and teachings" very... irresistible!

c) I dont think i'm going for attraction anymore. Somehow personality always makes me smile first. *blushes*

d) I dont think I want to like my crush anymore, he seems so Friend-ish. So single it is?

e) Rude people should be vacuumed from this Earth. I just feel like shoving my foot to their mouth and wish they'll go dumb and deaf, while I'm at it. *makes irritated face*

f) I finally allow myself to gossip. Not all the time, but I gossip now with limitations and "facts"! It's not a good thing but at least I dont have to tell myself I should be nice anymore! :D

g) Guilty is the shit-tiest most heart-eating feeling ever. You can die from it y'know!

h) I dont think I ever want to date rock-ers as well. They're just not my type.

i) My close friends are seriously awesome, they accepted me for whoever I am and they seriously understood the line between work and play.

j) I'm glad I'm the Assistant Project Manager yo!

k) If you hang out with celebrities long enough, you will start talking to yourself, and you will be much careful with your choice of words while you were talking to yourself. Haha.

l) I finally liked A Local Act. JOHNATAN CHEN! *drools*

Okay maybe I didn't learn all these in a couple of weeks, maybe this week. Yala-yala, I've learnt all this in one night last night. Dang it.

Here are some of the pics that I took. I was damn kao-kao busy, I dint even know where my camera, handphone and wallet and everything that night okayyyyy. It was all over the place!

Oh wait, I WAS ALL OVERR THE PLACE!

I took this while Razif was doing his script.
I'm proud of my hard-working Phunkers.
..More Phunkers who've worked their ass off.
Goodie bags and prizes! Satu prize pun I din get :( Mr. Christien New, Hottest Husband by FEMALE (Aug 2007)
He's so talkative, so friendly and so energetic. Menghairankan.
Ms. Lavin Seow, Runner Up Miss Malaysia World.
Razif Hashim! The emcee and my boss for the night!
Johnatan Chen was AWESOME and super nice! He rocked my heart awayyy!
DJ BadBoyBen, awesome music and a super super nice guy!

A million thanks to those who've come and supported One Night With Phunk. I wish I could hug you and kiss your hand to thank you guys, but i'm damn shy to do that, so a simple thank you would be suffice. Haha.

Everyone to anyone, who not only just come and take a look but asked us questions to just being there standing around. Seriously, thank you.


I appreaciate it. Weeeee! CPM 07 is done!

Love,
Jacqkie.